Post # 1
My fiance and I are upset with each other right now.
He wants to go with the more expensive photographer ($7000) whereas I wanted to shop around a bit more and meet with another photographer this weekend who is awesome and charges $4000 for her most comprehensive package.
Fiance insists on the expensive photographer and is being pouty about having to meet with any more photogs. I think it’s because he’s just sick of meeting with vendors. Once he meets someone he likes the search ends for him. Whereas I like to keep searching then compare.
This is quite frustrating. We haven’t had any disagreements in months, but I think all the driving around to meet vendors has really gotten to him. He won’t budge. He doesn’t want to come with me this weekend to meet any more photogs! How childish! Do you and your fiance ever have disagreements about your wedding plans??
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
Oh, definitely. I was going to write a post about this — and how we’ve figured out how to manage this situation — in the near future.
Post # 4
Have you been making a lot of decisions about the wedding? Has he had a lot of input. There was one incident we had where my fiance was insisting on something totally unreasonable for the wedding, and he refused to budge. We talked about it and he felt like I was calling all the shots on the wedding and he wanted to pick something. Could your fiance be feeling like he has no say?
Post # 5
yikes! yeah that’s totally sounds like a guy thing to do. I think it’s pretty normal… thought I could be wrong… you should be glad that he wants to decide things with you!
my guy always has input on what ever and my friends tell me that’s great because their guys never do that…
i think you guys will have to compermise, I’m sure it will work out for the best! ^_^
Post # 6
My FI is so tired of going around looking at vendors that he has left all the choices up to me. He did help with the photographer but that was after a month of me nagging him and I ended up going by myself to sign the contract and stuff. I think it is the guy thing to do. All I know is that in all the planning there has to be compromise. The only thing my FI is concerned with is the finances of things. He wants me to find things at a reasonable price and buy things I absolutely only need for the wedding. He doesn’t understand things like programs, place cards, table numbers …etc. So, yes we have definately had our disagreements but only when it comes to how much we are paying for things. It’s funny because we never argued before and we have been dating for the past 8 years.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2009 - Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm
We’ve had our disagreements too! My FI initially said he didn’t have an opinion to offer on things.. then when I’d make a decision suddenly he’d have something to say! Or he wouldn’t like my decision, but not have an alternate suggestion. I think little tiffs are pretty normal with all the decision making going on for a wedding.
Post # 8
Do you like the photographer? Maybe tell him just this one last photographer to meet with, and if he doesn’t like them better, then you can go with the 7,000 one, but if he DOES like this cheaper one better, offer to upgrade something else that he’s into with the money that you’ll be saving, like maybe an extra hour of an open bar something. Otherwise, as long as you like the photographer a lot and would be happy with the results (even if maybe not the price), this may be one thing to let your fiance decide if you are making the majority of the other decisions, that is of course unless you’re footing the whole bill, or he is calling most of the shots and you aren’t.
Post # 9
Haha..I thought I was the only one that got into a fight with my fiance. But our situation is quite the opposite where he wants to go cheap and hire two students to take photos, while I want to hire a professional and spend at least $3000 to $4000 since it’s a day that I won’t be able to replay again.
All other friends that I’ve talked to that have spent less on their wedding pictures have agreed and regret having either a friend or cheap photographer take pictures.
Just look around for another photographer or try to compromise by getting pictures that in between what you want to spend and what you want to spend. Good luck.
Post # 10
is it that big of a deal to give him on the photographer choice? if it will bust your budget, than that should be easy to explain to him. after all, 3k is a big difference! if money is not the issue and it is just a choice over one or the other, than why not let him have this one pick?
Post # 11
amandopolis – yes, I’m embarassed to say that I’ve been the one making all the decisions, mainly because I’m the one who had done all the research, so I know a bit more than he does. Sorry, I know that’s not an excuse.
raindrops – It is definitely a guy thing. He has no patience with the process.
Sweet tooth – I wish I could go by myself to sign the contracts and stuff, but I do not drive. My license got suspended so I can’t go anywhere without him and he’s taking advantage of that 🙁 lol
JoesWifey – I LOVE the photographer that my fiance chose, and yes we can afford him because we thankfully have good jobs, but in these harsh economical times I told him it isn’t really prudent to spend $7000 on photography when we should be saving money more than spending it.
hhcheung2000 – I wish my fiance was as frugal as yours. Mine is so frivolous! I had to twist his arm several times just to get him to agree with me to SAY NO to all the upgrades that were offered to us, lol.
djmaddiebluedog – No, it’s not going to bust our budget. And he has in fact hinted that I’m being a cheap skate, but who in the right mind spends $7000 for a photog? lol
So, our appointment is today and he’s being a pouty baby, he wants me to cancel it. I’ll just have to try to compromise. Didn’t realize it would be this annoying just to decide on a vendor 🙁
Post # 12
no we’re usually on the same page luckily
Post # 13
Could you maybe phrase it in a way that would show all the other cool stuff that you could buy with the extra $3000? For example, if I was explaining it to my fiance, I would tell him that yes, we could go with the super-expensive photog, or we could go with the other great photog, and also get to add on lots of stuff to our honeymoon. He would definitely be swayed by the idea of having couples massages every day on our honeymoon, taking a private helicopter excursion around the island, chartering a private sailboat for the afternoon, upgrading to a much nicer room, etc…
I don’t know how many other photographers you’ve met with, but maybe just make it clear to him that this is the last one, and that you’ll either go with the 7k one, or the one from today. Just so he feels there is light at the end of the tunnel…
Post # 14
We had some spats about wedding-related things. It was tough. Honestly, that was why our engagement was the toughest time for our relationship! Don’t worry, it will blow over.
Post # 15
We can’t agree on colors, it’s at a total standstill! Thankfully, we have been in harmony about almost everything else.
Post # 16
Yes, we have had planning issues as well, but when it comes down to it, my parents are footing the entire bill so we have most of the say. We are comprising – we wanted a band, but he wanted a DJ, so we went with a classy DJ. In his Italian culture, its traditional to have an Italian Sweets Table, so we are incorporating this as well. But in the end, my parents are paying for the whole thing, so I get most of the say so.