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I knew my husband was a Republican, and although I consider myself a left leaning moderate since I rarely discuss politics it really doesn't affect our relationship. However when politics are discussed in our house boy do fireworks start. We are both very passionate about our beliefs and what began as a discussion turns into a fight.
Do you and and your SO have different beliefs and how do you deal with it?
My FI and I are the same way - we decided to agree to disagree for the most part. We've actually learned a lot from each other and I'd venture to say we're both independents now, with each of us leaning a different way. We have a rule when it comes to any political discussions - as soon as one of us raises our voice or makes an disaraging comment, the discussion is over, period.
We are lucky-we share the same political beliefs. Which made our first year of dating, which also happened to be a major election year (last year), smooth sailing!
@starburst, my husband and I have a similar policy but sometimes the debate just gets too heated. Although I will say that making up afterwards is one of the best parts.
We have very differing political opinions and a couple of times right before last year's elections, one or the other of us got a little snippy about it, so we've made a resolution to only talk about the issues we feel we can stay calm about!
FI and I are VERY conservative but come from families with many VERY liberal members. We get along great about politics but it's hard dealing with family members who want to argue (some of whom are educated and have valid points, some of whom **coughFMILcough** get their news from The View and Oprah) when you just want to keep the peace, or family members who want to talk politics but don't want to listen- just preach. We are both so politically involved I don't think we would have been compatible if we were politically opposite.
I hate that politics are becoming so divisive lately! Whatever happened to "to each their own"?
We're both really similar in political viewpoints, and we're both news / politics junkies and talk about it all the time. I really like it. I know a lot of people who make differing viewpoints work, but for me.. dating a Republican has never worked out and just gets too frustrating. I might not have enough patience, haha. Sorry I don't have any advice to give! :)
@Minneapolitan: My husband grew up in a politically split household in the Midwest. His mother is a liberal and his father was a conserverative. He inheritated his father's politcal beliefs and his sister inheritated their mother's. I'm a NY latina, and my family is very liberal leaning. I think it would interesting to see how our future children will feel as they grow up.
We are both conservative, but I am more Libertarian and he is more of military/legislation supporting conservative. So we are on the same side of the fence but find ourselves in opposition sometimes. We just try not to talk about the things that get us riled up. One thing we can agree about, though, is that neither of us can stand modern political commentators on either side. There is so much hateful talk and suggestions that if you're not a Democrat or a Republican (depending on who's talking) then you're obviously of sub-par intelligence. Obviously hearing from those who are against us gets us mad because we KNOW we have good, intelligent reasons for our viewpoints (and my husband as a blue-collar, white male veteran is now in that new class of "domestic terrorist suspects" the far left will talk about), but we get mad hearing conservative nutjobs rant and rave too, because that just fuels that negative stereotype!! I wish people could just calm down and talk to each other. I don't agree with a lot of what Obama does or says, but I liked his "Let's just have a beer and talk" idea with the whole professor/cop debacle. :)
We have very different views--it was one of the reasons we came together in the first place. He tends to be much much more conservative than me. The thing we have in common is a desire to understand the other's view, even if we don't agree with it. And, ultimately, we are both happy we can these conversations, and we agree that as crazy as it may seem sometimes, our democracy is one of the best on earth.
I work for an organization that advocates for public healthcare and I am very passionate about it. He's VERY conservative and we get into it sometimes. He says he's very scared of what will become of single payer, public option, etc etc and also very passionate about it. Sometimes I wonder if we have the same values. It's hard sometimes. I'm trying to learn how to respect his viewpoints, but I have to admit, it can be a turn-off sometimes. I've learned a lot from him though and I have a more open mind about things, and vice versa. We have agreed not to talk about politics often, especially in public. We live in DC where there is debate everywhere...We just save our need to vent/debate with others. :)
He is much more conservative that I, so, no, we don't see eye to eye about politics. We just have agreed to try not to discuss it with one another.
My partner and I have extremely similar political views. However, I grew up in a household where *nobody* shared my views *at all*. I learned how to navigate the minefield of political disagreement at an early age, and also feel that growing up with opposing viewpoints helped me to really dig deep into why I believe what I believe. I learned that political viewpoints do not indicate a person's worth or goodness. I learned how to listen, respectfully disagree, and incorporate the parts of the opposition's views that may be reasonable. Above all, I learned tolerance.
My partner, on the other hand, comes from a household where everyone shares the same political views. I think it's really hard on him when people don't see eye to eye politically... and it is a big part of the lens through which he sees my family.
Still, I marvel every day at not having to be on alert for political conflict at home. It's a real blessing!
We see eye to eye on almost every topic, thankfully. I couldn't imagine it being otherwise because I would get too angry, haha.
We both hold literally the same political views and I'm an officer of my area political party and will even be speaking at an event soon. He's 10000% supportive! We're conservatives with a very free-thinking side.
we have the same views, although i'm not very into politics and he loves it and during the election it was on tv every night and always the topic of discussion. luckily he knows to keep it away from me though!
Yes! I couldn't and wouldn't date somebody with different political views then mine. The way I vote and why I vote that way is very much a part of my personality and beliefs, so I wouldn't marry somebody that didn't feel the same way about the important issues. To me I would feel like they didn't like a part of me! :) Now, I am much more outspoken about my beliefs and will talk to ANYBODY about my politics. OTOH, my husband is a liberal lawyer in the ridiculously conservative South, so he usually keeps it to himself. We have a good circle of friends that share our views, but not many partners of his at his firm are part of it. ;)
We have similar views and talk out politics all the time. We always take our voter's guide and laptops to the local pizza joint before the election and do our research on all the measures and elections. One of the things I really like about our relationship is that we talk so much about current affairs and politics.
I know how it is! My bff is an officer in her state political party and we're not eye to eye but we have the best (intelligent) discussions and what I love is the fact that she and I both care to make this country BETTER.
In the end, if you're informed and feel passionately about something HOW can that be a wrong t hing? At the end of the day we're all Americans. :)
We are both left leaning, though on some issues he's more conservative than I am. And on others he just really doesn't care even though they are really important to me. I've never dated anyone with opposite political views from mine. I think it can work (my godparents are pretty much opposites on politics), though. Presumably there are some deal breaker type things that you do agree on (for my godparents it is women's rights in general and reproductive rights in particular).
I think that there are certain areas (reproductive rights or environmental issues for example) where I would have a really hard time if he had different views. In others (like basically anything somewhat wonky b/c I think the verdict is generally still out on most policy issues) it's refreshing to hear different points of view.
My SO isn't as into politics as I am. We generally have similar worldviews, but he can be a bit more libertarian and I am pretty solidly liberal. And at times he can be a bit black & white in his opinions, whereas I try to see the gray (try being the operative word!). I generally save my political discussions for my sisters or his good friend (and Best Man) who shares my love of politics and American history, if not actual opinions!
mhirni, are you and your SO our doppelgangers? Seriously, we're exactly like that! Though I'll admit I have less patience for talking to his very politically active BFF (and BM), b/c he sometimes has a pretty naive outlook on things.
We see eye to eye on *most* issues in America... the only time we tend to disagree is when I bring up how the Canadian government does things. I'm Canadian & he's American, so a lot of the times I will bring my Canadian political views into our conversations: "In Canada, our government blah blah" That usually causes some strife. lol while our countries have a lot of similarities, there are a ton of major differences. Our discussions keep things lively between us & keeps us interesting! In reality, if I didn't share his views (regarding the US) he probably wouldn' t be with me. Politics are a big part of his career.
The best way to deal with differences regarding politics is to respect one anothers opinions; listen, make your case & secretly know you're right :)
we agree completely on every important political issue, though I guess there could be a few minor issues that haven't com up yet where we disagree.
Our relationship would be a little too conflicted if we weren't on the same page..I don't think we'd have started dating!
Yes, we agree almost 100%. It's actually one of the things that attracted each of us to the other - the fact that we met during the RNC conventions and were both screaming things at the TV, and other people. Even if we didn't share views (thank god we do, as he dumped his last g-friend almost solely for NOT sharing his views - said he couldn't relate), we both share a passion for politics, which is nice. I can agree to disagree, as long as the person I am disagreeing with is educated about the subject.
Also, well said, Bellenga.
We share the same political views and have voted for the same party on a number of occasions. Where our bond is solidified is our constant criticism of politicians in general.
My fiance and share the same values, though we don't agree on every issue. He used to be republican, but in 2001 changed his vote because the conservatives out there aren't really conservative, but more evangelical/extreme/etc. If there were more moderate Republicans out there (enough so that they could lead the votes over super right wing people) maybe he'd consider voting for a Republican. Personally, I would never. But the value stuff is the same, so we get along just fine.
More or less we agree on the same thing. We are both somewhat conservative, I guess it's safe to say (when it comes to government, healthcare, the like) but I am very socially liberal and believe in civil rights much much more than he does. He's very "go with the flow" with it, but isn't 100% sure how he'd deal with it. He has a "leave it be" attitude if it doesn't affect him. He generally believes everyone is entitled to happiness (just not passionately like me) and in regards to women's rights, he says it's not his position since he has no uterus. So it works out well for us. I've learned a few things from him and he's learned a few from me. I couldn't be with him if I knew he was too socially conservative or that we didn't agree on the generality of it all. I'd feel like I was dating a "hater" constantly or something, much like if I knew he was racist...I just couldn't do it! That being said, when we do disagree, it's usually a topic we're both educated about. Otherwise, one of us points that out and backs down. For instance, I'm not going to argue military rights when him, when I know nothing about them =].
Maybe moderate is the word? We're sort of all over the board and we both do a good job of keeping our religious beliefs out of our political
omg, I can NOT watch political commentary. I HATE those. I really hate watching politics in general. I feel like i'm always getting the sleazy republican view!
@Chela429 Oh boy can I relate to you! Politics was never a very big subject for me, I knew what I knew and believed in it, and that was that. My FI is much more into politics than I am, and is on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. When we discuss things, I try to cut it off if we've been going back and forth for a while because neither one of us would ever back down. Just something simple like, "okay we really have to drop this before we kill each other" & change the subject. We're both stubborn, which can be good and bad when it comes to politics.
It gets difficult because my family & his group of friends are mostly conservative like him, while I'm liberal along with most of my friends. So family gatherings with my fam are interesting since most of them side with him. In large groups though, I try to avoid the politics discussion at all costs.
@fizicsGirl - Too funny! Thankfully his Best Man is well informed, so we get to geek out on history and such!
@RecessionistaBride - My SO is from Australia and he loves to needle me about the differences in how our governments work! He knows he can get under my skin 
@esj4y8 - I agree completely. I find the "talking heads" inane most of the time. Even if I agree with them I am put off by the lack of any substance in the discussions. And if I don't agree with them, I just want to throw things at the TV. Best for me not to watch any of the cable news channels!
@lcneiny, we are the same. My belief is at the end of the day we are both trying to better the country we live in, whether or not we have different views on how to get things done. I read my publications and he reads his, and we both talk about anything but politics when we can.
We are opposites, and opposites attract!
My best friend and her fiance get into huge fights over politics. My fiance and I almost never even discuss it because we do have some different ideas. What I like about his politics is that he doesn't identify himself with one side or the other; he's genuinely moderate and really looks at both sides to figure out what he thinks is best. I, however, do tend to lean one way and one way only.
My FI and voted for different people last year. He normally votes what I do but he felt the need FORCHANGE. So he jumped on that bandwagon. Which is fine if you have legit reasons. But he didn't he just liked the way OB speaks. Which is what made me mad. You should vote for someone you think will do the best job and is in line with your core-values. I really don't care if you are Republican or Democrat I just care that people vote with what is in line with your own beliefs. Now I think he is understanding where I was coming from during election time.
I am VERY into politics and my FI is... not. Hence, we don't discuss it often. But he is also one of those people that is swayed by whatever her hears on mainstream news and tv and movies, so I find myself explaining my beliefs to him A LOT. We sometimes get into fights when he says something that I find irrational and hurtful. He parrots the talking points of certain political parties, but when I explain what the root of the meaning is, we find that we often lean more to the right, and to the Libertarian.
I like to tell him he's a closet conservative hehe. He also comes from Quebec, which has made for some VERY interesting political discussions. I tend to side more with those who favor succession, from a cultural standpoint, which he finds really odd. But I don't speak too freely on that since I didn't grow up in Canada and don't feel I have much right to really wade into that arguement.
Yes, we do see eye-to-eye on most political issues. Mr. Quiche is very passionate about politics & we both agreed that our relationship probably wouldn't have worked out if we differed too much. Sounds strange, but it is SO TRUE!
You know, I am so proud of the hive. I think this is the only place on the internet with so many vastly different views that doesn't turn into a shouting match!
To answer the question, we agree on the big picture things, but I identify as a Dem, he doesn't like to identify as anything, and leans more conservative then I do. His father occasionally argues politics with me which can be frustrating, but I have learned to have a discussion without having a fight, which is very beneficial for both of us :)
Well it is true and it can be done! My bff and I are as polar opposite as you can get and she will be my MOH an she's my son's godmother too! We're both really politically active and thru the years I even met one of her friends, a certain representative, and he's on the opposite side of the fence as me but wouldn't ya know it WE hit it off too! More good and intelligent discussions followed and 3 yrs ago on my birthday he was in town on business and she was in town with her company and he called us up and took us to dinner to celebrate my birthday!
You can get alot of things accomplished with an open heart and mind!~ And YES the hive is exactly like that!
I'll never discuss my actual political thoughts here for i don't believe it's the right forum or my blog either, but let's just say that I appreciate everybody!
I just wanted to chime in and say how much I too appreciate the relatively low amounts of judging or stereotyping going on here -- that is one thing I hate about being on a farther side of the spectrum, is that so many of the people that I am supposed to look up to as leaders rant and rave, and then everyone on the other side dismisses us all as kooks. ejs -- I have to admit that am kind of thinking of your "sleazy Republican" comment here. I hope you meant that *some* Republicans are sleazy, not all. :)
This post in particular is to discuss how even with differences in opinion, you can still be with and love your partner. No one side is perfect, both sides ultimately want what is best for our country.
Ultimately, Weddingbee strives for the same ideal. Everyone wants to have the best wedding they can, they may have a different vision and different resources but it doesn't mean that any one wedding is better than another. Weddingbee is a place for ideas, not egos.
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