Post # 1
I’m approaching my second Valentines Day with my SO and I have a chip on my shoulder because last year (my first VDay ever with a serious boyfriend!) was a huge, glaring disappointment. He vehemently insisted that he “didn’t do” Valentines Day, that it’s a stupid, commercialized holiday, and it’s for lazy people to be nicer to their SO for one day in a year, when he treats me special year-round. He said that if it was so important to me, we can pick any arbitrary day in the year, say 6 months later on August 14th, and celebrate Valentines Day then. We ended up watching 2 back to back games of Valentines Day at his apartment and I was NOT a happy camper.
When things bother me, I’m slow to react. I get an unhappy feeling in my gut that I stew on, before I can articulate clearly and in detail as to why it bothers me. So I ended up expressing my displeasure later, and also complaining to two of his best friends (who are girls) right in front of him so that they could tell him off for me and reinforce that such a transgression should never be made again. 😛 One of them cleverly pointed out that the notion of picking another day is stupid because that’s when it happens – just like we wouldn’t celebrate his March birthday in September.
Do you celebrate Valentines Day with your SO? What are both your attitudes about it?
Post # 3
we don’t celebrate it. i agree with your SO and think it’s more of an inconvenience than anything. and i don’t think it’s really fair that guys are expected to lavish gifts and affection on women. if Vday is important to you, why don’t YOU plan something fun and exciting?
Post # 4
We both don’t care much, but I’ll always make the effort to get him a card. He usually forgets about it, but he has a stash of pre-bought cards so he goes through it and writes me a sweet note.
As long as he makes the effort to celebrate anniversaries I don’t really care about Valentines Day…
Post # 5
I don’t really fit into your poll. We do “recognize” Valentine’s Day, but it’s not like we go all out and make a huge production of it. I guess I’d fit into the “Yes, we’re both into it.” because he usually buys me flowers at some point during that week and we say Happy Valentine’s Day to each other on the day of, but that’s about it…
I like your SO’s idea better of choosing your own Valentine’s Day to celebrate – and actually, I think I’d like it more if DH just surprised me with something romantic on some random day of the year…
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
We don’t celebrate it either. If you want romance of Valentine’s day maybe treat your guy to something special? He’ll never see it coming.
Post # 7
@ChicFoodist: lol i agree with your SO
I told DH its gives women an excuse to be mad at their DHs, SOs for “forgetting” its Vday.
We don’t need a holiday to celebrate how much we love eachother, it should be done on a regular basis.
Post # 8
@mu_t: & @FutureDrAtkins: Oh, he’s absolutely expected to lavish affection on me year-round just like I do for him – the gift part is not necessary. And I totally would’ve planned something, but he was not interested in celebrating at all because the whole concept is so lame to him. *eye roll*
Post # 9
and can I also note, to go out to a restaurant is a joke, the wait, the service, the food, they will all suck bc its Vday!
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
We celebrate in the sense that we take the opportunity to go out eat & what not. We don’t go all out for gifts or the fanciest dinner ever or anything, but we are pretty lovely dovey on the other 364 days so why not on Feb. 14th too?
Post # 11
We don’t celebrate it. We might buy chocolate in discount the day after but that’s all. 😛
Post # 12
@ChicFoodist: We usually don’t do the whole box of chocolates, flowers, type of stuff but we do usually go out to a nice dinner or away for that weekend. This year since Valentines falls on a Fri we are going to Biloxi for the weekend…..we love to travel so anytime we can take a get away we do!
Post # 13
@Daizy914: See, this would be a much more convincing argument for me! If he said, “Sweetheart, the food and service will be subpar anyway because the restaurants will be overwhelmed on that one night – let’s go out the next day/week after instead” I would’ve been much more receptive. “No, it’s lame and I don’t do Valentines Day” is not nearly as compelling.
Post # 14
I said only one of us is in it and the other obliges. Me being the one who likes it, and him obliging. I don’t like it to the point where we go all out. We just get each other something small and spend time together at home.
Post # 15
@ChicFoodist: We don’t care. We might splurge on a fancier meal to make at home, but we don’t get all dressed up and go out or get gifts or anything. We treat each other lovingly other days out of the year with gifts and special dinners.
Post # 16
We have a very nice dinner at home and get drunk on wine. But, that’s basically every weekend at our house, so it’s not anything out of the ordinary. We probably drop more $$$ on the dinner ingredients than normal, maybe a nicer bottle of wine. But we certainly don’t exchange gifts.