Post # 1
As part of my school curriculum, I am spending 8 hours a week (for 2 months) at a Free Medical Clinic in an urban area. In addition I have been volunteering about 4-5 hours a week for the past 1 1/2 years at a local Free Medical Clinic (so there are two different places). I talk to a lot of these patients when I give them their medications. I see how hard most of these people are working to just try to get by. Are there people who don’t really try – yes. A good majority of the patients however have a job (or two) but just don’t make enough money to support their families, let alone pay for medical services. I’ve read multiple books on poverty and there are definitely a lot of factors that contribute to these situations (not going go into them here though).
Basically I kind of felt a little guilty about spending thousands of dollars on a wedding when there are people struggling so much to just get by everyday – feed their families, basic necessities, and medications that literally will keep them alive. I know that even if I had donated all the money we are putting towards the wedding to reputable organization it would only have a temporary effect (basically until the money runs out). So I volunteer my time. I wish I could do more though.
Sorry about the rambling. I’m just a little frustrated about this today. Are there any other Bees out there who volunteer their time?
Post # 3
I never really thought about it like that. But compared to most people, my wedding is almost as poor as they get…about $6,000.
Post # 4
I don’t volunteer, but I work with mentally ill adults, most of whom live off disability payments and welfare. So yes, I feel guilty when I think that the cost of my invitations is more money than some of them get every month. I feel guilty that my parents and FI’s parents are contributing money that they worked hard to earn, even though they are more than happy to give what they can. I feel guilty that I even want all the things I do want–flowers, fancy shoes, makeup/hair, nice invitations, etc.
Post # 5
I also feel guilty about money that family has contributed.
Post # 6
I dont volunteer, however i do have a sponsor child. I dont feel guilty about my wedding though because i dont see how i could possibly spend any less. As it is, the tables and chairs, officiant, photog/videog are all gifts from people. My dress was $140 on ebay, i dont see how i can get any cheaper than that! lol. Park permit, $100. Rental of mic’s a speakers? $100. Bridesmades…$100. So after everything is Said and done we will be spending around $4000. Thats small potatos lol. We were originally going to have a huge, all catered, all rented, all everything that you can think of spending money on wedding, but we changed our minds. nows the time to save while you can.
Post # 7
Since my budget is $2000 and it’s as cheap as it gets (not including honeymoon), I’m not feeling terrible. I’m getting married in my Church with my priest and very very close family that I love soo much there beside me.
Post # 8
I know I personally feel really bad about it when I actually sit down and think of it. I have what is considered a small budget (8000) but even when I break it down and think about it like I am spending eight thousand dollars on one day and it tends to make me rethink stuff but I we arent really splurging on anything at all.
Post # 9
I’ve struggled with similar thoughts. Although my family jokes that I’m May Boatwright, from “The Secret Life of Bees” (minus the developmental disability). Just because sometimes the troubles of the world weigh heavily on me. Could be why I became a social worker! Anyway, we’re spending more money than a lot of people who ever think of spending. All while so many people are finding it difficult to pay for their minimal needs. Its tough, to reconcile that people don’t have a place to sleep but I’m going to have a formal wedding. Still can’t really do much else but appreciate what I do have.
Post # 10
Thanks everyone! I’m glad I’m not the only one who has these thoughts sometimes. We aren’t having a huge wedding, but even spending by any means, but it’s still a lot for one day!
Post # 11
I really dont want to sound mean.. but..I actually dont feel guilty whats so ever. My FI and I worked hard for the money that we have.. all the money that we spend on our wedding is our money. I feel like we deserved to have a nice day for our selves.. its once in the life time that we actually get to spend so much money.
Post # 12
I feel a little guilty just because we could be putting it in savings but thats about it. We are paying for our wedding with our own money and we are keeping our budget pretty low. As far as volunteering, I used to. Now I dont have time between 2 kids and a full-time job but I help out when and where I can. We have had our stroke of bad luck on many occassions so I am just happy that we are able to have this day and pay for it. But I can tell you, I have been in the same situation as the people you are helping and any one of us could easily be in it again at any time.
Post # 13
We’re doing a wedding on a super tight budget to begin with (we even cut out the honeymoon)… but we still feel bad about it. We’re just graduating from college and are still on the look out for steady jobs… And this money could be going towards paying off our student loans or getting an apartment… I guess I haven’t really looked at it from a ‘give to the needy’ sort of thing since right now we’re just worried about paying *our* bills. I focus more on volunteering my time instead of my money though.
Post # 14
Yeah! I totally agree with you here. I’ve gone abroad on a few mission trips and done stuff domestically in Louisiana, Maine, Arizona and Indiana…I haven’t been able to volunteer much this year with wedding planning, but yeah…when I think about it sometimes I wonder why all this money, formality, and hassle is going into one day when all this money could be better spent somewhere else. That’s why I said screw the favors, we’re going to make some sort of donation instead to ease my mind a little. But that’s not even the point…I guess the point is the attitude in which you spend the money and resources you have. Obviously you want to have a good time but in all budgets there comes a point when you are being too extravagant. Our budget is under $10,000 which I don’t know if it’s a lot or a little compared to most weddings, but the FI and I are paying for 95% of it on our own, and we’re college seniors, and I’m grateful we won’t have to ask our parents to take on the bills because both sets of parents are out of jobs. So…I suppose all I can say is spend with discernment…
Post # 15
Actually yes I do feel guilty. We don’t have a lot of money. Matter of fact fiance lost his job earlier this year and is yet to get another. The job he’s planning on getting will take him away from home most of the time, but it would put us in a better position then ever before. I sometimes feel bad, but fiance and I talk alot about it and we really want this. We’re not going to go into debt and we’re still going to continue to save.I feel guilty about spending money period because it was hard earned money, but I don’t feel guilty about other people’s situations.
My family has struggled many times. My fiance has struggled many times. My fiance’s grandparents have struggled many times and are struggling currently, but I don’t feel guilty that we have been in bad situations and they’re not in the best. I don’t know how to explain it but i don’t feel bad about spending on my wedding knowing that people have a hard time out there. Everyone goes through hard times. God has a plan, we all just have to rely on Him.
Post # 16
I do feel guilty, especially since I saw on the news a few months ago that some bride was donating her entire wedding budget to Haiti relief. I’d love to, but this day means so much to so many people, I don’t want to give that all up. And I do agree with Mrs JellyBean that God has a plan and what I do with my wedding money won’t change that.