- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
We do not live together and have totally different tastes - he loves modern/contemporary and hates my casual comfy style almost as much as I hate his style.....j/k (well, maybe not). So we are going to have to find a happy medium - will register for stuff that both of us can live with.
But, cash is always good!
As someone who didn't receive many gifts at all, I really just wanted cards. I wanted our wedding to be acknowledged - and it just wasn't. Gifts? I would have been happy with anything or nothing - just please, please a card...
I'm still a little upset, obviously :-)
We absolutely must get cash. We're traveling across continents on a plane to a place with different plugs, different voltage, different bed sizes, and different stores ...we cannot get any gifts because we can't bring them back home.
The nice thing about marrying someone eight years older is that they have all the home necessities. And I already have a full set of bedroom furniture, dishes, towels, blankets, cleaning supplies, hundreds of books...so aside from some big ticket items (sewing machine, new vacuum, KitchenAid mixer), I don't care if they bring a card, cash, or gift!
I would never say it, but I would be a little disappointed if people got us stuff that wasn't on the registry/cash. I'm sure some gifts like that would be very nice, but I'm afraid most of them would not be to our style or taste. Then we would end up boxing them up somewhere or giving them away, and I would feel guilty that someone spent money on us and we weren't using the item. If they really did get us something we loved then that would be fine, but honestly I would rather someone give us a card and their well-wishes than give us something that we didn't like and would have to feel guilty about, stash away in a closet, and pull out once a year when whoever it was comes to visit or something.
Most people did get us things off the registry or cash which was what we were hoping for. We had a house before we got married so we only needed specific things and didn't need all the normal things that people register for.
For us, registering took forever and was exhausting. Therefore, I'd somewhat prefer that people stick to getting the stuff we've asked for. However, I know that one of my friends has a tradition of giving the couple a really fancy framed copy of their invitation, with stained glass around the edges, incorporating their wedding colors, and I'm looking forward to seeing what she comes up with for us. Basically, I would love to get either registry gifts/cash, or personalized handmade items.
I think that most of us care to some extent, that's why we registered. :) I also think it helps the guests, tbh. (Well, not if they're all super super expensive, but if they're at all price-points, yeah).
I really hope people just buy off the registry. We already live together and will be moving into our new house (currently in an apartment) over a year before our wedding. We already have most things we need, so will be registering for upgraded stuff or fun stuff. I really don't want to get things we already have or things we do not need or like.
That being said I know it will likely happen, and it won't be the end of the world. I mostly just want people to show up since most of them will have to travel!
Im hoping that most give us gifts off of the registry. My family is very traditional and Im actually foreign and giving cash in my culture isnt an option...it is considered rude! If people get me stuff that arent on the registry I will be fine with that...
i think it depends. if it's an awesome gift off of the registry, then i'll be excited about it. if not, then not so much. i want gifts from my registry, that's why i registered for them, i need them. and of course, i also wouldn't mind cash. i need that too!
We'll need really stupid basics like a full set of every day dishes, silverware, and glasses, but honestly, it would be SO much easier for everyone to get us gift cards. We'll be moving right after the wedding (like, the week after...) and to have to move all that extra stuff would be a pain. We're luck to have alot of people love us, but man...
I didn't mind getting gifts that were not on our registry, however I did return some of them. For example, someone bought us a set of pans that we didn't register for, because we didn't need them. I just wish that if guests are going to buy off registry, they would look to see what you DID register for so they don't buy something you obv don't need. I was greatful for their sentiment though, that at least they got us something, you know? With the wedding gifts, it really was the thought that counts.
Cheerful: I am right there w/you about the cards though. So many ppl showed up to our wedding & didn't even give us a card, and that kind of hurt my feelings. It was like they didn't even think enough of us to go to Walgreens and get a card or something.
Most of our gifts were registry gifts, which is what we were hoping for... we would have been fine with good friends going off-registry, since they know our tastes, lifestyle, preferences, etc. As it turned out, they *knew* we'd registered for things we wanted and needed, and that's what they gave us. Lots of parents' friends, distant relatives, etc. went off-registry, and while the things they chose were lovely, there just isn't space for a lot of the big serving pieces, vases, etc. in our tiny Manhattan apartment... 
While I'm looking forward to registering, I will be REALLY upset if we get lots of vouchers -- I absolutely hate getting gift vouchers or gift cards at any time, because they imply to me that people haven't been bothered to put thought into it and have just gone for an easy, no-thought-required option. I would never dream of giving anyone a gift voucher or gift card for a birthday or Christmas present, let alone a wedding present.
We're not having a huge wedding, and our gift list will help people out who don't feel they know us well enough to choose a gift. But honestly, if we get a lot of vouchers, I think I'll cry.
@wonderlanded: It's fine not to like gift cards/vouchers, but don't take it personally if people give them to you. It's not usually that they are being thoughtless, but rather that they are really concerend that you get what you want. Try not to be insulted, many people may only be trying to get you something good, but lack confidence in their gift giving skills...
@wonderlanded: Those gift cards can be really helpful for getting yourself the pricier items - we used our gift cards to get a nice cookware set that no individual guest could have (or should have!) purchased on their own... I think sometimes gift cards can be a thoughtful gift, especially for people setting up a home - they let you get what you actually need the most!
We would really prefer gift cards or cash but because we both know family and friends who HAVE to have a physical gift to give on the wedding day, we also registered. We filled our registry with all price points (the least expensive thing is $2 and the most expensive is $600) and lots of fun things- board and video games (we own 4 video game systems!), camping gear, movies, books, power tools. There are trditional things on there as well- dishes, small applicances, kitchen wares, bedding, etc. but since we plan to move across the country within a year of the wedding we are spreading the word that we would really, truly, honestly prefer cash/gift cards. I LOVE physical presents and the idea of getting apile from the wedding that I get to open is joyful (I love giving gifts more then receiving!), but the idea of having to haul it all across country with us and find room in a grad-school sized budget apartment for it all is enough to make me panic.
I cared. That's why you register in the first place. I don't need MORE junk than what I have--I didn't register for a toaster because I HAVE ONE. If you buy me a toaster, well, I'm going to return it. I feel like some of my guests wasted their money by buying us something we do not need and/or do not like. It's kind of, well...wasteful on their part to waste money like that. And yes, I see it as wasting money if you buy a gift for someone that they don't need and/or really dislike. Particularly i'm speaking of guests that i've never met, so really, they of all people should've stuck to our registry.
"Country charm" is by no means a favorite decor style of mine, yet I received a solid handful of items in this theme. Just check out the magazine Southern Living--it's full of "charming" items that are just not my thing. They went into the trash because I don't keep things out of guilt and I refuse to decorate with things that don't fit my taste. Maybe it's ungrateful to an extent, but I also think it's inconsiderate to go SO FAR OFF someone's registry. I mean, really! We're talking a few states over....=]
So, yes, I cared.
I hope we're getting gifts off a registry and/or cash. Fi and I have lived together a year but we have cheap, college student stuff - mismatched plates, dingy silverware - so it will be nice to have some nicer things to match our new married lifestyle!! Plus.. I'm really hoping some people will pitch in for a kitchen aid mixer, haha! :)
I cared. We were hoping for cash as we had a destination wedding and could barely fit all our wedding decor, etc in the car. Adding gifts on the way home would have been a nightmare. Plus we were paying for quite a bit of the wedding and honeymoon on our own and we planned on using cash gifts to help us stay out of debt. I wouldn't have minded gifts, and we did get a couple that we love, but our preference was definitely cash.
Registries are awesome for getting the things you need, but I don't think I'll mind if guests go off-registry. When I've seen people do that at weddings I've been to, it's usually something super sweet and personal, like a hand-stitched blanket from their great-grandma, or a portrait of the couple, things like that. Plus, those things will be a surprise, and presents (imo at least,) are much more fun when the person doesn't know what they're getting :D
Thanks for the alternate view on gift cards -- but as we own our own home, which is full of the basics, and we'll be registering, I'll admit that I don't really understand the 'I wasn't sure what to get you' argument. Surely that's the whole point of having a registry -- to help out those who aren't sure what you want/need?
Personally, I'd rather get no gift than a voucher, even . Oh, I'll be gracious about it, as I am when I get them for birthdays and what not -- but I won't be thrilled about it. I'd much rather guests went off-registry.
We already have everything we need but we would really like to replace the chipped, cracked and discolored dishes (received them as 1st wedding gift and they were terrible). I'd also really love to get the KitchenAid. Other than that, I don't care so much about gifts, but his Dad has a habit of buying completely useless and ridiculous gifts (ex: plug-in, electric ice cream scoop that never worked, quesadilla maker) so I hope he sticks to the registry!
I spent a ton of time picking out our registries - and since our wedding isn't for another 9 months we've even bought some stuff of our own registry because we couldn't wait, so I really hope guests will turn to our registries for gifts! I honestly don't understand when guests go off-registry for stuff like vases and household items - I mean, why not just get the specific thing the couple wants instead of picking out the one you want? The few times I went off-registry for a wedding gift was when I waited too long to get them a gift and there was nothing left on the registries, so I got them stuff from the same store that I thought went with what they wanted, but could return if they didn't like it. Personal stuff like handmade items are cool though :)
I wouldn't mind someone going off my registry as long as they truly disliked registries and were being thoughtful with the gift. I would mind if they went off the registry and bought the first thing they saw just to buy 'something'. So I guess it's the thought that counts for me. Of course, I prefer cash - we are saving for a down payment and have lots of 'stuff' already.
i'd prefer to receive gifts from my registry (if we have one) but only because we already have a lot of things since we live together, but we need things like plastic cups for the kids, i'd love a formal dinnerware and formal stemware. also sheets, towels little stuff like that that we won't buy for ourselves or haven't bought yet. but it won't be anything major. oddly enough i'd LOVE picture frames etc or a picture frame hanging set to hang pictures of us and the kids etc.... especially because in lieu of traditional engagement portraits i want family portraits, but i only want frames i choose (dark espresso frames or chrome) nothing else no crystal or strange looking ones at all thanks...
@ ejs4y8 - SO TRUE!! It's inconsiderate of people to not abide by a couple's registry. I still don't get how some guests don't underrstand that. I, too, care about what we get for our wedding. My fiance and I already live together so we pretty much have everything we need. We are unsure of where we will be living after the wedding, so we'd rather just receive cash than a bunch of stuff we don't need and would have to pack up and take with us as we move. Unfortunately, how do you express to your guests that you "care about what gifts they give you" and that you "want specific things" ?? My friend made a huge mistake by telling everyone she didn't care what gifts they got her. People ended up gifting her with dollar store and garage sale items (I'm not even kidding.) One of the gifts she got was an old scratched-up tea set that was all dusty and obviously used! How do you express to your guests that you'd prefer specific gifts?
We delibrately asked for NO gifts as we combined two household and have been throwing stuff away because we have way too much crap! Like we had 4 blenders! A few people gave us gifts anyway and one was promptly re-gifted and the others given to Salvation Army. Kept the money though 
Myself, I am very anti-registry. I have yet to give anyone a gift from a registry, I won't even look at them.
Well, we're registering so I guess that means we care at least a little bit. To be honest, I'd probably be a little annoyed getting really random stuff that we'd never use, but I don't focus much on the gifts. If people get me something, awesome - if not, it's not a big deal to me.
I definitely care. We are hoping for a pretty even split of cash and gifts from our registry. We're young and just moving in together so we would really appreciate household basics, and we also are looking forward to setting up an emergency fund with our wedding cash gifts. I have to admit I'll be pretty disappointed if we get, like, a ceramic bird or something instead of a household item we could really use, or money that we also could really use. I know it sounds selfish, but I genuinely hope to love and appreciate all my gifts! It's very awkward to receive a gift you don't like - I always feel bad because I know they spent money on it, and they honestly shouldn't have!
you can't help what you really want!!
but i will of course be happy i got a gift in the first place!!!
I just want to be able to spend the day with the people I love. They're the ones that made the day possible in the first place!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Brielle | 44 |
| ndreighton | 32 |
 vorpalette |
29 |
| caseyleigh10 | 26 |
| les105 | 24 |
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| fishbone | 23 |
| lionskitty | 22 |
| SouthernGirl | 21 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| j_jaye | 2 |
| Bichon Frise | 2 |
| les105 | 2 |
| happyface |
2 |
| Lee_Ann | 1 |
| MsPanda | 1 |
| Fall_In_Love22 | 1 |
| TheLionQueen | 1 |
| eagle | 1 |
| canadianplum | 1 |
My friend said she didn't care what gifts she got at her wedding, but she admitted to me that she was a bit disappointed in the people who didn't give her cash, and even more so at the people gave her gifts that weren't on her registry. I know a lot of couples say they don't care about what gifts they get, but most of them really do. How do you feel?