Post # 1
Your opinion ladies please. If you’ve been waiting for 8 years for “that” question, is it horrible to think that you deserve a bigger ring? Or would that make me selfish?
Let me explain a little. No big wedding is wanted, the ceremony would be done during a yearly vacation in Mexico; if all goes as planned (can you hear me God, it’s anonabon)lol
His ring would be equally as lovely; my thought was platinum with diamonds of some sort.
So, is it just horrible to want that bigger ring? We’ve spent these 8 years saving and building our careers, and I wanted the rings to almost be a statement of that.
Post # 3
I don’t necessarily think that you are selfish for wanting a bigger ring, I mean you have been with this guy for 8 years! But I wouldn’t say you deserve it either. Not that you are a bad person or anything, but does the size of ring really represent the effort and love you have put into your relationship?
I think that no matter what ring you get, you should be happy and proud of it because it came from the man you love.
Post # 4
no way! not horrible at all! I don’t necessarily think that you “deserve” a larger ring because you’ve been together for a long time, but if that’s what you want and what makes you happy, you should have it (if it’s within your means). I wanted a bigger ring, and my husband wanted me to be happy. win/win 🙂 I had a smaller diamond to begin with, and we had a lot of problems with the setting, so I ended up trading it in. That’s when I decided I would like a bigger diamond, and my husband was totally fine with it. It’s mine and we got it for me because I loved it. and that’s all that matters.
happy wife, happy life.
Post # 5
Do you deserve it? Yes. Is it necessary? No. I’d say that I deserve it, I went through hell and back to have our child! I am good to him and he is good to me. I actually downgraded my ring because it was too big. Big isn’t always better and people with smaller rings aren’t less deserving than those with larger ones. Your stone size doesn’t measure or amount to your self worth or his love for you. If you really want a bigger ring talk to him about an upgrade and see what he thinks.
Post # 7
I think the word “deserve” implies that an engagement ring is some kind of payment or reward, which, IMO, isn’t what engagement should be about.
Of course, our entire society conspires to make people think that, so I can’t blame anyone who feels that way.
Post # 8
@mylittleviolett: totally agree with that; it’s not the size that matters but the thought, I’m all about that. Trust me I’ve been with this man for some time now, and if it wasn’t for the emotion involved there wouldn’t be a relationship between us.
Maybe the term “deserve” wasn’t the best to use; it was more of a witty term in my head (sometimes my wit is not relayed well online). More so to get the attention from readers to post their thoughts. I’m personally not engaged; obviously, but we’ve had the talk multiple times; recently more. We’ve talked about rings, and he’s basically told me the amount; around, he’s allotting for a ring. So, since I sort of know the amount, I started doing a bit of looking on the side. A bigger ring doesn’t necessarily mean massive dollars; cut and clarity are also key here.
The representation of a larger diamond would be the amount of time and emotion we’ve put into our relationship together. Now, you could go out and buy a less blingy ring for that same amount that had better clarity and cut….so now tell me, does one deseve that bigger diamond?
lol I can just see how this is coming off to people; I am a bit of a button pusher…sorry ladies.
Post # 9
@mightywombat: I agree deserve is not a good word to throw around when talking about engagement. But should you have something you love? Yes I think so.
Post # 10
Depends on how big you mean and how much money you two have. To want platinum with diamonds can’t be selfish. To want platinum with 2-3 Ct center stone, maybe or maybe not, depends on your financial status.
Post # 11
I’m not sure if it is selfish or not, but personally I think it’s a waste of money. I’d want the incredible life I built to be a reflection of those 8 years, not a ring. I can think of lots of more worthy things, to me, to spend the money on. Travel, home, continuing education, retirement, etc.
Post # 12
@anonabon: I don’t think diamond/stone sizes reps love or time. That’s just not possible or fair.
Post # 13
@anonabon: “The representation of a larger diamond would be the amount of time and emotion we’ve put into our relationship together.”
No offense, but this seems shallow to me. A diamond doesn’t not equal any of the above. Our society has been manipulated to question how much love is really worth. Well guess what? Love is priceless.
Post # 15
I don’t think it’s horrible to want a big ring, but I don’t think a longer wait means you deserve anything different. You should get what suits your taste and is within your means, wether that’s big or small.
Post # 16
I don’t think that you deserve any more of a ring than the next person. We waited quite a few years to marry as well (6.5 to be exact) but that had absolutely no bearing on how big or small my ring was. We got the rings we wanted and you should do the same. Saying that you “deserve” more of a ring because you’ve been together for so long doesn’t make much sense to me.