(Closed) Do you and SO want/ need the same amount?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Do you and your SO have an equal sex drive?
    YES we have a similar/ equal drive : (27 votes)
    35 %
    NO and it is not a problem : (24 votes)
    31 %
    NO and it is a problem : (23 votes)
    29 %
    other (please explain) : (4 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    59 posts
    Worker bee

    i selected ‘other’… he i know has a more voracious drive than i do. i wouldnt say its not a problem though. he never makes me feel bad or does anything to make me feel guilty but i do, have guilt feelings about not wanting it more. i just don’t want to that much :/

    nothing to do with him, i’m extremely attracted, i’m just not a constant necessity for me.

    Post # 5
    1851 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I answered No and it’s not a problem, but that’s not 100% accurate I guess. He definitely wants it more often than I do, but generally he’s okay with it. At the beginning of the relationship (not very beginning but maybe a year in) he felt like it meant I wasn’t as attracted to him as he was to me. I think he finally realized that wasn’t the case and we haven’t had problems with it since. However, sometimes not having as much sex makes me feel very guilty, and like I’m not being the best partner.

    Post # 6
    2008 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I voted No and it’s a problem but it’s not a very big one.  His is higher than mine so I just feel a bit guilty if I don’t keep up.  

    Post # 7
    689 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I voted no and its not a problem. His is higher than mine, but he’s very understand of that. I guess we kind of meet in the middle. As long as we don’t have huge gaps between when we do it, he’s fine. 

    Post # 8
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I didn’t vote because none of the answers really fit. during the day, I definitely higher drive than him. Like, i’ll try to initiate with a good make out session then he’ll just get distracted and turn on a video game for us to play. 

    But late at night, when i’m totally exhausted (i have to wake up much early than he does), he’s in the mood. its really hard becuz i do have a healthy drive. but I reach a point when my need to sleep outweighs everything else. It’s hard sometimes because our timing doesn’t sync up well.

    Post # 9
    2825 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I voted different but isn’t a problem.

    I definitely have a high sex drive than my Fiance.  But I think my drive is primarily for intimacy and feel reconnected with him…  My Fiance on the other hand could probably go weeks without.  But we’ve figured out how to make it work by being honest and communicating.  It started to be a problem a few months ago, but have since made it a point to be open about our needs, and things have been smooth sailing ever since.

    Post # 10
    1757 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We started off fairly equal, but then I got a new Mirena IUD inserted. For the first couple of years after I get a new one, my sex drive absolutely plummets. It’s bad enough this time that my husband is probably going to get a vasectomy. As soon as it’s confirmed that his swimmers are gone, I’m getting my IUD removed.

    Post # 11
    198 posts
    Blushing bee

    @o0olibelulao0o: That’s my problem as well.  SO has an average drive but mine is through the roof.  I really think it is just because I crave that closeness and intimacy.

    Post # 12
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Mine is higher than Fiance.  He could go without it probably for a week or two at most – I wouldn’t mind it every day.  We’re open about it though.


    Post # 13
    2829 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We pretty well have similar sex drives, though sometimes mine will be higher or vice versa depending on stress, work, health, hormones etc.

    Post # 14
    600 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2006

    I selected other because we have very different sex drives and it used to be a problem but now it’s not.  We’ve worked through it a lot and it’s been great for the past 2 years!

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