Do You And Your Mom Have Similar Preferences In Weddings?

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: How is your taste in comparison to your mom's as far as your wedding goes?
    We are two peas in a pod. It's like we have ESPN or something. :) : (10 votes)
    12 %
    We agree on most. She's never really too far off base with suggestions. : (37 votes)
    45 %
    It's about 50/50. : (15 votes)
    18 %
    We disagree on most things. : (9 votes)
    11 %
    It's like we're speaking different languages. : (11 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Nope. My mother wants me to get married at the courthouse like she did, which is not what I want at all.

    Even though she isn’t helping to pay for the wedding at all, she keeps telling me things I need to do. It makes me crazy.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @petalpetal:  Well, I’ve always known my mom has great taste. She has always loved party planning and stuff, so she is pretty exited about planning this thing. She has tons of ideas. They are not my favorite everytime but they aren’t hiddeous nor very far from what I want so yeah. Since she planned my bridal shower I relaxed A LOT, I am at school and have a job so I thought I would be crazy planning all the things by my self, but I gladly now leave the decor department to her. She sometimes wants her way but most of the time I like her way and she actually listens to what I want and changes her ideas to fit more in to my vision, so I am pretty happy! Hehe.

    Mom DIYing centerpieces:

    Post # 5
    Member
    473 posts
    Helper bee

    My mother and I don’t have similar taste in anything. She jokes that she could point to anything she likes as an example of something I hate, and vice versa. But she is still my best friend, and I still wanted her there throuout all the planning and meetings. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    804 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My mom has been incredibly supportive, and pretty much willing to go along with whatever crazy DIY I’ve dreamed up.  It’s been awesome!

    Post # 9
    Member
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Yes, for the most part my mom and I have very similar tastes. We both loved the venue, the wedding planner, the flowers, the photographer and videographer, the color scheme, the dress, the tuxes, etc. I think she wished we had a larger wedding (we had 120 guests and at my parents wedding there were over 400), and that the ceremony was more religous (I grew up Catholic, but my husband and I are agnostic). But overall, we are pretty similar.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2657 posts
    Sugar bee

    It’s about 50/50 for us.  There have been a number of ideas of mine which she disliked at first but has since changed her mind on.  Especially on paper flowers, our wedding location, and timing of everything.  FI and I are paying for the whole thing and she knows that she’s not really going to sway me, but she won’t hold back on voicing opinions because that’s just who she is.

    Now, FMIL on the other hand…I think we have agreed on one, maybe two ideas throughout wedding planning.  LOL.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @petalpetal:  NOPE. Not at all, which is odd since my mom and I are practically the same person in terms of taste. My mom doesn’t necessarily want a large wedding, but she thinks 50 people is a very intimate wedding. I think I would want no more than 20 guests, and that’s pushing it!

    My mom suggests renting out a European castle and flying guests over for a week long celebration. I want to rent out the charming well-rated restaurant a five minute walk from my condo, and be in bed by 10pm.

    My mom thinks a ballgown for the ceremony and a mermaid for the reception is what everyone does. I want to wear a simple column dress, probably off the rack! 

    My mom insists on hiring a planner, I want to DIY everything and maybe get a day-of coordinator.

    My mom thinks the floral budget alone should be in the 5 figures, I want the whole thing to be said and done in the low (maybe mid!) 4 figures.

    My mom considers good wedding photography to look like it’s a fashion spread out of Vogue, I consider my style of wedding photography to be an unposed, off-the-cuff, candid photojournalistic style.

    My mom expects a wedding party. I want just my FI and I to stand up with the officiant.

    My mom cannot wrap her head around the ceremony and reception being in the same building. Her words, “That doesn’t make sense. NO ONE DOES THAT. They don’t do it because it doesn’t make sense. How will you know the reception has started?” Me: “When…the ceremony has ended?!” I want a simple ceremony in the outdoor area of a restaurant, with the reception indoors. This is not rocket science.

    Because of all of this, my parents are hosting an ultra extravagant engagement party for us, celebrity chef and all. Now I’m seriously concerned about our guests being disappointed with the wedding not measuring up to the engagement party, but I don’t care. I have no idea where the heck my mom (and my dad) get their wedding ideas from. It’s becoming torture, and I’m not even the only daughter! They’ll have another two weddings to plan after mine, and those ones will be big princessy events. 

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    1194 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @petalpetal:  I put 50/50, but it’s probably closer to 60/40 or 75/35. I skewed it a little bit higher because we’ve agreed on most of the big stuff (dress, venue) but it’s been smaller things that have been sticking points (all ceremony music needs to be instrumental, why do you need a photobooth?). She also hasn’t really been to a lot of weddings since the 90s, so she really wanted me to pick a photographer with lots of formal portraits but I shot that one down pretty quickly.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @bleusteel:  Now, FMIL on the other hand…I think we have agreed on one, maybe two ideas throughout wedding planning.  LOL.

    Ha! FMIL? I haven’t even filled her in on a single detail. My hands are full with my parents, so there’s no way in hell I’m adding yet another set of opinions to the mix!

    Post # 14
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee

    @petalpetal:  I voted 50-50. When it comes to food, alcohol and expenses linked to that, we’re on the same page. When it comes to dresses, aesthetics and all, we almost always disagree. We do not have the same tastes, and it’s always been tough to shop with her because she doesn’t get my style at all. That’s also why I didn’t bring her to shop my dress. I brought FI because I trust him when it comes to clothing, he knows what I like and he knows my style. My mother has good intentions, but she simply doesn’t get it. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @petalpetal:  She sees it as a big waste of money. I also don’t have a very good relationship with either of my parents, so it’s whatever. I’m doing what I want.

    Post # 16
    Member
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Yes, for the most part. We both wanted a “grand” wedding. We wanted big, floral centerpieces, lots of sparkle, nice linens, blah blah blah. We didn’t agree on a couple things but they weren’t big deals. I didn’t care about the chairs for the ceremony because by that point I just didn’t want to spend the extra money. She did, so we got the chairs. She paid for the whole thing btw. There were a few other things that I just didn’t care about but she did…but I honestly can’t even remember what they were.

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