Post # 1
There have been a few stripper thread revivals, and it got me thinking. I have told FH that, given some problems with porn in the past (which we worked very hard to get through together), I am not okay with strippers or strip clubs, period. Personally, I think it’s inappropriate and a crappy way to “celebrate” your upcoming marriage. (I’m NOT saying that anyone who is okay with strippers is a bad person, so please don’t bring that argument in! To each her own.)
I’m wondering, though, how his best man will react when FH tells him “no strippers,” since he likes strip clubs and wants to throw a stripper bach party. But one of the groomsmen will only be 17, and the other isn’t able to legally drink (he’ll be 19). I hope I don’t come across as the “nagging bitchwife,” and have told FH that he needs to tell BM that this is our decision (we did come to an agreement on it).
If you set limits (or didn’t), are you worried about how your FH’s guys will view the choice? Does it bother you if they think you’re uptight or something? And for the married Bees, did they make a big deal of it at all?
Just curious! 🙂
Post # 3
I feel like the only judgement I have gotten on this issue is from this website, honestly. I am completely okay with him going to stripclubs. I dont even care if he gets a lap dance. I feel like I am one of the only people on here who is alright with this issue and I have gotten attacked in the past for it. In real life, people I know are just like… “Oh, alright”.
I feel this way because I know a lot of strippers. I know how these girls think. I know that they have no interest in FI as a person, he’s a client. It’s a job. It’s business. In the end, he’s coming home to me…. I just dont see the big deal.
Post # 4
We don’t receive any judgement because people know how we are. They know we aren’t the type to go to clubs, go to strip clubs, drink, etc. If anyone would try to judge us, our friends would probably attack them. lol
Post # 5
It’s weird, I honestly was never phazed by the idea of DH going to strip clubs on his bachelor party and I was actually surprised to come on this site and hear the opinion that I’m possibly doing something wrong by not caring. So that’s the only backlash I’ve received for my decision.
My DH went to a friends bachelor party years ago and there were no strippers out of respect for the bride who was really against it. I heard about that and thought it was really sweet of all the guys to respect her wishes like that. I agree, to each her own and everyone else can stuff it!
Post # 6
It’s weird, because I’d be okay with it if I went with him. But I also know his best man would probably buy him a lap dance, etc. and he looks up to him a lot–BM is his older brother (married with a child but still in favor of strip clubs)–so it’d put him in a sticky situation.
Post # 7
I told my hubby he can go to a strip club, but no lap dance. He decided not to go at all… since he knew the guys would want to buy him a lap dance and wouldn’t take no. They went bar hopping.
I never heard anything from any of the guys involved, so I don’t really know how they feel. I know that a few guys aren’t strip club types, so they were probably happy. His bm is his brother, who’s married with a kid, so I think he’s done with strip clubs too. Now that I’m thinking about it, I doubt they really cared either way.
Post # 8
My sentiments are with @zippylef.
Post # 9
My FI can do whatever he wants for his party. He is excited about his party but no official plans were made yet. Theyre talking about vegas. He has never been to a strip club. But if you dont want strippers and your FI is okay with who cares what his best man thinks. There are plenty of fun things guys can do together.
Post # 10
I suggested paintballing and he was like “HELL YES!” So hopefully they’ll do something sort of offbeat so I won’t have to worry about the possibility of drunk driving or whatever. Neither of us are really into drinking, either, so I’m sure whatever they do will be interesting!
And now I wanna try paintballing…
Post # 11
I have no problem with strip clubs and I have gone with DH and friends. I can see where some women have issues with it but I am totally comfortable letting my DH go with or without me. And when we do go I am usually the only girl in our group and I am the one who gets all the lap dances! (I don’t buy them, DH and our friends like to buy them for me).
And for DH’s bachelor party it was his best man that didn’t want to go to a strip club so they ended up going to a baseball game.
Post # 12
I told my husband that he could go to a strip club but there could be no touching including no lap dances. He ended up going to Vegas for 4 days which actually upset more than if he had just gone to a strip club! He didnt end up going to a strip club….just getting in shenanigans and spending a LOT of our money!
Post # 13
I feel the same way and have know some myself. Ditto on your response.
Post # 14
I’m with stephinPA and zippylef – I honestly have no problem with it (just no back rooms / hotel rooms but lap dances are totally fine). I had never seen backlash against that opinion/choice until I came to this site!
Post # 15
FI and I agreed 6 years ago (when we first started dating) that neither of us would go to a strip club or be around anything along those lines. Ironically, he passed up the opportunity to go to a strip club the night he officially asked me to be his girlfriend :-D. People around me have told me that I am being rediculous by not allowing my FI to go to a strip club, but he really has no desire to go. I don’t either, but then again, we are both more old fashioned as a couple lol. We were each other’s first real kiss and etc. I do not think that my dislike of strip clubs makes me a bad FI, and his dislike of me going to strip clubs makes him a bad FI. We have a mutual agreement on it. I had some of my friends ask me to go to a strip club with them and I explained everything. They could not understand at all lol. I think we are fine the way we are :-).
Post # 16
I LOVE our best man. He’s a radio personality who shared a manager with Howard Stern. They’ll have strippers on the show, they can be really vulgar always asking ladies about the proportions etc… One day they were discussing bachelor parties. My FI texted in joking about something because he knows our BM is well aware of the fact that we both are anti stripper. On air, our BM went off on this whole tangent about how bachelor parties need to be about the groom and what kind of guy he is. If he’s into strippers, then sure, if that’s what he wants… but in my FI’s case, that’s not his deal so they shouldn’t be made part of it.
In my honest opinion, if “friends” around you can’t accept the no-stripper policy they’re not true friends.