Post # 1
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…
– Elizabeth Gilbert
Post # 3
Disagree. I think my soulmate, my DH, brings out the best in me by running the race side by side. He doesn’t shake me up or make me desperate. We sharpen each other by cheering and encouraging each other. We strive to live our best life for each other (and ourselves) because of the amazing love we share.
Post # 4
I dont know about the desperate part but I definitely think that FI and I have created a relationship about building each other up but additionally being able to trust one another. Also I think we are able to mirror the things that that need to be worked out and I think that also comes with trust and what not. I think it is about comfort and being about to bring out the best in one another and in order to do that we need to challenge one another. I agree with it 95%
Post # 5
The first paragraph, yeah, but the second paragraph sounds more like a melodramatic teenagers interpretation of soul mate to me – pretty much how I felt about my boyfriend when I was 18. Normal I guess for that age, but not for a mature, adult relationship/marriage. “Desperate” and “out of control” are not terms I would ever use to describe the partnership and love I share with my husband.
Post # 6
I definately think it’s different for each couple. Everyone has different needs and wants, and the word soul mate i don’t think can be summed up like that. IT means something different to everyone.
so i guess that quote can be true for some people.
Post # 7
I don’t think it’s as I guess harsh (although I know that’s not the appropriate word). I think a soul mate more than bringing your flaws to the surface, makes you realize them on your own because you simply want to be that great person for them, and they do the same.
Post # 9
@MrsFuzzyFace: FI likes your answer!
Post # 10
@BartenderPlease: Haha, I agree with that!
Post # 11
I don’t believe in soulmates… so no.
Post # 12
I think it’s her experience, but not necessarily generalizable.
Post # 13
Your soul mate should never break your heart…and should not make you desperate. Sounds a bit abusive to me.
Post # 15
I agree! A lot of people also think that you only have one soul mate. But I believe you have many, and each one brings out a different facet of your personality and helps you reach a different level of enlightenment. I also don’t believe that we’re necessarily meant to spend a lifetime with a soulmate.
Now… Let me preface what I’m about to say with, I am a Christian…in fact, I’m a Catholic. But I have, through study and meditation, come to a different understanding of how the spiritual world works. I’m by no means an expert in this, and I think everyone has to come to their own understanding of their spiritual reality.
I believe our souls have had past lives. I believe this, because I believe in a compassionate and forgiving God. I think He loves us so much that when our physical bodies can no longer remain on this earth, because of old age, sickness, or design, and if we have not completed our journey spiritually or haven’t learned our spiritual lessons to His satisfaction, that He gives our souls as many chances as we need to be worthy of entering His kingdom. Now, I know that is in direct opposition with what the Church believes, and by saying that I could be labeled a heretic. That’s fine, because I am at peace with my understanding.
Anyway… I think when we find a soulmate, we’ve found someone who we’ve connected souls with before. It may have been a good or a bad relationship in the past, but we are being given another chance to complete what we were meant to learn from that soul. What we may need to learn could be something good about ourselves; in which case, we feel a sense of calm with that person. These are the situations that people like to think of has “having found their soulmate”, that ideal that we all seek. Other times, it may be as the quote above says, a situation where we need to grow and let something in that’s a little more difficult and even possibily painful. These are situations where we aren’t meant to remain with the soulmate for a lifetime, but rather just long enough to learn what we need to learn to be a better and stronger person.
I don’t know if any of that makes sense, and maybe I went deeper and into a different area than you were thinking of discussing. 🙂 But those are my thoughts.
Post # 16
I agree – but maybe not every word.
Basically like the quote: “God doesn’t give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you the person you were meant to be.”
I believe a soul mate is someone who will shake you up and challenge you. We don’t know what we really want or need but God does. A soul mate isn’t this perfect guy who never does anything wrong and is always there for you and never hurts you. Its someone who makes mistakes and challenges you to be a better person and loves you unconditionally despite every imperfection. And one who you somehow have the ability to look through ever imperfection and every mistake and love him despite his imperfections. Its basically like bursting someones comfort bubble to open them up to what the world has in store for them no matter what they think they want or what they are comfortable with. Tough love baby.