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Hi Hive,
I'm very curious to find out, do you actually buy gifts off of the brides/grooms registry?
I am about one week from my wedding and up until now, i have noticed a major trend in my fiancee's side, that no one buys off the registry. They all buy items for us that they pick on their own. The only reason I made a registry was FOR his family, since they only give gifts, while my family only gives monetary gifts.
I guess I am just wondering if i am alone. its a little frustrating taking the time to make a registry only to then have people buy you multiple toasters, kettles, etc.
Oh gosh. That is frustrating. I ALWAYS buy off the registry. If I am very close with someone, I may buy off the registry and buy something I know they will like, but I always stick with the registry.
I buy from the registry for the shower, and give money at the wedding.
I think the point of the registry is so your getting the things that you want and that match your households theme. I would only pick something personal if I had already bought something from the registry. This was a kind of annoying thing that happened to me also.
I think it's a regional and cultural thing. I buy off the registry because I don't want to give someone something they don't want. Unless they are obnoxious about shoving where they are registered in my face; then I get them a crappy useless gift ;-) lol
If I give a gift that isn't money it's from the registry. I probably give money/registry gifts about 50/50, depending on the couple. I don't get the anti-registry thing at all. Maybe it's generational? But seriously, if someone told you what they would like, why would you assume you know better?
i usually give from the registry
Mostly, I just give money because i feel that then the couple can choose to get whatever they want with it and everyone could use with some more money. :) Sometimes, when I'm especially broke, i'll buy off the registry if they have a few less expensive things. That way they are getting what they want instead of $20 bucks from me. Generally, I try to give money gifts of $50 or more, so when I'm broke i feel bad and want to make sure that whatever I get them they want and/or need.
I'd be a little frustrated too. We put a lot of thought into our registries! I only only ONLY buy gifts off of registries. And I strike early to ensure I'll be able to do so. Before all the good stuff is gone. I always wonder why people feel they're better at determining what WE need.
Funny story- I was at a friends shower, we were all gathered around as she opened gifts. She got to mine and she said, "THANK YOU Jen, for actually getting me gifts off of my registry". Everyone looked at me, I was actually kinda embarrassed! Apparently most others hadn't followed the rules!
I love buying gifts from registries, and for the shower and wedding, that's what I do. I do it because I try to pick something the couple really wants, but wouldn't normall buy themselves, like china or the fancy towels. I really loved getting our china as shower and wedding gifts, and when our wedding was over, we only needed to buy a few pieces to complete our collection, and we had no problem using the rest of our money to buy stuff we WOULD buy ourselves, like serving dishes and new drinking glasses.
I really hate giving cash because it just seems so impersonal. I mean, I totally did NOT mind receiving it at our wedding, but yeah, not a fan of giving it.
I either buy of the registry or give money - with a few exceptions for some very close friends. (E.g., I bought my MOH a lamp from a local potter that I knew she'd been wanting and she already had a bunch of his pottery so I knew it would match their decor - but that is a RARE exception).
It depends on how well I know the couple. If not that well, I buy off the registry. If I know them well, AND have an idea for something else I am sure they will really like, I don't use the registry. I've also not used the registry before because there was nothing on it I could afford!
I always give off the registry for the shower and give cash at the wedding. I think that's a regional thing though. I'm from the northeast and my registry was basically completely wiped out after my shower. We ended up adding some things for the few people who did want to give phycial gifts at the wedding. I never buy gifts not on the registry.. but my Mom is a big fan of that.
For the shower, I go off the registry and usually give money for the wedding.
9 times out of 10, im picking from the registery...the couple has taken the time to choose these items for their new life together! the only time i didnt was when my one good friend who is married told me they purposely chose REALLY expensive gifts at Macy's in order to get mostly money....lol. then, she got money! hehe.
It depends on the person. If I am close to someone, I make a personal gift for them. If I'm not, I buy from the registry.
I wouldn't worry too much about the gifts not being bought yet. Some people wait until right before the wedding to purchase them and some people like to send them afterward.
I have never been to a wedding I wasnt in- and since I used to work at a kitchen store i helped 3 out of 4 of them register! I like to get people Kyocera ceramic knives. once you have used them you understand, and a lot of stores skip mentioning how nice it is to add ceramic to a knife regisrty- and most other guests dont like to buy knives because it is expensive and small and not "fun" but believe me they are awesome for the couple to own.
Thank you hive for your insight! I guess my Fiancee's side must think they know us really well to buy us personal gifts or something. but some have not been all that personal, like kettles, kitchen cloths, platters! only really personal things which i totally wasn't expecting were, decor items. like lanterns for our patio, a decorative watering can, a blue vase! i know i should be truely greatful and i am, but its hard not to get frusterated. :-(
@vistagirl, i hope that we don't get suprise knives! i'm chinese and giving knives is a bad omen which we never do. i had to explain that to the lady when we were registering!
@ms Purple- I wouldnt give them to someone I didn't really know but like I said the only weddings i have gone to were my best friends and I was in them! That is good to know though!
I've been to 6 weddings in my life where I've paid for gifts myself, and every single time I've purchased gifts off of the registry. Twice I gave additional, non-registry items on top of the gifts. One time I bought a friend some beautiful, lacy napkins to go with these silver beaded napkin rings she'd registered for, because they just struck me as something she'd like, and she hadn't registered for any linens at all. She loved them! The second time, I bought my cousin a girly, fun martini shaker and a book of cocktail recipes to go with a pair of Vera Wang martini glasses she'd requested, and she really adored the whole package.
I think if you have the means to buy the couple exactly what they want, you should go for it! Otherwise, money and gift cards are perfectly acceptable. I'd be very wary of buying the couple something they didn't register for unless you knew they wanted/needed it.
Technically, I get something off the registry, but not from that particular store. Usually, what I tend to do is take a look at the registry and see what I can purchase online. I'll choose the same exact item, but purchased on Amazon.com, etc., If there isn't anything that I can purchase online, or what's available is more than I want to spend, then I give a monetary gift.
I always buy off the registry for the wedding. For friends, I usually don't use the registry for the shower gift and pick something for them personally.
I like the idea of buying something religious, like a beautiful cross... So, I choose it myself...
@YSQueen: doesn't that mean the couple could get two of the same thing? Like they register for item X at shop Y. You go and buy item X from shop A, and another guest buys it from the registry? I have never quite understood this although I can understand using the registry to get a sense of their style (e.g. they like grey/they cook a lot).
My mother hates registries as a guest and never uses them. I *love* them and am always so pleased when there is one. Of course she ignored ours and got us a round table cloth for our dining table which has now been replaced with a much larger rectangular one. We have always planned on updating our dining suite, which she would have known if she'd asked (or looked at the registry). I hate that I'll never use my own mother's wedding gift! I know it's the "thought" that counts but sometimes there doesn't appear to be much thought put into it! Grrr.
I do registry or cash. Why buy off registry? There is a good chance they already have it! Obviously, you can add a personal touch to your gift too!
Always. I'm usually one of the first people to give any couple a gift. I buy early, so I can choose what I'd like to give them, based on my current financial situation, our relationship, etc.
i always buy off the registry because it's a whole lot easier for me. then i don't have to rack my brain for something they'll like. they did all the work for me! okay, i'm more lazy than anything else. but i did buy off-registry once but that was for my bestie's wedding and i know both her and her hubby well. i ended up picking up an item she had been talking about getting but didn't register for
I like to buy something affordable from the registry and pair it with a small gift that is more personal and off registry. My husband and I usually cannot afford to spend much, so we've done things like buy a few of the small kitchen utensils and pair them with a pan that wasn't from the registry. Or, for another wedding, the couple only registered for things we couldn't afford, so we found a cute wedding album from Thungs Remembered and engraved it with their names and wedding date.
Now that the wedding is over, i am happy to report back that we only received TWO non registry gifts! all other gifts came from our registry list and the whole registry ended up being bought! :-) thanks for all the insight ladies
I go for their registry. It's things that they want/need so I think it's the safest route for us to go.
I always buy off of the couple's registry - I would hate to get them a gift that they have no place for, doesn't match their chosen decor, a duplicate of something they already have, or is simply not of use to them.
I'm just not a fan of buying gifts that aren't on a registry.
Registry. & now, after being married I know how nice it is to get things from registries. We got 2 waffle makers, 1 from the registry & 1 "mystery" store & it took us awhile to figure out where it came from. It just makes things easier in case you need to return something if you get multiple things.
However, for really close friends I usually get them something more personalized.
Always. I never give cash gifts for any occasion, nor does anyone I know. I also have never come across any couple who did not have a registry. But the registry is in place so that the couple does not receive "random" gifts that folks pick out on their own that the couple doesn't want, doesn't need and cannot return anywhere.
I've always bought off the registry, but some of my friends differ wildly in opinion on this, and I think it depends on your region/family/culture/country. My friends from NY and NJ would be horrified to give anything other than large cash gifts. My friends from SC, FL, and CA would be horrified to give anything but registry items. And many of my artistic friends give unique, homemade gifts because they think registry items and money are ghastly and impersonal. So as you can see, everyone is going to have their own gift-giving style.
I buy off the registry unless I am certian there is something that they would like that is not on there. There is a point to a registry. It is a list of items that you would like to have. Unless you are giving cash there is no reason not to go off the registry. I have had friends who have gotten gifts not on their registry and have had to sell it for cheap at a yard sale. Basically no benifit to them.
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