Post # 1
Going out for dinner on the weekend for BIL’s birthday to this fancy, expensive restaurant. Then I got wondering, should I buy a present?
I don’t usually buy for my other BIL who lives overseas. My siblings and their partners don’t buy for my SO, so I’m going to go with no present. As it is, dinner will cost a small fortune, and payday isn’t until next week (get paid fortnightly), so I’ve allowed enough for the dinner and also living expenses until my next pay.
Do you typically buy presents for your siblings in law? Do you buy presents for your spouse’s’partner’s siblings? I find the birthdays thing gets out of hand, the older I get, the less I want and just enjoy spending time with the family. My sister and BIL don’t spend a lot on each other, although they could afford to, they are just smart with their money and choose not to.
For the last couple of Christmases, we had decided in my family not to buy for each other, just buy for our own partners and vice-versa. It was a great idea, no one was blowing their budget or having to brave the shops looking for things that no one needs anyway!
Post # 3
You don’t have my option up there, so I didn’t vote. We don’t exchange presents for birthdays other than buying a drink for who’s ever birthday it is, but at Christmas, we give a joint present from me and my FI to FSIL and FBIL, and they give us one joint present in return.
Post # 4
No, actually a group of us just went out to dinner for my husband’s brother’s fiance’s birthday. We did not bring a gift and I would not want her to get me one either on my birthday.
Actually my husband’s sister gave me a gift card for my birthday and I DISliked it – simply because now I feel obligated to get her something (no idea what) and I don’t want to start this gift giving tradition!!
Kids? different story.
Post # 5
I don’t really have a standard on this one, it kind of depends how close i am to the person, and how I’m doing financially at the time. One of my brothers’ irlfriends is my really good friend, so I generally do get her a gift. Both of FI’s siblings live out of state, but if they were in town for their birthday’s I’d probably get them a little something.
For Christmas, I picka gift I want to make and make the same thing for everyone. It’s cost effective and no one feels left out.
Post # 6
@Deejayelle: Here is what we do:
FI’s Family – we buy birthday and Christmas presents for his parents, siblings, and that girl his brother is dating (really wish we didn’t have to get her anything, but I digress)
My family – we buy birthday presents for my parents, siblings, and FBIL. At Christmas, we get my parents a joint gift and my siblings, FI, and FBIL do a PJ Swap; basically, you buy yourself a set of pajama, hand your pjs to the person next to you, hand them back to the person who bought them, and act all surprised. It’s actually really funny to watch (my parents always crack up).
Post # 7
I voted that I buy for my husband’s siblings and not my own, but really we just give them money. We give money to SIL’s husband, but my husband’s brothers are single. We do give the kids presents though.
Post # 8
@Deejayelle: My fiance’s sisters have always given me gifts on my birthday and at Christmas, and I have done the same (and my sisters have always given my fiance gifts as well and vice versa).
I remember early on in our relationship, it was always “separate” presents – as in, my fiance would give his sisters a gift from himself, and then I’d give them a gift from me.
As our relationship became more serious, we naturally moved on to giving his sisters/my sisters a single gift from the both of us.
Post # 9
My husband buys a gift for his brother so I guess in a way I’m giving a gift as well.
ETA: he writes my name on those gifts to his brother and we share money so yes, I get his brother a gift but we don’t give him two separate gifts.
When my brother gets married or his brother gets married we will likely buy presents for them as well.
Post # 10
I buy presents for my siblings and their spouses. I like to give presents. Getting presents, however, makes me feel very awkward.
Post # 11
Nne of our siblings have spouses, or even boyfriend/girlfriends. We do however always give a present to each sibling, from both of us. When they’re all married… well, we’ll probably try, but DH has 3 brothers and a sister so it could get a little difficult to keep track of. My brother should be much easier.
Post # 12
“I” don’t specifically buy gifts for my BIL, but we have all our money in one account now essentially, so some of ‘my’ money goes towards buying presents for my BIL. Just like some of DH’s money goes towards buying presents for my sister. The ‘rule’ though is that we have to pick out and purchase the gifts for our own sibling and parents. Or DH at least has to tell me exactly what to get so I can go out and get it. (I work right next to a mall and go ther often so for me to stop and get a sweater for my BIL or whatever is no big deal).
Before we co-mingled funds we’d just each spend a little more than usual on presents and make them from both of us, which meant it evened out in the end (I’d spend an extra $25 on my sister’s present as then BF/FI’s contribution, he’d spend an extra $25 on his brother’s present as ‘my’ contibution). Works out nice since our immediate families (the people we buy presents for) are the same size.
Post # 13
- Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN
@Deejayelle: looks like I am the one and only
“I buy for my sibling’s spouse but not my spouse’s siblings”
My family is close like that and his is not.
Post # 14
I get everyone a card. Husband is ridiculous to shop for so I usually just throw him a party. We really only do presents for Cheistmas.
Post # 15
Yes to sibling’s spouses and spouses’s siblings for milestone birthdays or if we are celebrating together. Otherwise, a card. We do the same for siblings.
Post # 16
In my family, we go out for dinner and treat the birthday person (well in reality the couple) and give a card. With DH’s family, I get a gift for my SIL. It’s become a thing with her as her birthday is close to Christmas. She doesn’t get me a birthday gift, but when we’re in town she does take us out for dinner.