Do you buy the bride a gift as a member of the bridal party?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Do I buy her a gift?
    Yes : (86 votes)
    87 %
    No : (13 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4441 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @annabelle2412:  My suggestion is to just get her something smaller.  When my BFF got engaged I started putting away money and when her wedding day came she got what was left in that account, which wasn’t much because I spent A LOT on the dress, shoes and festivities.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8426 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @annabelle2412:  I think it depends on the bride.  My bridesmaids only had to pay for their travel expenses (accommodations, jewelry, etc., were all provided/paid for by me) and I spent about $100 on gifts for them.  I told them not to get me any gifts because their flight was about $400.  My other friend is getting married and I’m her MOH and I don’t plan on getting her a gift, however, I am making her invites (I’m paying for materials), jewelry, cake topper and favors.

    Post # 5
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Up to you.  I don’t think a gift is required though.

    Post # 6
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Just because people are in the wedding party doesn’t mean they don’t need to buy a gift and just because she didn’t get you anything doesn’t mean you shouldn’t not get her anything.

    Post # 7
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @annabelle2412:  If she didn’t buy you one and you have already contributed a lot to wedding events, then I would pass on buying a gift. Being in the wedding is your gift, which is the same gift she gave you.

    Post # 8
    Member
    957 posts
    Busy bee

    @annabelle2412:  You were very generous for telling your bridesmaids that a gift was not necessary, and for also trying to limit their costs. However, it’s expected that when you accept to being a bridesmaid there will be expenses. When I accept to being a bridesmaid, I feel like it’s best to expect the worst case scenario: Paying for dress, shows, hair, makeup, nails, throwing a shower, giving a shower gift, bachlorette party (possible gift here too), travel costs and wedding gift. It’s up to the bride if she wants to limit these costs if she can, but sometimes it’s just not financially possible. 

    That being said, you need to get her a gift. She’s getting married and the day is about her. It doesn’t have to be a big gift or an expensive one, but I think it needs to be something. 

    I don’t believe that paying for your dress, helping throw the shower, or spending money on “wedding festivities” is a gift at all. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    364 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @annabelle2412:  Yes, I think that you should get the bride a gift, but a smaller gift.  Being a bridesmaid is very expensive and I don’t think any bride would expect a big gift from any bridesmaid of hers. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Honestly, if I got my friend a birthday gift and she didn’t get me one, I wouldn’t stop getting her gifts. I don’t agree with the whole if you rub my back I’ll rub yours.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    3596 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Yes but to a limit. I’m not going to buy a bridal shower gift, a wedding gift, and that not even counting all the money that it cost to be in a wedding party.

    I think if you have a friend buy a dress, and pay all of the cost associated in being a part of someone elses big day, the bride really doesn’t have a leg to stand on, on being pissed because they didn’t get an extra gift on top of that.

    After bride and groom and family, they spend the most money to attend your weddng.

    Post # 13
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee

    @annabelle2412:  For my first wedding, only a couple girls got me gifts.  But they didn’t have to pay for much for the wedding.  For my BFF’s wedding, I paid ~$1200 for her shower and two bachelorette parties, plus clothing for the wedding.  So I did NOT get her a gift.  Other girls did.

    Post # 15
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    One of my maids gave me all her pregnancy books (which was GREAT), and the other gave me the standmixer she got as a gift like 5 years ago but NEVER used!

    I thought they were awesome! I didn’t want my maids spending anything on me.

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