Do you complain to your SO to your friends?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you complain or bad mouth your SO to friends?
    Yes, I do. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    No, I would never : (42 votes)
    33 %
    Yes, but only when I really need advice. : (29 votes)
    23 %
    Yes I complain about him but not bad-mouth : (31 votes)
    24 %
    Yes, I complain and bad mouth him. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Yes, I have done both in the past but I don't anymore. : (9 votes)
    7 %
    Never ever have, never ever will. : (15 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    8677 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    If I need advice about something, I ask my best friend.

    Other than that, I don’t complain about him.

    Post # 4
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Nope. Any issues we may encounter are private matters to be dealt with entirely within the bounds of our relationship. If we cannot work it out between the two of us, that is what professional counselors are for.

    Post # 5
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Sometimes, yes. I do when I need advice but I would be lying if I said I never just complained about him to her just to vent, it’s human nature. And it’s not anything I wouldn’t say to his face. But with that being said I don’t bad mouth him to anyone. I think there is a different in complaining and bad mouthing. 


    Post # 8
    5222 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I do not seek advice from friends and especially not family. However; my sister and  are extremely close, and she is very close with DH– so she knows us and our relationship, when I am aggravated or pissed, she generally can pick up on it with a knowing nod. She is the only person I would trust to divulge personal information to.

    Post # 9
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I may consult my best friend if I truly need to vent or need advice. She’s it, really. I don’t openly complain, and I certainly don’t badmouth him.

    I think it’s rather normal for women to have conversations about minor things, like him not putting his laundry in the basket but leaving it out, he’s terrible at remembering birthdays or anniversaries, etc. But when women say that it shouldn’t be out of contempt. I really just laugh and say, oh yeah, that’s FI, silly man!

    True complaints? Nope, I don’t just up and share.

    Post # 10
    9526 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think it’s a matter of degree. I might occasionally complain about him not doing the dishes, or something minor like that. But I never complain about big stuff, because I honestly don’t have any big complaints. I like to use the rule (with everyone, not just my husband) that I never say something that I would be embarassed if the person heard me say it. I find this to be a good way to stay respectful of everyone.

    Post # 11
    4540 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

    Only to one friend, and only, “I wish he would do more laundry”-type complaints… the things you kind of roll your eyes and laugh about. 

    Post # 12
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    He doesn’t usually give me a reason to, but if I want to talk about something then I have one friend I talk to about stuff like that. She bitches about her SO to me all the time, and we are all really good friends with each other (her SO is my FI’s best friend, she’s my best friend, FI is her friend and I am friends with her SO), so I’m not worried that she’s going to hate him or anything, especially considering he looks like a saint compared to her SO. 

    Post # 13
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @JenGirl:  Exactly. I have no big complaints and also wouldn’t say something to my friend that I wouldn’t say to him.

    Post # 14
    457 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I complained about him in a story-telling making conversation sense, and moreso to women who also complain a lot. (One of my co-workers, I swear 80% of what comes out of her mouth is a complaint about something). But I have read that one shouldn’t complain about their SO, especially to someone else who also has an SO or is married, because it could hurt their relationship as well by letting them think it’s okay to complain about your SO. But I’ve been actively trying to not do that so much. I’ve been trying to talk more positively of him. It’s very much a challenge, because I’m the type who notices everyone’s flaws. It took me a long time to even get a boyfriend because of that. lol

    Post # 16
    5432 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    I only complain about little things that you would laugh about and get over really quickly like “ugh he forgot to cut the grass two days in a row”. I wouldn’t actually complain, because any relationship problems are private and in between us. I think complaining a lot can really backfire – even if it’s just harmless venting.


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