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I think it totally depends on the couple. My mom and step dad split everything down the middle and have their own accounts. That it what works for them. FI and I are more loose about it. We take turns paying bills and things like that and plan to open a joint account soon. We will both keep our own "rainy day" accounts though. But thats just what works for us...
We still have separate checking accounts. Its mostly laziness. We don't keep track of household expenses enough to split them down the middle exactly. i.e. I pay the water bill and he pays electric/gas and I'm pretty sure I'm making out like a bandit. I just think sharing would be annoying. How do you check for fraud? Do you ask your DH about every little thing you don't recognize to make sure someone isn't using your card?
We do share a savings accout/rainy day fund. I don't see anything changing until we have kids.
Everyone's going to be different, but I pay FI a flat rate through direct deposit every month that covers my half of the mortgage plus a little more. I pay for groceries and he usually picks up 80% of our dinners when we go out and everything else.
When we get married we're planning on a joint checking account and contributing an equal percentage into it every month... like 60%. The other 40% is our money to play with as we choose.
We have combined everything. Most expenses go on a joint credit card and we pay that out of one of our accounts (used to be his account but I was added to it). We pay our rent out of our other account (used to be mine but he was added to it). We personally don't see the need for keeping separate money, since joining our accounts didn't change our spending habits at all (i.e. we're not individually spending more just because we have access to more money). For us, this is much easier and makes more sense.
Nope, as of now, things are separate. We plan to open a joint account for household bills when we're married, but we still keep our indvidual accounts. He wants to pay his financial obligations on his own because he doesn't want me to be responsible for his past mistakes. After he's paid them off, we might join finances.
We have a "Yours, Mine, Ours" system. The joint checking and savings accounts are for all household expenses, dinners out together, vacations, etc. We both contribute equal amounts to this account. And then we have individual checking and savings accounts so that I can treat my girlfriends to lunch and he can buy a new toy, all without having to check-in with one another.
Everything is combined for us too. We sat down and made a firm budget together and we go over it once a week to make sure that we're on track/see what we need to cut back on to make sure that we stay within the budget for the month. We talk about any major purchases together and we make decisions about how much to put into savings, etc. together.
before we were engaged we had a giant spreadsheet where we'd keep track of who had spent what on our joint expenses (car, rent, pet bills, groceries, etc). it was never even though--i'd bought a bunch of stuff at the beginning of living together, like furniture, so he always "owed" me. then when we got engaged we just stopped keeping track since it was eventually all getting combined anyway. now that we're married we share a credit card, but then we're also joining our checking/savings too, eventually (when we get around to the paperwork...oops...)
We have combined everything. We personally see no need to keep anything seperate and have been this way even before marriage. But this is what works for us.
There's nothing separate. My family would scoff at it! They believe in the female having her own nest egg. My SIL does and my brother is totally fine with it! It's common in our culture.
Whatever works for the couple.
we blend 100%. theres a hundred reasons why,but the main ones are that Im not such a spend freak anymore. When it was my own money,I was stupid with it and would pretty much blow it without thinking too much about bills (I was terrible,I know!) and also,DH earns much more than me so it seemed silly to have a seperate account for what little I was bringing in.Its just easier to have one account together than have to worry about who pays what,and when. We can have it all just come out of one account. But we also withdraw X amount each week,and thats the money we have to spend and play with.
Any big purchases we clear with each other first,but mostly its just things like food shopping and travel expenses.
FI and I plan to keep our seperate accounts for now. For the most part we will have certain bills we are responsible for. FI makes more than I do, so he'll handle the rent and larger expenses, and I'll handle groceries and the smaller bills. And we'll each continue to pay our individual bills as needed. This is pretty much how we live now, even though we don't technically live together yet.
this is always fascinating to me. i guess it depends on the couple, how you were raised (to an extent), how you are with your own personal finances prior to being involved with anyone and a slew of other factors. thanks for all the responses!
We put 60% of what we make into the joint account (savings adn checking). This covers all of our joint expenses as well as things one person may want and the other agrees to (i.e. my ring upgrade, my student loans, his new TV, etc)
We don't have a joint account, but we do have linked accounts. That works best for us. We use the same bank but have seperate checking accounts. Both of our names are on each others account though so we can see each other's account when we log on to web banking and can transfer money between accounts online. We do keep seperate savings accounts though.
@AmberAustin: thats a really interesting way to do it. But I totally can see the logic. We have talked about possibly having a joint account that we put money into to paid for joint expenses like rent and whatnot. but I do not see us being able to let go completely of our financial independence. I guess thats just us lol
Right now our arrangement is a little of column A, a little of column B, but we'll probably shift to just a joint account after the wedding. Currently we both have separate savings and checking accounts as well as joint checking and savings, but our attitude is very much "What's mine is ours"--we are constantly transferring between the accounts.
I think this is totally a personal preference and a lot of people do it differently, but this is what works best for us. For me, I didn't want to feel like we had to even out the expenses all the time to make sure we were each paying our part by splitting everything.
FI and I are moving more and more towards blended, but I think we'll always have separate accounts for spending money. It's been tough for me to let go of control. I make more money and have no issue paying for things. In fact I just bought us plane tickets for FL for February. But right now, only the money I use for bills goes into our joint account.
Eventually, I'd really like us to get to a place where everything except completely person expenses are joint. When we go on vacation, I'd like us to pay for plane tickets, hotels, etc out of one account. I'd like us to be able to go out to dinner and not be dividing up the check penney by penney.
But FI is super strict with himself about money or he'll spend too much. And I like having control so that I know things are getting paid. I bought our house before we were together, so my name's the only one on the mortgage and I'm paranoid about making sure he's not accidentally spending the mortgage money.
We have our separate checkings/savings account, even though we've added each other as joint users in case we need access, and separate credit cards. He's had my credit card for gas since I get better rewards, and Ive recent got another card that will be better rewards for groceries so he'll be on that too for grocery runs. Everything else, which isnt much, he charges to his own card. We dont track who spends what on what but have what we are responsible for the house. Me: mortgage and taxes, my credit cards. Him: everything else for the home, his cards. It's just easier to spot if there's an unusal charge this way instead of having to check with each other on stuff that might look suspicious.
For us, it works better to combine all finances and bills. We pay all bills with "our" money so there is no resentment or lack of communication on financial obligations. We have a joint bank account and pay everything with that.
We got a joint bank account before we were engaged.
We had lived together for a year, and during that time we just split the bills. It got really annoying with things like dinners out or traveling or other activities. We moved across the country together and decided that point we would get a joint account. We got engaged fiveish months later. We don't regret the decision, and it's made our lives much easier.
We do consult each other when we make purchases, but I think that's respectful because it truly is our money. We rarely tell the other "no," but sometimes it's, "Maybe you should wait until next month."
It works for us. We trust each other, balance each other and respect each other. I oculdn't imagine having separate accounts, but I know some people feel the same about joint.
So, to each her own!
When we get married, my FI wants to take care of the bills like rent/utilities plus pay his student loan bill. I will pay off my student loans with my money and use my money for "fun" stuff, like going out. He wants to contribute equally to a savings fund for a house i.e. but says we need separate accounts so we can buy each other xmas gifts and make it a surprise. I'm like "cool whatever, as long as we pay off our loans".
We are weird and have had a joint account since about a year into our realtionship. We have always just put all our money together and never worried about who's money is who's. I am sure this wouldn't work for a lot of people but for some reason it's what works for us! I think we probably do it this way because from from early on in our relationship we have been very open about being together and also my parents and his parents do their finances like this, I think that has a lot to do with it! Also, we don't have a lot of assets that would be affected should we split right now.
*Disclaimer: not trying to say if you have seperate accounts you aren't commited to eachother. That's sooo not true! I think it's smart to have seperate accounts!
EDIT: Also wanted to add that we always consult eachother on large purchases to make sure we both think it is something we should be spending our money on!
Our checking and saving accounts are blended, but he has a credit card with only his name on it, and I have a credit card with only my name on it. Any purchases made on those credit cards need to be discussed and accounted for when we're doing our next month's budget.
@stardustintheeyes: Your parents have a similar method that we do. We blend our money and I handle the finances. Any large purchases we discuss together and if he needs something he just tells me so I can make a note of it for budgetary reasons.
Overall we were together about two to three years before we blended our money. I don't regret it but then I knew that we were going to be together for life and that marriage was right down the road. I certainly wouldn't recommend it for just any relationship, it requires a HUGE amount of trust.
@Treejewel19: well my parents are complete opposites with money. My dad is horrible with it and he knows it. He is horrible and making and keeping a budget. My mom on the other hand is a financial genius lol so for them it was agreed really early on between them that my mom would be the financial guru between them since he was admittedly not good with money. He is fine with this and does something like your DH does. If there is something he wants (within reason of course lol) she will work it in and make it happen. they discuss the budget monthly simply so he is aware of whats going on but the actual organizing of it is done by her. its really quite a nice set up for them.
We combined absolutely everything. We had been together almost 4 years when we decided to do it and it makes life immensely easier. I don't have to feel bad about asking him to borrow me a few dollars and he feels less like he's contributing everything. We tried to do the his, mine and ours thing and it was just way to messy and complicated. It works so much better for us to just spend out of the same pot and not worry about who is doing what. This works for us mainly because we do not judge the others purchases. He rarely feels that I spend to much on clothing or shoes because he too likes clothing and shoes. I don't ever feel like he shouldn't spend money on softball stuff because it is a passion of his and it isn't going to waste.
We blend everything--we just share one joint checking account, and make most of our charges on a credit card that we have together. It's AmEx, so occasionally I'll have to charge something on my personal Visa card if AmEx isn't accepted. He pays all the monthly bills out of our account. We make about the same salary, and we each have expenses that the other doesn't have (I have a car payment, he has student loans, etc.). So far it's working out pretty well, besides that occasionally I have to explain to him that I need allergy meds and makeup/hair products/clothes in order to stay happy and healthy.
@Pomapoo: I think that's the one thing guys just cannot comprehend is makeup and why it has to be replaced, how often it has to be replaced and especially how this shade is not the same as that shade.
We have seperate accounts and we plan on keeping it that way for awhile. I pay a fixed amount for rent each month and we take turns buying groceries, paying for eating out, etc. FI pays about 80% of the bills and I try to chip in wherever I can! I've got it pretty good!
A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. We have joint savings and chequing accounts, and separate savings and chequing accounts. We pay our mortgage/taxes/homeowner's insurance out of a joint account. As for the rest of the expenses, we just kind of divied them up when we first moved in together and they've stayed that way (I pay the cable/phone, he pays the gas, water, electricity etc.).
One thing that I think is important to keep in mind if you aren't fully combining your finances is that expenses should be proportional to income. DH makes 2x what I make, so he pays 2x more than I do in expenses each month. If we just split it 50/50 then at the end of the month he would be rolling in money and I would probably be overdrawn on my account.
we are completed joined with personal accounts. I have a separate business account, obviously.
DH was basically unemployed for the summer while he transitioned to a new job. For those that have split finances and split bills, what happens if you (or SO) lose their job?
We haven't combined yet, but we have discussed combining after we are married. When we are married we will most likely combine completely.
We got a joint account when I "officially" moved in a year ago. FH didn't want me to pay anything towards his house until we found a renter for my condo. Before that I think he paid for most meals out, and we'd take turn buying groceries etc, but we didn't keep track.
We basically make the same salary so we contribute evenly to all our expenses. We do still have separate accounts we use to pay car insurance, car payments, student loans, etc., stuff that just isn't 'combined.'
My FI and I split everything down the middle and keep separate accounts for now but we plan on completely combining finances after the wedding.
we dont do either of these - we have separate accounts and he pays the household bills, i pay for furnishings/vacations etc and whoever does the shopping (usually me) pays for groceries
i would never accept splitting the bills down the middle - its not something he would ask of me, if it came to that we would combined accounts
We have a joint savings/checking and we each have our own credit cards. If I ever wanted to surprise her I could put it on my credit card and she wouldn't be able to see what it was and vice verse. To be honest though I keep track of the money more so she probably wouldn't notice anyway. : ) It's very easy and simple and we really have no concept of "mine" - everything is "ours." I wouldn't have it any other way.
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i am curious. Im sure there are threads on this topic but I was too lazy to go find one lol. I wont go into mine and my SO's history but we are not a "new" relationship. We have lived together before but currently do not. We have talked about how things will work when we do share a residence again and due to our past experience and just how we are as people we decided it would work best for us to split all household expenses equally but keep separate bank accounts and have one joint savings for any big purchases and for our "rainy day" funds. I am the type of person that likes to have control over my own finances and he is the same. this has nothing to do with our trust in each other but more just a personal preference when it comes to money. My parents have one joint checking and my mom handles the finances. this works for her marriage. I could not do it that way though, but for them it works just fine. So i realize everyone is different. How do you and your SO handle finances? :)