(Closed) Do you and your fiance have disagreements about the wedding planning??

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

Oh, definitely.  I was going to write a post about this — and how we’ve figured out how to manage this situation — in the near future. 

Post # 4
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

Have you been making a lot of decisions about the wedding?  Has he had a lot of input.  There was one incident we had where my fiance was insisting on something totally unreasonable for the wedding, and he refused to budge.  We talked about it and he felt like I was calling all the shots on the wedding and he wanted to pick something.  Could your fiance be feeling like he has no say?

Post # 5
Member
308 posts
Helper bee

yikes!  yeah that’s totally sounds like a guy thing to do.  I think it’s pretty normal… thought I could be wrong… you should be glad that he wants to decide things with you!

my guy always has input on what ever and my friends tell me that’s great because their guys never do that… 

i think you guys will have to compermise,  I’m sure it will work out for the best!  ^_^

Post # 6
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My FI is so tired of going around looking at vendors that he has left all the choices up to me.  He did help with the photographer but that was after a month of me nagging him and I ended up going by myself to sign the contract and stuff.  I think it is the guy thing to do.  All I know is that in all the planning there has to be compromise.  The only thing my FI is concerned with is the finances of things.  He wants me to find things at a reasonable price and buy things I absolutely only need for the wedding.  He doesn’t understand things like programs, place cards, table numbers …etc.  So, yes we have definately had our disagreements but only when it comes to how much we are paying for things.  It’s funny because we never argued before and we have been dating for the past 8 years.

Post # 7
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm

We’ve had our disagreements too! My FI initially said he didn’t have an opinion to offer on things.. then when I’d make a decision suddenly he’d have something to say! Or he wouldn’t like my decision, but not have an alternate suggestion. I think little tiffs are pretty normal with all the decision making going on for a wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

Do you like the photographer? Maybe tell him just this one last photographer to meet with, and if he doesn’t like them better, then you can go with the 7,000 one, but if he DOES like this cheaper one better, offer to upgrade something else that he’s into with the money that you’ll be saving, like maybe an extra hour of an open bar something. Otherwise, as long as you like the photographer a lot and would be happy with the results (even if maybe not the price), this may be one thing to let your fiance decide if you are making the majority of the other decisions, that is of course unless you’re footing the whole bill, or he is calling most of the shots and you aren’t.

Post # 9
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee

Haha..I thought I was the only one that got into a fight with my fiance.  But our situation is quite the opposite where he wants to go cheap and hire two students to take photos, while I want to hire a professional and spend at least $3000 to $4000 since it’s a day that I won’t be able to replay again. 

All other friends that I’ve talked to that have spent less on their wedding pictures have agreed and regret having either a friend or cheap photographer take pictures. 

Just look around for another photographer or try to compromise by getting pictures that in between what you want to spend and what you want to spend.  Good luck.

Post # 10
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

is it that big of a deal to give him on the photographer choice?  if it will bust your budget, than that should be easy to explain to him.  after all, 3k is a big difference!  if money is not the issue and it is just a choice over one or the other, than why not let him have this one pick?  

Post # 12
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

no we’re usually on the same page luckily

Post # 13
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

Could you maybe phrase it in a way that would show all the other cool stuff that you could buy with the extra $3000?  For example, if I was explaining it to my fiance, I would tell him that yes, we could go with the super-expensive photog, or we could go with the other great photog, and also get to add on lots of stuff to our honeymoon.  He would definitely be swayed by the idea of having couples massages every day on our honeymoon, taking a private helicopter excursion around the island, chartering a private sailboat for the afternoon, upgrading to a much nicer room, etc…

I don’t know how many other photographers you’ve met with, but maybe just make it clear to him that this is the last one, and that you’ll either go with the 7k one, or the one from today.  Just so he feels there is light at the end of the tunnel…

Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

We had some spats about wedding-related things.  It was tough.  Honestly, that was why our engagement was the toughest time for our relationship!  Don’t worry, it will blow over.

Post # 15
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We can’t agree on colors, it’s at a total standstill!  Thankfully, we have been in harmony about almost everything else.

Post # 16
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yes, we have had planning issues as well, but when it comes down to it, my parents are footing the entire bill so we have most of the say.  We are comprising – we wanted a band, but he wanted a DJ, so we went with a classy DJ.  In his Italian culture, its traditional to have an Italian Sweets Table, so we are incorporating this as well.  But in the end, my parents are paying for the whole thing, so I get most of the say so.

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