Weddingbee boards

From what various magazines and websites would have you believe, it seems that a wedding makes normally intelligent people lose anything they have known up until that point and have to be held by the hand as they take on being a guest, otherwise they won't have the slightest clue what is going on at any time without being told what every single thing is as though they are children, not adults. This includes everything from poems describing how to sign a guestbook of any kind, what a candy buffet is, what a restroom basket is, or assuming that guests don't know who the couple is when the reception starts, etc. Even if no one has ever seen those things in real life at any wedding they have attended, and don't skim wedding blogs the way that brides in planning do (if the brides themselves even do), why is ok to assume that being invited to a wedding makes a person suddenly become braindead for the duration of the event? Not saying everyone does this, but the Wedding Industry wants people to believe that it happens to every guest on the planet. Why does this happen though and why do people accept it as fine and normal when it isn't at all?

lol I know exactly what you mean!  The last straw for me that drove me away from the knot boards was on a post about transportation.  These women (and it was several) were insisting that it was very rude not to have transportation lined up to take guests from the ceremony to the reception, even when the venues were very close together.  They were seriously saying things like "Well, how will they know where to go?" "How will they find a ride if you don't provide one?"  "What if they get lost?" "What if they take a detour and come in late?"

Uh, hello! These are ADULTS who get themselves from point A to point B on a regular basis in their day to day lives.  Just because it's a wedding doesn't mean they forget how to drive a car or call a cab or read a map or be at a location on time.  And it certainly doesn't make a bride RUDE not to hold their hand through the scary task of going a few miles down the road from the church to the hall.

But then I realized that on that board, not spending money on any and everything you possibly can, is considered rude ;)

edit: I also firmly believe that only about 25% of the "oh, I didn't know I couldn't just bring my uninvited guest" people are actually clueless.  The rest know they're wrong, but are playing dumb in the hopes of getting away with it ;)

@greenleafmountain, that is exactly what I was trying to say. There is a huge difference providing information that your guests actually need (for example, being very descriptive on entree choices if you are having them pick before the wedding rather than just "beef or chicken" and expecting them to know with no additional info what all is included in the preparation, ingredients, etc) and having a sign or MC announcement for every single thing with the idea that "they will be genuinely confused if you don't". I've been told (online, not in person) that since we have no need for an MC to give announcements of any kind, that our guests won't know what is going on at any point at the reception. Which is funny because I've never seen an MC, nor has anyone given announcements of any kind from beginning to end at any of the many weddings I have been to and everyone was fully aware of what was going on around them. If someone wants to have those things, that's fine since it's their choice, but guests should not be treated like children who don't know how to think for themselves.

@phxgal10: haha, What do you mean I'm supposed to leave some for others? I always thought the stuff in the bathroom basket was left there as a gift specifically and exclusively for me!

I don't get the "why do you care what other brides do!?" comments.  I don't think the OP is saying that other brides are bad or patronizing when they do this, just that the implication by a lot of media that it is necessary is a little ridiculous.

A cute map or sign can be a nice thing, but we need to get away from the idea that brides who don't want to do them are somehow negligent in their duties as hostesses.

@afuturemrsl:  That's exactly what I'm talking about.  No one on this thread is saying that's it's insulting, but posters keep putting words into the OPs mouth.  She is not upset at the brides who have signs, but at the wedding industry that says that brides without signs are not doing what they are supposed to do, and tries to make them feel guilty by telling them that their guests will be confused when obviously the guests will be fine. 

What is ridiculous is not the fact that someone might have a poem explaining their bathroom basket, but that if some bride says that she is choosing not to have a poem, the reaction is always "What!? The how will your guests know what to do!?"

I'm just going to throw this out there--I was in this camp and didn't have any signs explaining anything.  This turned out basically fine, except for the bathroom basket....no one used it, and following the wedding I've had many friends tell us that they had no idea what it was, if they were allowed to take stuff from it, etc.  Many MANY people have told me this.  So, I would just caution you to keep in mind that most of your guests don't live in wedding world, and things that are painfully obvious to us, may not be so obvious to everyone else.