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I do! I live in the city, and last year I had to walk home alone from work sometimes at 11 pm or so. A few times some homeless guys followed me home to my door which was (luckily) in front of a bus stop where there were usually other people. After that I just decided it wasn't worth it. If the FI can't go with me, I usually don't go. If I had my own car I'd be more likely to, but going to the train or walking makes me nervous, especially with the string of strong arm and gun robberies we had here this summer.
Not really, not yet. I try to be wary and smart about things, but if I need to go somewhere, I go. There is little chance I could over power a man if attacked, but no one is hurting me without paying a high price to do it.
When I studied abroad in London I definitely was more careful. One night when it was dark out and I was walking back from doing my laundry I had two guys follow me and I was really creeped out. Luckily, I was around the corner from my flat and just booked it and made it back safely. If I lived in a big city I would definitely avoid the bad neighborhoods at night.
I live in a relatively safe town now. But I still avoid the SE side which is known for gang activity. I also try to avoid Walmart at night unless I'm with my husband. Walmart is a weird place after midnight.
Otherwise, I think pepperspray and a whistle are good sources of protection. My backpack has a whistle built into one of the straps so if someone comes after me on the way home from school in the dark I can just blow that thing to scare them away hopefully.
My husband and I frequently do our grocery shopping after 11pm. The store is full of creepy night workers at that time. And I mean the creepiest. There is this one guy that always talks to me when we are there. I would never go alone. My husband is always with me then if we go that late at night.
@ amariem - I agree 100% - Walmart is THE worst. It doesn't even have to be after midnight.. The walmart weirdos don't care what time it is!
Yes, I'm the same about waiting to go places with my partner. We used to live pretty close to downtown, and I hated it when he'd get home late from work or something and take a bus downtown, but then walk the rest of the way to our apartment by himself.
I think women generally think about this sort of safety question more (like, have your keys out and ready as you get to your apartment or walk to your car in the ramp), whereas men generally think it won't happen to them, or the thought never crosses their mind.
Yep, definitely! I'm a chicken! I don't even like going outside at night to take out the trash or run out to my car. We live in a pretty nice gated apartment complex, but there are always random creepers roaming around! When my man was on deployment I went downstairs to my car to grab something and this creepy man was just pacing the parking lot and staring at me.. after that I stopped going outside at night.. I didn't want anyone following me I was living all alone!
Random semi-unrelated story:My bro in law is a cop and told me that a girl in my complex kept hearing noises on her porch, but just figured it was a stray cat or something... she continued to watch tv until there was a knock at the door. She looked through the peep hole, but it was dark so all she could see was the outline of a person standing at the door. When she opened the door there was a man standing there PLEASING HIMSELF. EW. She screamed, slammed the door and called the police. When they got there they found the guy and she mentioned to them that she had heard some noises on the porch. They found his fingeprints all over the sliding glass door. Creeeepy
@ Bella - OMG that is DISGUSTING. I think I just barfed a little.. lol.
That story is the reason I am glad I no longer live in an apartment complex. I had some WEIRD neighbors. Luckily not THAT weird though!
Yup! Thankfully we're moving soon, but to a condo in va beach... idk how much better that will be!
Yes! I feel like sometimes I am overly paranoid, but then again, better safe than sorry. I hate being alone in the dark. I either avoid it completely, or am totally alert and waiting for someone to jump out at me lol.
Seoul is safer than most cities (and in many areas restaurants are open all night, so I feel a bit safer because people are up at all hours of the night). But...coming home from midnight Easter service one night, I was attacked and pushed into an alley. Thankfully I was able to fight him off and get away (thank you 24 hour McDonalds), but the experience really shook me. Now if I am getting home after midnight (when the stores near my home close), FI comes and stays at my house. I call him and he goes and stands at the top of my hill so I can safely walk up the hill I was attacked on.
@bamm: That's awful. I'd be really shaken too! Glad you were okay.
I worry sometimes depending on where I am, but it never stops me from doing what I need to do. Probably not smart, but that's just me. I tense up when I need to walk back to my car downtown if I'm working late, or if I'm headed anywhere in the city on foot by myself at night, but I still do it. I'm stubborn. I will say though, I always walk with purpose and as though I know where I am (even if I don't), I don't talk on my cell or have iPod in when I'm walking alone at night, and sometimes I hold my keys in my hand so that the ends are sticking out through my fingers.
You know, I actually worry more about home intruders, but I think that's cuz my parents house was broken into when I was little. We now have an alarm system and I lock every door/window at night.
Yes, there are just too many creepy people out there. I rarely go out by myself at night, now that I'm getting older. It's just not safe to me.
Yes...a lot of places. I'm completely paranoid. I hate being alone. I don't trust ppl. I feel so much better when I have my FH's hand to hold.
I am very careful. But as a woman, it is good to be careful when you are going out at night if you are alone. I always have my keys out before going outside the store and try to park near the door. I also stay off the phone when I am outside so that I can be mindful of what is going on around me.
In Killadelphia? Heck yes there are a lot of places in the city that I don't like to be alone at night. Same with the very safe suburban neighborhood where I grew up though, too...I guess I'm just paranoid (though I prefer "cautious")!
My FH always thought it was weird, that I hated going places at night by myself. I was attacked once, and will always be on the guard. So if I have to go somewhere at night my FH goes too, or it just is not happening. Sorry soy milk, you will have to wait another day. I used to manage a Jamba Juice, and would always be freaked out when waiting outside for my employee at like 5 in the morning downtown. Bleh... so I would have my FH drive me to work (we share a car) and then wait till I was inside safely. We still do that w/ our friends, when dropping them off. We will wait till I can see them go into their door. Our friends always try to waive us off, but not gonna happen. We make sure you are home locked in and tight before we drive off.
Absolutely!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm being paranoid but I'd much rather be safe. I could care less what people think. We live in a city and both my sister and I have been followed on the train, followed home, or approached by some creep. It hasn't drastically changed my life so I don't see it as a problem.
Guys just don't understand in the same way. They don't often have that inherent feeling of vulnerability. R asked me one time why I didn't just walk to the grocery store at 10:30 pm - I had to explain to him my thought process.
It's a shame, though, because guys can be just as vulnerable, I just think they don't expect it to happen to them. But with women, we're taught to be cautious from an early age.
There are lots of places I don't go by myself at night. The train station near my apartment is filled with sketchy people at night - I only take the late train if someone is with me. I also work downtown at a hospital, and I get up super early to take the train in, and in the winter it is still dark and I don't like it. But what can I do - parking is so expensive, and I don't own a car. Oh wells.
Man, my FI is way more protective of me gonig out alone at night than I am of myself. Sometimes it's a little offensive, but I know it's just because he cares. He also gets paranoid when he has to say, take the bus or subway home very late at night. He definitely doesn't feel invincible and understands my paranoia, though he is probably a bit less concerned about his safety in those situations than I am.
I also avoid certain places at night if I'm alone. Any stores or gas stations freak me out at night, especially if there aren't many people there. And I won't go to an ATM at night, even a drive thru one.
i am def guarded when it comes to going out by myself. i constantly look aroudn in parking lots when i am heading to my car. i've seen wy to many stories where girls are taken in broad daylight. its scary. im also paranoid becuase i look about im 15 (im 22) and am afriad ppl will attempt to take me bc they think i am younger....
I am very cautious at night just about everywhere. The only place I really try to avoid is the gas station, though. Luckily, I also carry a gun.
You're definitely not the only one! I get freaked out if I have to take the dog out when it's dark outside and I'm home alone! It's scary! But I make sure to constantly look behind me and watch my surroundings. That's all I can do! And carry what's called a "Serenghetti" it's a LED flashlight that strobes has serrated edges!!
@ Miss Chocolate - Geez! That "Serenghetti" thing sounds totally primitive, yet high-tech lol. I can't even picture it in my head! It's conjuring up all sorts of images hehe.
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I find myself doing this more as I have gotten older. (Every time I say "as I have gotten older" it makes me feel like I'm 50 or something, but I don't know how else to say it!) I don't like to go to places that have large parking lots and sporadic lighting alone after dark (i.e. Walmart, Target, grocery store, etc). I can't help but think about all the crazies that might be lurking somewhere close by, waiting to grab a defenseless woman and drag her off for God only knows what. It really creeps me out. Even if the parking lot is well-lit, the fact remains that it still gives would-be predators ample opportunity to descend upon their prey. Yes, I know MOST of the time that's not going to happen. There's a 99% chance that me & the milk I went to get would arrive safely back at home intact but... I still avoid it as much as possible. I'll still venture out to smaller places by myself (convenience stores, Walgreens) with smaller busier parking lots.. just not the big places. I can't imagine living in a HUGE city (like NY for instance) where the typical method of transportation is the subway & heel-toe express. I'd be on stalker-alert CONSTANTLY. The weirdos have a way of sneaking up on you. Even the homeless beggars in the middle of the day that seem to just POOF out of thin air and beg you for a quarter. EXCUSE me?! WHERE did you COME from?! You were not there 2 seconds ago!!? Freaking creepy.
Ok, this post is a long one.. but I just wonder if anyone else does this? Or am I the only 'noid on the bee?