Do you dream about other men?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you dream about other men?
    Yes and SO doesn't care : (59 votes)
    76 %
    Yes and SO gets upset : (4 votes)
    5 %
    No, I've never dreamt about another man other than my SO : (15 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    DID NOT VOTE… Cause I do not share.


    Occasionally I dream about other men… and in a romantic or sexual way at times.

    Altho none of them are ever famous… just guys I have known in my lifetime.  Some of them past BFs, Lovers… but just as likely to be someone who isn’t.

    Honestly I think such dreams are quite normal.

    Unfortunately, some people assume they are not… or not appropriate… or lustful.  (Puritan thinking)

    I don’t think that… I just think they are normal human nature.

    BUT at the same time I am not one to share them with my SO / Hubby

    As that would just be mean-spirited IMO… honestly, he doesn’t need to know that I was kissing my HS Boyfriend (who I haven’t seen in about 40 years) or the Dry-Cleaner in my dreams.

    Just wouldn’t be productive to OUR RELATIONSHIP

    Any more than I need to know he was bonking Sandra Bullock in his sleep.

    — — —

    Think about it as women we are really sensitive to thinking about the women our guys have slept with / imagine themselves with… we get soooo messed up with the comparissons… face, hair, body, breasts, butt, stomach, etc.

    So WHY would I ever want to share what goes on in my dreams when I am asleep… and NOT IN CONTROL.  That is ridiculous… and well just inviting him to share with me.  Which would put me into a spot of doubting myself.

    Disaster in the making… relationships are hard enough, when you are dealing with the REALITY of life in the 21st Century

    I say keep your dreams to yourself.  They are just fantasy anyhow… not like you are going to meet Johnny Depp at the Grocery Store, he’ll drop his handful of items in the aisle, and wisk you away !!



    Post # 4
    254 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Yes – I didn’t vote because I dont bother telling my SO about it. I definitly think it has to do with reading books about romance, or when I watch my shows… Its completely ridiculous and doesn’t mean a thing, so why bother taking a chance and hurt him or make him upset when its something uncontrollable.

    Post # 5
    849 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @NurseMandie:  Ahaha, earlier this week I dreamt that I was dating Ryan Gosling and I woke up and told FI and he was a little pissed off about it. I never rave about celebrities so he is quite jealous of the Ryan Gosling story. LOL!

    Post # 6
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    If there’s one thing I have learned in two years of cohabitating- if you tell someone about a dream you had and it makes them upset, don’t tell them when it happens again!  Or at least, not in detail 🙂

    I look at it this way, I know my SO has his “man time”, who doesn’t?  I don’t want to know the details of what he’s watching or viewing when he’s alone though (every once in a while I get curious and he has no problem telling me or showing me).  It doesn’t upset me to know it happens, I just don’t always want the gory details.

    So, when I have a dream about another man (celebrity or otherwise), I just tell him I had a sexy or romantic dream.  If he wants to know more, I’ll tell him, but most of the time, he’s just happy to be oblivious as to what i was dreaming about or with who.  He’s like me, he’s okay that it happens but doesn’t want to know the details.

    I think in this case, you gave too many details away.  Just like, I know my SO loves my body type, but if he told me about what he was watching alone and it was another body type (less curvy than I), I’d feel bad as well.  Is that what he really wants? 

    No, of course not, he is with me because he loves my body.  You’re with your SO because you love his body.  Spare him from being upset, and just be more general if you tell him about dreams.  I dreamt about this or that, not with who or what they looked like.  He’ll like hearing about sexy dreams most likely, or even romantic ones if you’re vague about the casting.

    Post # 7
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I could care less about dreams, and I barely remember them let alone remember them clearly enough to tell anyone. If I did dream about another man (and I can’t recall a time I did), I would see no value in telling FI because it wouldn’t mean anything.

    Post # 8
    2687 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    yes, my future husband, Darren Criss. 🙂



    But in all seriousness, yes, I do dream about other guys. Usually it’s a celebrity (mostly Darren Criss, hahaha), but sometimes it’ll be someone we hung out with that day (mostly a few of our reoccuring friends). However, even if in my dream it’s a sexual situation, or a situation where I think I’m in love with them or whatever, they always end up morphing into my boyfriend in the dream. Or, I’ll feel incredibly guilty in my dream. I remember once I had a dream that Darren Criss was in love with me (I know, obsessed, etc.), and in the dream I was like “oh my god! this is everything I’ve ever hoped for! I want this so bad! but… I have a boyfriend :(” I couldn’t even bring myself to be with Darren in my dreams. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT IN DREAMS. I woke up feeling incredibly guilty, and upset. The only time I’ll ever be with Darren Criss, and it’s just in a dream and it’s fake, and it was ruined because I love my boyfriend too much! I woke him up to tell him he’s ruining my dreams. I told him what happened and he laughed at me and said sorry. haha

    Post # 9
    1771 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Yes, I dream about other men. If it’s a celebrity or someone famous, I usually share with FI because they tend to be funny dreams. For example, I once dreamt that I was at a jousting match between the Avengers and the Lannisters. Best. Joust. Ever. Also, Thor was trying to get me drunk. It was pretty hilarious.

    If I dream about an ex or a guy we actually know, I usually keep it to myself. The nature of those dreams tends to be sad or disturbing, so I would rather not share.

    The romance novel probably has an influence on your dreams. If they upset your FI that much, I’d just stop telling him about them.

    Post # 10
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I also don’t share my dreams that have to do with other men, if it also has to do with me. And yes I have dreams about other people.

    Post # 11
    500 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Yep, and my DH doesn’t care at all. I actually dream about one of my exes (a high school friend of DH’s, actually) every so often and he doesn’t care one bit. It’s only a dream, and it’s not like I’m lusting/wanting to be with him in real life. 

    Post # 12
    560 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I cant vote bc my i situation isn’t listed but, yes I dream about other guys sometimes famous people , sometimes guys I know, not always sexual dreams , but regardless I usually don’t tell my DH so I not sure how he would react but my guess is he wouldn’t care. I only tell him about crazy or scary dreams 

    Post # 13
    3355 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I do dream about other men lol. it’s weird because I’ve had a couple of them about me being romantically involved with my boss. my married boss. um wtf brain!

    Post # 14
    2687 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    @This Time Round:  Sandra Bullock?! Your SO has fantastic taste. 😉 

    I tell my boyfriend if it’s a celebrity, just because, hey, why not? He doesn’t get upset at all. I don’t usually tell him if it’s a person we know, though, just because I don’t want to inadvertently hurt his feelings, when it’s usually no one that I’m even remotely attracted to or interested in, haha. 

    My boyfriend and I have agreed that we have one hall pass each, so if we ever meet our respective celebrity hall passes, we are allowed to do whatever, haha. Mine is Darren Criss (a girl can dream), and his is Zooey Deschanel.  

    Post # 15
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I used to once or twice a year… But now I’m pregnant, and it’s EVERY NIGHT.

    When I’ve mentioned ONE to DH (I was having sex with either Shaq or Michael Jordan), because I thought it was HILARIOUS (I don’t follow basketball and thought they were the same person until pretty recently).

    DH was NOT AMUSED!

    Post # 16
    7664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Didn’t vote because I don’t share. Sure, I have odd dreams. I think that’s pretty normal. But I don’t go to DH and say “****, had an odd dream last night…. Jonny Depp was there, and he was dressed in his Pirates of the Caribbean garb, and then we… er… yeah…”.

    Dreams are normal. Sharing every intimate detail…. less so!

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