Post # 1
I need to add in a disclaimer first. This individual has verbally corrected people in conversation for using “that’s gay” when they mean “that’s stupid.”
Anyways, we’re working on this huge, frustrating project and via text message, she vented “this is SO retarded!” I thought that was weird, for someone who seems to strive to be non-offensive in other contexts. Later in the afternoon, we were working face-to-face and she said it again.
I guess I’m wondering if I should speak up and tell her that offends me. I know it is a relatively common phrase, but it is unprofessional and offensive.
Post # 3
I speak up all the time. If you don’t you are condoning their behavior.
Post # 4
I would say something – first because you find it offensive and it IS politically incorrect and unprofessional and second (a much less important reason) just out of principal because she would say it to you.
Post # 5
I wouldnt. There are tons of things that I hear that I dont like, but there is no way Im going to tell everyone what I think. They would just look at me and think Im a moron or something.
Just let it go.
Post # 6
I normally don’t say anything unless it’s someone very close to me. I don’t need unnecessary drama or arguments; most people don’t like to be corrected.
Post # 7
If she corrects others, then I think you should, especially if you do find it offensive.
Post # 8
@AubByAub: That was my thought. If she’s corrected others, I should kindly point out her error.
Post # 9
I don’t correct people, maybe I should…
Post # 10
I choose not to use those phrases, but I don’t correct people when they do…
Post # 11
I would. The PPs all listed good reasons why:
1- it’s unkind/rude/hurtful/wrong/etc
2- this cowork has said it various times now (if it was one time, I’d make one of my ‘uh, did you really just say that?’ faces, but 2+ I’d speak up)
3- this coworker has corrected the use of other inappropriate comments, so they presumably know better
4- I have a handicapped relative, so I speak up every time, as it’s something that really bugs me, not just the general ‘that is rude’ feeling.
Post # 12
I feel VERY strongly about the R word in particular (I’m a special ed teacher), so I correct people all the time. Generally not complete strangers, but if I’ve met them more than one time and they say it, I correct them. My FI knows my feelings about it, and it’s really cute when he corrects his friends/acquaintances in my presence. I’ve been calling people out on the R word, “that’s gay”, etc since high school… it just bothers me a lot.
Post # 13
I’ve actually told a VERY good friend “Would you please stop saying ‘retarded’ in front of my daughter and I?” Given the fact that she knows my daughter is autistic I was stunned I even had to address it.
I know it surprised her because I have a pretty lax attitude about curse words and I’m definitely not all PC all the time, but I draw the line when I feel I need to.
Post # 14
If it bugs you, you have every right to tell her so! Just do so in a non-confrontational manner. I don’t think she’ll get angry at you, if anything she’ll feel embarrassed that she said something that offended you.
Post # 15
@imageeksowhat: I think that was my problem in the moment. I definitely wanted to say something, I just second guessed myself because I didn’t want to be confrontational or make her defensive.
Post # 16
It’s bad manners to bring up somebody’s faults, but in this case I would kindly say something. I’m sure it’s just a bad habit for her that she needs to grow out of.