Post # 1
I hear the term “meant to be” thrown around a lot on these boards (especially after something doesn’t work out the way a bee wants it to work out), so I’m wondering what your individual opinions on this matter are. Do you believe things are “meant to be?” Why or why not? Is this just something people say to make other people feel better about their circumstances?
Post # 3
@goodasitgets: I think things happen for reasons that we might not find out for a while, or might never find out nor understand. So I guess I do think things are “meant to be” even if things feel unfair.
ETA: this isn’t to say you can’t make changes in your life. If you’re unhappy, it’s not just “meant to be.” But things like, having emergency surgery, that you could not have prevented.
Post # 4
Not really…I believe in decision making, not fate, and believe that we all have many people out there we could be happy with, it’s just about who you decide to choose to be with at the moment in your life where you are ready to choose somebody, basically. And yes, I am a mushy-gushy annoyingly sickly sweet romantic, but also pragmatic, lol.
Edit: and not just in love, in general…for instance my best friend’s father just passed away from cancer, literally within a month of diagnosis he was gone, he was only like 54, was a doctor who had so many patients who loved him so much his wake had a line around the block and the fire marshal was called, and I can’t for the life of me believe that someone who only contributed good to the world dying could have any meaning whatsoever. Although full disclosure I’m an atheist so I’m sure that doesn’t help, haha.
Post # 5
@love108: That’s interesting. I didn’t think about it that way. Does this mean you think people have a predetermined future in aspects we can’t explain?
@BookishBelle: I’m on the fence about this, but I’m more inclined to feel this way due to my pragmatic side. I wanted to create this poll to better understand why people feel the way they do on this topic. Do you think that events we can’t explain randomly happen to people and/or all/most of the actions we have control over result in the things that happen to us?
ETA: I think that whether or not someone is spiritual/religious might have something to do with this. I’m agnostic myself, which may have something to do with my opinion of being unsure on the matter.
This also doesn’t just have to do with relationships. I have found that someone is likely to tell me that things will work out the way they’re meant to be or that something was just meant to be whenever something bad happens in life, and I honestly am not sure whether people actually believe that or are saying it to provide some sort of comfort. I know it depends on the person, but I’m very interested in how people in general feel about these ideas, so I thought I’d do a poll. Usually when I ask about this in person to someone who tells me things are meant to be, I don’t get very thought-out answers.
Post # 6
For me, when my So and I say we were meant to be, it’s because soooooo many things had to happen for the stars to align for us to meet. And when we did, it was like lightening struck. We’ve been madly in love and attached at the hip for a year. Neither one of us can imagine life without the other. We have an odd familiarity with each other. There are too many coincidences for it not have been meant to be.
Post # 7
the first time i met my FI (through friends) was when i was about 14 (and not at all impressive) hehe and he is a couple of years older and i thought oh my, one day one day he’ll look at me go ah and be mine lol
years later he messeged me on a social website and i blew him off for a bit then agreed to a date and other without ever even realizing its him until my friend told me who he was months later
he still can’t remeber ever meeting me lol
Post # 9
Absolutely not. If that piece of crap on the floor was meant to be in the garbage, it would. See? Doesn’t make sense.
Post # 10
All this said, I don;t believe in one soul mate. I think we have many very suitable partners available to us.
Post # 11
I don’t believe in it, but I understand why people try to — it’s a comforting notion.
Post # 12
No, life is what you make it not what just happens to happen to you.
Post # 13
I think it’s a combination of the two. On the one hand, I’ve seen things fall into place in a way I can’t explain. But on the other hand, I firmly believe that the choices we make influence our lives–I don’t believe in being a victim of my circumstances. So maybe, the opportunity/potential pre-exists, but ultimately it’s up to us to determine the outcome.
Post # 14
Absolutely. I believe in destiny and I think at the end of life, you end up the way you’re supposed to, but your decisions throughout life influence how you get there. But I think the end result is the same. I think our decision making ability just make us feel like we are in control. That’s not to say what we do doesn’t matter, but I think life works out how it’s supposed to. That’s how I feel about life anyway.
Post # 15
@RedAngelDreamer: I agree.
There is no way we should have ever met and fallen in love, but someone put us together and when I first saw him there was a familiarity that I can’t explain. It’s something that if you’ve never experienced it, then you can’t explain it.
Post # 16
I got fired from a job when I was a few years out of college and I was devastated. My boyfriend at the time wouldn’t let me move in with him and I couldn’t afford to live on my own so I moved back in with my parents 2 hours away. Once I had some space and perspective I realized that my boyfriend was emotionally and borderline physically abusive. Looking back now I can’t see any other circumstance that would have saved me from being with him and I really think he might have killed me eventually (several years after breaking up with him I learned he had out a past girlfriend in the hospital). So in general I believe we make our own choices and find our own paths but every once in a while something happens that makes me wonder if there isn’t a bigger plan at work…