Weddingbee boards

As a proper host(ess), it is always said, per etiquette, that you should serve your guests first and then serve yourself because it is considered highly rude to eat before your guests. Since that is the case, why do folks insist that it is rude to do the opposite at a wedding? Both are parties hosted by the same folks, but one happens to be in a larger venue since most homes are too small for that capacity of guests, so theoretically, one should not have different rules in that regard.

I'm not talking about people who don't eat at the reception, using the claim they don't have time, etc, while they are walking around greeting their guests, which is typically done at the end of the ceremony. If someone doesn't eat, then they will be very sick if all they are drinking is alcohol on an empty stomach, and others have medical reasons (diabetes, etc) for eating at certain intervals, where walking around instead of eating won't fly.

Every wedding I've been to, the couple and bridal party gets served first. Traditionally this probably makes sense as it would have been the bride's parents hosting (not so common these days), not the couple. The couple are the guests of honour so it makes sense. It still makes sense though - gives them time to eat and then they can go mingle :)

Even if the couple pays for it themselves, they are still guests of honor? Very few parents these days finance their children's weddings. The guests don't know who is paying so they think they are the guests and don't consider the couple to be guests. Even so, in the days when the parents did pay the wedding bills, full dinners were unheard of or very new in the grand scheme of history.

Well, technically your parents are the hostess of the party or whom ever is paying the bride and groom are always the guests of honor. So I don't see why they shouldn't just be served before everyone else. If it's not too soon before they can wait till everyone gets served to take the first bite. Or you can have grace before dinner so everyone eats at the same time... We're having a buffet so I'm not sure what we are personally going to do....

Logistics wise, it would make sense for the bridal party to eat first, so they can finish eating early enough to cut the cake and have their first dance while the night is still young.  Otherwise everyone else will be done eating and have to wait around for the bridal party to finish eating and then open the dance floor.

Ettiquette wise, I've never heard anyone say it's rude to serve the bridal party last or first.  However, I have heard that some people expect the bridal party to "open the buffet" similarly to the way they open the dance floor... but that's if you're having a buffet.  Otherwise if it's a plated dinner, it doesn't take more than a few minutes to bring out all the food anyway so no one's feeling like their waiting on anyone else in that case.

We'll be eating at the same time, because we are having such a small wedding. I have heard that many couples don't get to eat at all, o you might want to plan for that possibility (stick a cereal bar in your purse, or having somethng planned for later, depending on the time of the wedding)