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Do You Ever Feel Bad About Being (Petite) Skinny?

posted 2 years ago in Wellness
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    Gerbera    August 7, 2010   NY

    Fellow Petite (specifically skinny this time) Girls,

    Do you ever feel like in recent years the media has changed drastically to make full figure girls feel better about themselves. Which is a GREAT thing because we are ALL beautiful.But. I feel like in doing so the message that comes across to ME at least is if you're not the "average" woman you're not a REAL woman. And really, what IS average?I just hate that in the recent years I feel like in trying to make full figure girls feel better it seems like "well if you're skinny" you must be bulimic or anorexic. Because it's not "real" or "normal" to be that skinny.

    I can't honestly say I am blessed with genetics because my mom was heavier in her younger days and I have a maternal aunt that fights with weight issues. FI and I eat very healthy, I'll admit it I hardly ever work out because I'm uber lazy. But we eat healthy, but not in the I will never in my life eat potato chips and fried chicken kinda healthy. But a good balance, know what I mean?

    Anyway, am I the only one that feels this way?

    Perspectives from ALL sides welcomed!
    Please note in no way shape or form am I trying to make anyone feel bad. I am just expressing my feelings and wondering if anyone else feels the same OR am I off my rocker? If YOU think I am, feel free to say so, nicely. Laughing

    P.S. Petite(skinny) topic here!

     
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    hilsy85    September 2010  

    I think that all the "media" you're talking about, that you feel makes fullfigured girls feel better, is a result of the fact that there IS a ton of stigma and discrimination against heavier people. And the fact that there is a small subset of magazines, websites, books, whatever, that support full figured women doesn't change the fact that people do discriminate against people because of their weight. To me, this argument is similar to saying something about how there is so much support for people of color, now that Obama is president, what about white people? Shouldn't they be given time in the spotlight as well? (I know it's a little extreme). I just think it's easy as someone in the majority/valued group--thin--to not see how people in the stigmatized group are really treated.

    I do however agree that there tends to be a split--like either you're ONLY a woman if you're full figured, or you're ONLY a woman if you're thin. That drives me crazy--the world needs to be more open-minded to all forms of femininity and "woman-ness."

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    There is definitely a media stigma shift that way. The emphasis is on full being 'beautiful' and model-slender being 'sick' and gross now, but it has backlashed into making skinnier women feel guilty or unattractive or unwomanly in the process. I can't relate on how I feel about it because I consider myself neither skinny/petite nor overweight, just sorta smack in the middle, but I do see it in the media frequently and I cringe a little when i see girls touting their curves as being "real women" because I know the skinnier girls are going "hey! what about me!?"  

    there's just no happy medium, is there?!

    I will say that whenever I think of "unhealthy skinny" i think of my friend who struggles with Anorexia. Who is so thin it will kill her if she doesn't get better. I don't think about the women who are just naturally skinny and/or work hard to stay a size 0 or just have ballerina bodies. Or who are just slender in general. Or, skinnier than me. THAT is automatically where my mind goes for "unhealthy skinny". Ok and some of those models because seriously some of them do need a burger and a lot of them ARE anorexic, but I never see girls in real life where I go "OMG" and freak out mentally about them being too skinny. I've only known a handful of anorexic girls in real life and those who struggled the most really were that skinny that you just knew instinctively something was wrong. It wasn't "oh she's skinny" it was more the gaunt face, the pallor, the bad skin, hair, nails, the bad teeth. That sort of stuff gave it away.

     
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    okqueenbee    Dec 4, 2009   OKC

    I would just like to say I would LOVE for someone to call me a skinny biatch. It would seriously make my day, and I would take no offense to it whatsoever.

    Note: I am not super-thin, or can really even be classified as skinny due to the extra lbs in my belly area, but regardless, I wish someone would call me that lol.

    I don't know what it feels like to be real thin. I've always battled with my weight and it has gone up and down since I was around 18. At this point in my life, I look ok, and feel reasonably good about myself. It's important that we all feel good about ourselves, and to give ourselves a pat on the back for the things we achieve, whatever they are.

    We are all REAL women. We're not robots, we were born human, and we are real. I can see where you're coming from on that term. I definately prefer to use the term 'average' over the term 'real' simply because it's most accurate. No one can be faulted for their genetics. I wish I got the naturally skinny gene but alas, I did not :(

    Anywho, just chiming in.

     
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    Gerbera    August 7, 2010   NY

    @okqueenbee,
    SKINNY BIaTCH! :P

    I definitely understand WHY there has been a media shift in that direction. I just feel like things got to the all or nothing phase. And in doing so, it does make skinny people feel like hey "what about me". Just because we're skinny doesn't mean we're not real woman.

    And yeah, I know, this totally sounds like a "woe is me" post probably to the people who DO think skinny people are not real woman.

    FYI. I'm OK with my body because FI loves it and that's all that matters! Every now and then when I see a "beautiful L'Oreal because I'm a real woman" commercial it just digs into me. Then I just usually turn and bitch to FI. Hehe.

     
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    missjyc    September 18, 2010   macomb, michigan

    you are right that the media is switching gears, but i think at any given point in time, one side or another is gona take flack... it's hard to promote a "everyone's beautiful" campaign, when "everyone doesn't agree" like ej said "there's really no happy medium"

    as far being someone who had "good genetics" as some would like to call, it's not always the skinny girls that are healthy too. i'm 5'7" and weigh 125 lbs... but a couple years back i was considered anemic with an overactive thyroid, which kept me at an unhealthy 110 lbs. models might consider this a god send, but for me i felt gross and skeletal.

    i think women on both ends of the spectrum know what it feels like to be scrutinized and stereotyped the wrong way. it's just the way of life and you gotta let society course its generic ways without it hindering from you, personally, knowing that you are a wonderful woman, exactly the way you are.

     
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    hilsy85    September 2010  

    @ Gerbera: I totally agree that there has been a shift to the all or nothing phase--and I agree, it sucks! It's never fair to make one group feel unwelcome or less-than, especially because for women, our bodies/weights are so much a part of how we value ourselves (or at least in my experience). I think it's great that you're happy with yourself and you have a great FI who appreciates you as well! I hope I didn't come off as attacking your POV-not my intention at all :)

     
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    Minutiae    May 2011  

    I absolutely do not feel bad about being skinny. I've weighed about 115lbs since high school. That's completely normal and healthy for me, and I'm glad to have the body I have.

    What's annoying to me is the idea that skinny girls aren't supposed to feel bad about themselves, and we're not supposed to exercise because "we don't need it." My mother and sister give me grief because I bought an exercise DVD. "What do you need that for, you're already skinny!" I WANT TO BE HEALTHY, NOT SKINNY! Blargh.

    I have my insecurities like anyone else. I don't shout them from the mountaintops, and I don't comment on other people's weight.

    Personally, I think we could all benefit from ignoring the media. They show a bunch of crap and talk a bunch of crap.

    Skinny biatch skinny biatch skinny biatch! So there!

     
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    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    I have very mixed feelings on this. I think it's awesome that the media is starting to show women of ALL sizes, and not just those that are stick-thin. I think it's a really great shift to make, and I'm so glad to see it finally happening.

    However, in the process, I do agree that more curvy women are now being called "real" women, while skinnier women are called "sickly" or "gross". I wish that all women would be called "real" whether they weigh 105 pounds or 205. 

    EDIT: Also wanted to add that I 100% agree with Minutiae that the thing I hate most is being told by others to shut up when I mention being bloated, etc. I hate being told "Oh, look at you - you're so skinny, you never have to worry about feeling bad" because that's not true. If I gain weight, I understand that I'm still skinny, but I don't feel like ME. And I feel like I have every right to have insecurities about my body, because really, who doesn't?

     
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    pink peppercorn    June 1, 2009   San Francisco

    Yes, I feel that people always hate on the skinny girls or that it's ok to say snarky remarks to skinny girls thinking that it wouldn't hurt their feelings because they're skinny.  I'm skinny, and although nature may have played a role, I also live a healthy lifestyle via exercise and a healthy diet of whole natural foods.  I'm really offended when people who think they need to chime in telling me to eat more or "oh, you don't have to worry about eating this and that, or that I'm too skinny even though I'm at a normal weight and BMI." 

    I just feel especially in America where we have an obesity epidemic and the rise of childhood obesity, do we really need to encourage people that being heavy is acceptable or the status quo, and then tell skinny people to put more weight on?

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    @Gerbera, well, you do know, only REAL WOMEN USE L'OREAL, right? hahaha. I must be a man because I don't use L'Oreal thenSmile

    There is a big difference between encouraging obesity and celebrating body size diversity and realizing beauty goes outside a size 2-8 box. You can celebrate somebody's beauty without encouraging them to be obese.

     
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    okqueenbee    Dec 4, 2009   OKC

    @ Gerbera - YAY!

    *dances around singing*

    "I'm a skinny Bi-atch, I'm a skinny Bi-atch!"

    hehe :)

     

     
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    leighannd    April 30, 2011   brooklyn, ny

    unfortunatley i dont think this will ever change - in terms of what the "media" says. they complain when a super skinny toned hot celebrity gains 5 lbs, but then will condem the same person if she then loses too much. they expect everyone to be what their personal view of perfect is - but its not up to them.

    you shouldnt feel ashamed that you have the body you have - you ARE a real woman! we all are! this "real" woman bullshit needs to stop!

    i myself am on the chubby side haha...but im totally comfortable with that, and i know im healthy and my weight is healthy. thats all that matters. health and being comfortable! thats why you usually have such a huge weight range! mine is 125-150 - thats a HUGE range! I have always been 145, but i would look totally different if i were 125, i would look sick (and i dont mean that in a good way haha)!

    my cousin has anorexia (but is dealing with it now) - when she was below her normal weight she looked so sick. you couldnt see her bones, you wouldnt say she was TOO skinny if you didnt know her, but you could SEE it was not her body! that was not how her body was made to look. now she is at a very comfortable and healthy weight for her - and she looks SO healthy and so great. she is not skinny. she is not fat! she is not chubby! she is who she is!

    also - any man who is worth anything cares more about confidence then  your body! if you feel comfortable with your body - they will too. trust me.

    so whos left now? media and jealous females lol who cares about them? ;)

    you sound healthy and happy with your body - dont let other people bother you. odds are those people are probably unhappy with themselves and are just trying to make themselves feel better by bringing others down.

     
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    when i was skinny i felt bad about it! i lost a lot of weight a while ago due to meds i was on, nothing i could do about it. i ate, a lot. my mom stuffed milkshakes down my throat daily. and her friends constantly came up to her telling her how worried they were about me and how they thought i was anerexic, which made her want to stuff me some more! it made me so upset because she saw me eat, she knew i was fine, but she listened to her friends. her friends who also saw me eat so i don't know what their problem was. plus, it's just not fun when people tell you that you have an eating disorder when you don't. but i do think it's good to make people of all shapes and sizes feel good about themselves, big and small. i used to complain about my weight when i was thin, and i know my friends hated it because, i was thin, but i always tried to explain that you can be insecure either way. and i was made to feel unhealthy.

     
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    Opus    December 23, 2011  

    I see all of this as a side effect of trying to make ideal weight a point instead of a RANGE. Healthy, beautiful women have a range of BMIs, not a set number of pounds depending on height. By defining a "real" or "normal" weight at a specific number, plenty of thinner women will feel less womanly, and heavier women too curvy. The range certainly has limits where health is affected, but no one should feel bad for being at one end or another.

     
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    otb    December 31, 2009   Chicago, IL

    I do have to say, I was thin until about a year ago when I started putting on weight.  And the ONLY time I think someone needs a burger or two to make themselves more attractive looking is when as ejs said they are sickly skinny.  You know, when their thigh is the size of a toothpick and you can just tell they haven't eaten in days.  When I was in college, there was a girl who used the same workout facility I did, and I would work out at random times, it varied by day.  EVERY time I went to work out, she was in there working out.  I really have no idea how she had the stamina for that, because girl looked like she was about to fall over.  That is the only time I really have a problem with it.  Otherwise, I think all women are beautiful, and every person is made different.  So skinny for you is different than skinny for me.  Good post, btw. 

     
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    mlbiaso    July 10, 2010   New York

    Why are all the boards about skinny bitches today :) I was just venting about it on another board.

    I do feel guilty often about being skinny and people constantly say snarky things, like I must be anorexic if I go to the gym so much or turn down junk food.

    I am not naturally thin. I work my butt off!

    Seriously, who cares if you are thin or not? As long as you are happy then eff it! If you are not happy, do something about it.

    But, I have to say I hate the term skinny bitch :) and I hate when people make nasty comments... such as "You can tell she doesn't eat" or "eat a burger" I am healthy and def not too thin, but you would be surprised at how many times people make comments.

     

     
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    Kare7213    May 22, 2010   Dewitt, MI

    I can understand where your coming from but ive never been "stick thin". Ive never had a major weight problem but ive always had curves. To be healthy and still considard "plus size" (ugh I had that term "plus"! SO degrading!) Is a huge blow to the self esteem. We live in a world where woman are for show. Not for really who they are. If you are over weight, you have an eating problem. If you are underweight, you have an eating problm. There are MANY reasons on both sides where eating really has nothing to do with it. When you go into the store and you go shopping you shop in the "womans department" Not the "Skiny department". But for woman with curves they shop in the ""plus"" Section. Sometimes the minority just need a little boost of self confidence. Its a cruel cruel world out there. Just be happy with who you are please. The plus sized girls hate hearing how fat they are. So just get used to poeple sticking up for them please!

     
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    Lindsay12.31.2010    December 31, 2010   Missouri

    I am a pretty skinny gal.  I'm very petite, just like my momma! I am 5'0, and right around 90 pounds.  This isn't going to change, so I don't stress about it, no point really. 

     
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    Future Mrs. Martin    August 21, 2010   London Ontario Canada

    I don't think the media should be calling one size "real women" we are all "real women" if we have two X chromosomes!

    One thing to ad to the conversation from a personal training point of view that chimes in with what a lot of you are saying that skinny girls can be unhappy with their bodies as well and I agree whole heartedly. I see a lot of "fat" skinny people, meaning that their fat mass is higher than it sure be in proportion to their fat free mass. (Muscle weighs more than fat and so the number on the scale means very little). Being fit and fat is proven to be more healthy than to be skinny and unfit. So don't let ANYONE tell you that you shouldn't work out because you are already skinny because truly that should NOT be the main reason to work out it should be for your health.

    Skinny people are blessed to have a great metabolism and should be proud of it but they should also take care of that wonderful body through a healthy diet and exercise. I think what the media needs to portray is that size and weight don't matter it is what we put in our mouths and DO with our body that matters!

     
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    Gerbera    August 7, 2010   NY

    @hilsy85,
    No offense at all. I think your posts are always eloquent with no nastiness/attacking at all.

    @EJS,
    You're worth it. We're ALL worth it.

    @mlbiaso,
    I've been thinking about this a while...and it was a good springboard to go off of.

    OK...I'll stop using the term.
    -----------------------

    And just to say, it's easy to say ignore media. But it's everywhere in your face unless I move to the country, cut out cable and internet. And that just ain't gonna happen.And please don't think I'm a media -centric person. So not at all. I just love my TV. :)

    ---------------

    You girls crack me up.

     
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    KLP2010    October 30, 2010  

    I think Vince Vaughn once said he somehow found a way to be fit and flabby... or something to that effect.

    That's how I feel right now and when I mention cleaning up my diet and working out I get "really, but you don't need to loose weight, your already skinny." (I should add I'm not petite at all, I'm 5'11" so maybe that adds to the stigma for me?)

    Well, when I do jumping jacks and I feel my tummy and thighs "bouncing" from movement it's time to work out. And it's not about loosing "weight" as much as it is about toning up and loosing the extra body fat I've gained since my accident.  Shoot, I can't wear 3/4 of my jeans right now and it keeps SNOWING.... not good. lol. 

    That being said, I think we need to promote HEALTHINESS! I want dove to show women that just because they are "full figured" they're still beautiful... but at the same time, heart disease is not.  There are indeed a lot of health issues that can come from being overweight and that should not be praised. Neither should being a gaunt un-healthy photoshopped altered model who is on the verge of heart failure from LACK of nutrients. It's a delicate balance.

    So, now we are at a point where "thinner" women feel un-womanly... and larger women feel like they are perfect where they are... except they still aren't "mainstream acceptable."

    What ever happened to the I Love Lucy days were a 6 was average (not 0) and we didn't have an obesity epidemic? Then again, we cooked more, we ate less, and we ate better. We used purer foods, convienince wasn't a necessity as the mom was home and cooked meals and made lunch for the husband at work and kids at school... 

     

     
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    Gerbera    August 7, 2010   NY

    @KLP

    Hear. Hear.

    Real meals. Not fast food, takeout. Healthiness. And you mentioned Vince Vaughn. Love ya! Kiss

     
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    leighannd    April 30, 2011   brooklyn, ny

    @Kare7213 i hate "plus size" ! sorry that i have a luscious ass! haha...that does not mean im plus size! a year ago i was carrying around an extra 15lbs than i normally do, and i wore size 14 pants - but i was wearing 50% of the time - small tops! and if i got a dress, size 8! its so dumb haha.

     
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    KLP2010    October 30, 2010  

    I just did a quick google and found this, fascinating.

    http://www.divinecaroline.com/79975/49492-portion-size--vs--now

     
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    Blueshoes2    June 2010   PA

    Here's my experience:

    I was teased a lot when I was little about being too skinny.  Kids are mean, and they used to call me some pretty mean names.  I used to come home and cry and make my mom buy me doughnuts and whole milk.  I had no idea I just had high/fast metabolism, I just knew I was different.  (That and being awkward and shy probably didn't help lol).

    Nowadays, I'm a size two.  I'm healthy for my height.  I have friends who are one or two sizes bigger than me that hang me out to dry if I even MENTION my sides not being toned or something.  It's kind of annoying.  Especially since they're pretty much the same size as me!  I hate being called out about how skinny I am and told to shut it by people who are almost the same size... and yet they're allowed to complain!  So yes, sometimes I feel bad about being small.

     
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    pink peppercorn    June 1, 2009   San Francisco

    KLP,

    I couldn't said it better myself.  I agree that we need to focus on living a healthy lifestyle instead of just judging people just by their weight.

     
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    chelseamorning    November 1, 2008   Washington, DC/Atlanta

    The media loves extremes---skinny is in, skinny is out, "real" women....us girls in the center never get any attention! :)

     
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    whfields    June 3, 2010   wedding in Florida

    I surely don't feel bad about being thin - not in the least.  And I do think there is a huge shift in the media.  And I wish some girls wouldn't get upset when a skinny girl complains about gaining weight.  I weighed 110 lbs in high school, then college came and I gained 15 lbs (DAMN freshman 15!!!).  So to me, that was "fat" compared to what I was at and more importantly should have been at (my weight has always been consistent).  I'm sure a girl who weights 130 and gains 18 lbs (that's the 14% I gained) would feel fat.  Why can't I feel fat if I gain some weight?  I'm allowed to feel fat!! Thankfully I'm back to my consistent 110 because I cut out all the crap I was eating.  I'm 5'5" and I'm totally and completely healthy at 110.

     
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    MidnightSun    December 31, 2017  

       I don't feel bad about being thin at all. I've always been thin and will always be thin just like every other woman in my family.

    Though I do deal with people trying to make me feel bad about it, regularly. The women from my boyfriend's family as well as women from my office comment (who are all "regular" sized) about how I "don't eat" (I do eat. A lot.), how I am going to "pass out" because I don't eat "enough", ... my boyfriend's sister once gave me a child's size t-shirt!! One time two women walked by and one said "I wish I was that skinny." and the other looked at me and said "What? Anorexic?!". These are adults I'm talking about, by the way.

     I am 5'2 and 115 pounds. I am by no means "too" skinny or "anorexic". People are going to be rude and try to put you down to make themselves feel better. Don't let it get to you, as long as you're happy & healthy then who cares?!

     
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    christalynn11    October 22, 2010   Arlington, WA

    Skinny girls?  Guess what!?  You have every right to have a bad day, you absolutely have your "I'm bloated and my clothes are fitting too tight" moments.  I won't take that away from you.  That is absolutely about being a woman, a female, a girl.  You shouldn't feel bad about being skinny anymore than I should feel bad about being chubby - and yet I agree that the media makes us think about these things more often than not.

    I know this post got it's jump off of my post - I'm flattered, but also a little bummed.  My post was not about weight itself - skinny or chubby - it was about sensitivity to weight (and other) issues.  I'd just like to point that out.

    I don't want ANYONE to feel bad about themselves, skinny or not.  :)

    Just saying.

    And for the record, I can't stand the "real woman" thing any more than anyone else, regardless of size.  It's closed minded to think that you can't be a real woman based on the size or shape of your body.  It is about what is in your heart.

     

     
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    LittleMissNinjaTurtle    September 5, 2010   Deep in the Heart of Texas

    It's not that I feel bad about being skinny its just that I find it awkward when people are like "you're so TINY." They mean it as a compliment but I never know what to say back so I usually mumble "thanks." If anything I feel pressure to put on the weight because people are like "you need to go eat some lard or something" I've been the same size all my life, I can't help it people! Laughing

     
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    Chipmunk      

    I love being skinny its great...sometimess....I hate when people tell me to eat more like fries and burgers...i'm 110llbs I've been this weight for a good portion of my life stop telling me i need to eat...the doctor says i could gain a bit of weight, but medically im fine fit as a whistle...I eat my junk food and love it especially doritos ..but i do watch what I eat and try to work out , do yoga..etc. I'm skinny and I'm always going to be skinny unless I go on a crazy eating binge hah..my mom is 50 and is a size 4 so I definitely got her genes and I'm damn proud of being a skinny biatch...a health one at that...we just need to love and accept ourselves for what we are whether size 0 or size 1000 ...we showed be focusing on gaining or losing pounds in a healthy manner. :)

     
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    mlbiaso    July 10, 2010   New York

    @midnight sun: Everyone always buys me kids clothes! I totally understand how you feel.

     

     
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    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    LOL My little sister is EXTREMELY tiny (5'10 and a size 00) I think she has a 19  inch waist or something like that.  I don't think she feels bad about being tiny. I think she says it's just her.  She probably actually likes it when compared to me (I'm a size 14/16). I don't think there is anything unreal about her in the least bit. I think the term "real" shouldn't actually be used. I prefer average sized versus petite sized.  

     
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    Teaserama    March 18, 2010   Dunedin, Fl

    Sigh...

    So here is my two cents, no matter what someone is always going to put you down. When I was younger, in my HS days, Bar Drinking Days. I weighed slender than normal. That partying does that to you, you don't really eat normally. I never had a weight issue, didn't think I needed to diet, never starved myself. I considered myself healthy. Except ok I did drink a lot on the weekends and I should really quit smoking. Well everyone would ask if I had an eating disorder. Ok um, even if I did would I tell you? Probably not... but NO.. I don't! I mean I am extremely tall, and so being "slender" made me look really slender. I really couldn't help it.. I was really active. (I was 5'11 and 105 pds) Now I stopped partying, and stop smoking, and drink maybe once a mth and of course I have gained some weight. Now I am getting the wow you gained some weight, whats wrong, and you better not gain weight before the big day. Um excuse me? I am still 5'11 and now (120) I mean it's noticable but I still think I look healthy and Ok. People will never be happy, and will always label you one way or another. I think they are just pushing there own insecurities out on you. It isn't really fair, and if you are active, and healthy, and are a good role model. I think that is all that really should count. Blah... Ok I am going now.

     
    37.
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    Sugar bee
    Entangled    September 17, 2011   Carmel, CA

    I think insecurity and self-critcism are really conditioned into women of all sizes.  Men, too, nowadays (seriously, what is with the heterosexual men I know... they are the ones who are talking about getting into shape for weddings). 

    People who want to be cruel or will say insensitive things out of insecurity do it no matter what size you are.  There's a lot more fat-is-bad / fat-is-a-moral-issue bs going around than anti-skinny prejudice, but that's not to say people don't say cruel, critical things.  UGH.  Just because you're thin - naturally or unnaturally - doesn't mean you're not real or female.

    I hate that we're made to feel ashamed of our bodies, like they're something to apologize for at all sizes.  In answer to your question, I'm probably classified as petite (but athletic and muscular, not skinny), and don't get much negative feedback about my size, at least not to my face.  BUT I also operate on a no-negative-body-talk mentality.  I will not tolerate hearing other people be down on themselves, feel bad about eating, attach moral weight to exercise or food, talk about the scale, etc, etc.  Neither my body nor yours is public property. 

     
    38.
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    312 posts
    Helper bee
    MichelleMyBell    August 13 2010   London, Ontario CA

    I've been made to feel bad about my weight by other people.  I'm very petite (5'3" and 105lbs) and I'm 20 but I look younger than I am so people often assume that I'm a high school student.  The other day when I was at work some old lady - honest to God - asked me, "Is your mother feeding you enough?" She looked so concerned too.  I didn't know what to say!  I eat an okay diet and don't really excercise.  This is just my body. People are just rude sometimes.

     
    39.
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    Bumble bee
    mountain.bride    December 12, 2009   Australia

    I'm not skinny, nor genetically blessed. But I work hard :) One day I was really angry bc two overweight friends said how "lucky" I was to be the size I am. This is not luck!!! This is several hours at the gym a week, not eating as much bread or pasta as I would like, feeling guilty if I eat a meal that doesn't involve fruit or vegies, and generally looking after myself. I don't mind doing these things, particularly the gym as I find it makes life better in all sorts of ways, but I really resented people who couldn't be bothered doing any of the things I do implying that I look like this from pure luck. Not much in life comes from luck and this is no different. I don't think it's ok to comment on anyone's weight or shape - my (genetically blessed) cousin gets VERY cranky when people tell her to eat more. Especially when that person (like our aunt) is morbidly obese - cousin wants to tell her to eat less, but of course has more manners than that :)

     
    40.
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    2,627 posts
    Sugar bee
    LittlestBirds    July 24, 2010   Seattle, WA

    Sometimes we humans have a hard time describing something in a positive light without finding something opposite to cast in a negative light. There is a lot to love about heavy, curvy bodies, but I find that even the most well-intentioned people can cross the line into skinny-bashing when they talk about how great it is to have curves and be proud of them. I have friends who try to love their bodies in their ample fullness who sometimes accidentally make me feel insulted when they talk about how "anorexic" they looked when they weighed less. It makes sense, after all, what is pride if not seen in comparison to something viewed as inferior? It's hard to really love your body without somehow viewing it as superior to someone else's. Of course it's not okay for the media or anyone else to make someone feel like they are unattractive or unhealthy because of how fat or skinny they are (unless someone actually is extremely obese or underweight, in which case a serious conversation is appropriate). How difficult to accept and love our bodies while at the same time accepting and loving everyone else's as well. We have to try though.

     

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