Do you believe in unconditional love?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

To me, unconditional love means having the ability to love someone despite their flaws or shortcomings; accepting who they are. If your DH did something horrible, yes you very well may fall out of love with him. But you would probably still love him (not romantically)because you once had a happy life with him.

 

Post # 4
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Interesting question.

I don’t believe in unconditional love. I’ve always though the whole “if you can’t love me at my worst then you don’t deserve me at my best” notion was quite strange. If I was cheating or voilent I hope DH would break up with me. I love him, he deserves to be in a loving relationship. 

I do think when people say “unconditional” they really mean “for the forseeable future” with “normal” marriage problems like communication problems, physical and emotional changes, etc. 

Post # 5
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Lovemelovemyhorses:  I think some people can and others can’t 

I think a lot of things could change my relationship with DH but I think I would always love him…If he was abusive or did something extreme then our marriage would probably end but I don’t think the love would. Parents still love children who murder or do bad things so why couldn’t they feel that way towards their spouse?

Post # 6
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@AlwaysSunny:  I don’t think ending a relationship is the same as not loving the person anymore. 

I don’t believe in unconditional relationships but I believe in unconditional love 

OP, this is such a interesting topic!

 

Post # 7
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Payless:  That’s true. If a couple breaks up I think they would eventually feel like they weren’t in love, especially if they find new partners. It’s interesting to think about…for those people who have divorced and remarried, does that mean that just the first relationship wasn’t unconditional love or that no relationship is? 

Post # 8
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My children have my unconditional love. My G*d has my unconditional love. My husband does not. That my view of it anyway.

Post # 9
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

@Lovemelovemyhorses:  I believe I love my husband unconditionally. There is nothing he could do that would make me stop loving him. Unconditional love does not mean an unconditional relationship. There are boundaries he could cross that would make me end things. 

Post # 11
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@AlwaysSunny:  Hmm, that probably changes with each couple/situation. My step-dad and mother divorced my freshman year and my dad says that he still loves her but in a very different way than he did before (she cheated and left him). He is more than moved on but when asked he says he loves her as the mother of his children but it isn’t romantic. I suppose that could change as time goes on but I always thought that was a thought provoking response! 

Maybe it is similar to a first love/crush? The person isn’t in your life, you don’t know who/where they are, and the relationship may have been immature but you still feel something for them? I wonder if someone with experience will answer! 

 

Post # 12
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Lovemelovemyhorses:  Nope. I certainly don’t. I feel as though people throw that word around but no-one understands what it really means.

Also, many people may say they would forever in some way love their husband, have no idea of the long term ramifications of separation from a partner. I’m not saying I do either, but I don’t kid myself to think that if FI hurt me or someone else and we were apart from then on, that I would love him 80 years from now. I won’t, I will remember our times together and our love fondly, but that love would no longer be there.

Ive seen many divorcees go from “I will always love you” to “I can’t believe I married him”

We are a society of “top-shelf word” users, and this is another example of that I think.

Post # 13
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Payless:  I reeeeeeeeeeally want someone older to come over and give us some answers! Where’s Mrs TTR when you need her? 😛

Post # 14
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@FutureMrsHallam:  + a billion! 

Seriously, you got to love Mrs TTR’s input on threads like this! 

Post # 15
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

@Lovemelovemyhorses:  all I could think was ‘I bet your love wouldn’t be so unconditional if he stabbed you’ this made me giggle uncontrollably, mostly because I don’t like Katy Perry. 

I agree with your point of view though, there are plenty of things that could end my love for DH. In extreme circumstances (as you gave examples of cheating or seriously hurting/murdering a loved one), that I daresay would even make me hate someone I loved. 

Post # 16
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Payless: I have yet to find a post of hers I do not love 🙂

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors