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I used to discuss it moderately in high school. We were much worse at communication back then, so I really needed to dish to my best friends. I haven't had to in the past two years, though, because we've gotten much better at taking each other into account and fighting fairly. I'm sure there will be more rough patches to come, but for the most part we keep things between us.
We don't try to hide our tiffs, though. If we disagree on something we'll get into it in front of family, even if it means bickering. That's just our personalities though.
As a rule i NEVER tell my family when we're fighting. Moms have much longer memories than we do for when our guys are dumb :)
I do tell my MOH just about everything because I know she'll tell me when I'm being stupid. Or tell me when she thinks he's being stupid.
We have friends that know both of us and were there from the very beginning; however, as late, we are much more introverted about our relationship and our ups and downs. We've gotten pretty good at talking to each other rather than turning to others in our relationship
I don't tell me my family anything about my relationship with FI. I have ONE friend that I will discuss some things with when I need to get some feedback before approaching FI. I am a pretty private person and not the most trusting so I would never want to put something out there that someone can then use gainst either myself or my FI. The reality is...the things you say about your FI...either in anger or happiness WILL color your family's perception of him/her.
We tend to fight about really weird and impersonal things - either chores or semantic/intellectual arguments pretty much, so I don't consider it a big deal if I tell other people about it. But I think that we're strange in that we never fight about serious things - jealousy or commitment issues or anything like that. If I end up talking to others about it, I really don't feel like we're airing personal dirty laundry. Except when we're fighting about who should do the laundry.
I used to do it when I was younger. I learned pretty quick that it just creates more problems, because other people don't know your relationship like you do. If you tell your friend/mom/whatever about a fight where he said something mean then no matter how much of a sweetheart your SO is they will always have that view of him being "mean" behind closed doors.
No. I don't really like to discuss my relationship with others because no one can seem to fully understand the situation at hand unless they are in it themselves.
For the most part I don't discuss our relationship with others. I do have one really good friend though who is married and we sometimes discuss our relationships. It usually just things that we both can relate to though (ex. the challenges of finishing grad school/ wanting a career vs. the desire to have kids).
I have one girlfriend I tell, and she tells me. I like that we can be there for each other, and it helps to get everything out and off my chest. She is on here too, so THANKS!!!!!!!! :)
The first two years we were dating I did. But then things changed and as we became more serious it became more important for him to be the one I went to when I had a problem or vice versa because we realized we had frustrations but weren't talking about them and trying to vent them to others and put on a happy face for each other. But our relationship is 10x better since we made that decision.
I will talk about general things with close friends, like my frustrations with one of us having to work late, or how hating my job I've been trying not to take that home to him to much, or kid plans. Stuff that I've already talked about with him. But I wouldn't bash him or insult him to a friend. We're each others best advocates.
There's pretty much just one girlfriend I talk with about our relationship with. She's all around an amazing person and we're able to relate to each other on many different levels, which makes it that much more easy/awesome. It's helpful having someone like this, for sure ;]
My best friend (man of honor) is a guy and we share lots about our personal lives. I can't imagine not having somebody to share things with! I only tell my mother limited info. I think friends (great friends) are the best to share stuff with. :)
I wish I could discuss it sometimes, but I keep it between us, out of respect for him/ our private relationship. Sometimes that is hard, but "sharing" can sometimes bite me in the butt, so I never tell anyone our personal problems/ secrets. . . even though it is hard sometimes!
I don't have anyone that I really talk to about our relationship right now. I haven't found anyone here that I'm very close to and I don't want to whine to people about my problems!
I just read an article about the best advice brides received. One bride shared that her mother told her NOT to talk about fights. The mother of the bride said that if she heard about fights, she would remain upset and yet the couple would work it out and forget about it. I think this is great advice!
@desert_teacher i agree, that is good advice! As much as I sometimes want to vent to someone, I can't say I would feel comfortable if I knew my SO did that, it is better to work it out yourselves.
I'm very happy to say that if my dude and I have a fight, the only person that I talk about it with is my dude, but that's because our communication is top notch. I feel funny if we have a fight talking about it with someone else.
FH and I don't discuss our relationship/issues/fights/hard times with any one. We are great communicators individually and we try to be with each other. He knows that I cannot discuss things straight away and I know he like to talk right away. He talks I absorb then we meet about 48 hours later and talk again, haahaahaaa
It doesn't work for everyone but it works for us. We're kind of private people, if we feel there is something we aren't able to work through we'll talk about it with our Rabbi.
I LIE - - I talk with the Hive 
@desert_teacher - exactly. You don't want others knowing your personal information or -worse- having an opinion on it after things have been made right. A relationship is about trust, and even if it would help to spill the beans, it is important to swallow them! You don't want other people having an inside edge on what matters most to you.
I don't talk to my family about anything "bad". They get to hear all of the good / neutral stuff. I do have one close friend that gets some of the "bad" news . . . but generally only after he and I have hashed it all out. We are both pretty private people.
In the beginning of our relationship we didn't really fight, and if we did it wasn't anything major. We mostly discussed the good things and more of the confusing issues with our close friends at that point. Now that we've been dating for much longer we argue a little more, but we also argue more fairly and logically. FI doesn't really talk to anyone about the "bad" things in our relationships and he'll only mention the really great things to his friends. He's just a really private person. I tend to talk about the major issues with my best friend when they're bothering me, but I also make a point to tell her the great things that happen too.
My mom and I have gotten a lot closer over the past year and a half and though I wouldn't have dreamed of it before, I talk to my mom about a lot of the issues that FI and I have. Her advice is usually different than that of my best friend, but equally as helpful, because she's gone through lots of the same things.
The BF and I don't talk to others about personal things that happen in our relationship, I made that mistake once and heard that all my friends thought there was something wrong between him and I, which is not the case; they just happen to do things diffrently and consequently they have rocky relationships because of it and he and I have had an amazingly strong relationship since the beginning. Also, I have a friend that shares everything and I can't help but look at his GF different;y now, not in a good way. Anyway, my point is that I have learned that it is best to keep things private.
i definitely have my best friend and my mom that i rely on as emotional support and advice givers in my life. they know a lot about our relationship and both offer objective/subjective advice if/when it's needed.
there are also things that i choose to keep between FI and i for the betterment of our relationship. i like knowing that whether it's an issue or something special to us, there are so many things about our relationship that are "just us."
FI doesn't really share a lot with others. but if necessary, relies on his best friend and his parents as well.
I have one friend who I discuss almost everything with. She is very good at giving me an objective viewpoint while still commiserating with me and never thinking different of FI (of course it helps that usually I am the one in the wrong or being silly). I don't bring up our problems to family, though I may joke about little stuff, like his refusal to put dishes in the dishwasher or other quirky little habits!
I have one or two good friends whom i discuss different issues with. Some issues i don't bring up to Friend A. Some issues don't get mentioned to Friend B. Most of the time it's "what do you think i should do?" or "am i being irrational?". Like i vented to one friend about how frustrating it was DH was unemployed. She commiserated--she'd been there/done that and we talked about it. With my other friend, sometimes i just vent about my health issue. And my family only hears the good stuff =]. Not that we really have any bad stuff, but i like to keep them in the positive up and up. My mom likes to grasp onto stuff from the past and bring them up and string them together. She'll find ways to make them relate. It really depends on what issue it is. Every time something is brought up, it's so there can be some constructive advice given.
I have one friend who I talk to about SOME things.. but most don't leave the privacy of our house. It's nice if you need someone to be un-biased, but most of the time, it feels better to deal with it one on one.
I don't really share a lot of details about our relationship, but I might say to one of my closest friends when my husband is annoying me, but it's normally something trivial like "He has been making me bonkers with that salsa he likes and i hate the smell of!!!" b/c I don't want to nag my hubby but feel really really annoyed without venting.
PS: On the salsa front, he has sworn that he will not buy that particular nostril offending brand anymore. Win!
Ditto what @CorgiTales said. I never discuss issues (especially fights) about our relationship with family, but I tell my MOH everything (well, almost everything) and she tells me everything about her relationship. We both really love each other AND partners (i.e. she loves me and my hubby, and I love her and her fiance), so we can see both sides well and help each other work through issues if necessary. I love having someone I can vent to if hubby is being particularly annoying!
I have my one best friend, who I tell most things to, but there's a limit. Somethings just have to be worked out between him and I and are meant to be private.
When me and FH were in high school we did. Now I go to my Mama and he goes to his Dad. Sometimes we keep it to ourselves.
No. We are both very private people, and don't discuss relationship issues with anyone else. We had been together almost a year before I "brought him home" to meet mom and dad! LOL just private like that.
For the most part, no but...
I've talked to my coworker a little bit because she has problems with her MIL so she is someone I can relate to. She's talked to me about my MIL since the wedding (where she witnessed the behavior) but I don't disucss much anymore because I'm trying not to focus on MIL.
Me and DH went together (at DH's suggestion) to my dad and step mom to ask for advice in dealing with his mom.
So I do talk but it's not about DH, it's about our problem with his mom.
I only discuss with specific people... like my sister, mom, and best friend (who is my fiance's cousin's girlfriend.) These are people that I can wholeheartedly trust and I know won't judge me. I don't discuss with colleagues or acquaintances because I don't want people to formulate judgments about my relationship.
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No relationship is perfect, do you have certain people you talk too when problems arise? Or do you keep it between you and your SO? I have some friends that keep their lips sealed and others who openly discuss issues to me and I don't really mind.
Thoughts?