Post # 1
I’m new to this site, but am looking for some support outside of my family and friends.
My sister got married last April and since then I have been a bridesmaid or maid of honour in several weddings. I had decided then that whenever I do get engaged, that I would just rather go away with my FI and get married just the two of us. Even then we had communicated this to our families, but maybe they didn’t take us seriously.
We got engaged on Christmas Day and now that we have started planning and are talking about a wedding for just us two (somewhere romantic) our families are giving us grief, big time.
I’m torn; do I do what we want and have our dream wedding just us two or do I settle for some wedding here at home with all our familuy to make our parents happy.
if anyone has eloped or hasn’t and wished they did, please share your comments. I am interested to see how other brides have dealt with this…
Post # 3
Why can’t you do both? Go get married where you want, come home and have a family gathering/reception for the family?
Post # 4
@Sassygrn: that’s what are plan was/is however certain members of our family would rather us have some big flashy ceremony then us go away (even though it is less work for all of them). I just wish that everyone would be more supportive and realize that this ‘event’ is all about us commiting to each other for the rest of our lives, and it really only needs to be us there.
Post # 5
Do what makes you both happy.
I am not yet engaged but we are planning on having our wedding back home, as I have always dreamed of the traditional ‘big, white wedding’ – though lately I’ve been considering getting married back in the UK so my grandparents can attend, though that may mean FI-to-be’s grandparents cannot, so we’ll have to weigh up the pros/cons closer to the date.
The reason I’m telling you this, is that once we make our decision where to have our wedding everyone just has to deal with it. That may sound bitchy or selfish, but our wedding should be what we dream of, not how everybody else thinks it should be (granted the reasons that will influence our decision are a bit more delicate then yours).
I also believe that if your friends and family truly love you and want you to be happy, even though they may be disappointed, they will respect your decision.
Post # 6
@Mischka: thanks, that’s exactly how I feel. Sometimes you just have to hear it from someone else 🙂
Post # 7
The only other piece of advice I would offer is that once you are sure of your decision, have a reason in place or a sentence you can always refer back to when/if people question why, or argue their point.
Not 100% sure how to word it, but I think having something to say, which is polite but firm will make everything a lot easier.