Post # 1
I was just thinking about this a few minutes ago. Before we got engaged and bought our house, all I could think about was buying a house and getting engaged. It consumed all my attention. Now, I’m counting down the days to the wedding – I can’t wait and just want the day to come already! I’ve also counted out all my birth control packs and can hardly wait to go off them after the wedding. I’m already planning in my head when to start TTC (don’t worry, I’m also talking to Fiance about it and we’re on the same page!) and when we might have our first child. To be honest with you, I’ve also already thought about the timing of our second (God willing that we’re even able to have children)!
Yesterday I was hanging out with Fiance and just realized how good we have it and how lucky we are to be exactly where we are in time right now. We are so happy and we have everything we need. I know I should be spending more time cherishing these “pre-married, pre-baby” days and enjoying them as much as I can while I can. I struggle with this. I’m a list maker. I love to “check things off” my lists. I think I also feel pressure to get everything done while my (elderly and not-super-healthy) parents are still around.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Years ago, my friend recommended a book called “The Power of Now” and I checked it out. The premise sounded great (about learning to live in the moment) but it didn’t seem to be an easy read; it seemed very wordy and repetitive and dull. I wonder if I should give it another chance, or something like it.
Post # 3
I think we can all identify with the feeling! I don’t know whether it is in our nature or a societal pressure, but it seems as though there is always the next step or the next thing to be wanting or having. That book sounds great, I will have to look it up!
Post # 4
@Juliepants: I definitely understand how you feel, and sometimes I feel I do the same thing. Like, before I got engaged I was almost consumed by anxiety and excitement to actually be proposed to, and then it happened. And after that I was like “Well, now I have to start planning a wedding!” Except, I really don’t. My wedding is over two years away, so I’m not starting any serious planning for at least another 4 or 5 months. I’m definitely making a conscious effort these days now that my “OMG propose already!” days are over to just enjoy being engaged and being where we are right now before life gets really crazy. I also really understand the thing about wanting to get things done while your parents are around. I only have my mom, and she’s a drinker and a smoker and not in the best of health and I think about it everyday that if I don’t do something soon enough (like getting married or having kids) then she might miss it and I’ll never forgive myself.
Sorry to write you a novel, but I just really empathize with you 🙂
Post # 5
I find myself stressing about or just overthinking the future. I think it’s normal to try and have our whole lives planned out but there are some things that just don’t go as planned. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the future that I don’t appreciate the present. As long as you can appreciate the now and also make lists go for it! After all women are great multi taskers. I don’t think you need a book to tell you to live more in the moment. If you feel that the future is occupying too much space in your head evict it and take the moment in.
Post # 6
I know what you mean. I always need something to look forward to and to focus on. Recently I had the realization that I’m in a really good place right now in life and I’m so thankful for it.
Post # 7
@MapleMoose: That describes me perfectly. Especially lately, I always feel like I need something on the horizon to look forward to or life seems so dull. It’s terrible, and I’m really trying to change that and focus on now and what I have to look forward to every single day.
Post # 8
Thanks girls, it’s good to hear from others. I feel like I KNOW I should be “enjoying the now” but I have a hard time with it. I seem to always feel rushed or like I’m wasting time if I take things slowly.
That’s a good point about societal pressures. Maybe I’ve been trained to always be looking to the next Big Thing.
@CarolinaCola: Don’t worry about the “novel”, haha, I’m so glad to have your perspective!
@mexicanabeibi: That’s true, women are pretty good at multi-tasking!
@MapleMoose: That sounds just like what I’m thinking. So glad that you’re able to focus on the good stuff right now, WTG! 🙂
Post # 9
I feel like this sometimes, especially in an LDR. I’m always counting down until the next visit or holiday, or graduation in May so we can move closer. I try to make an effort to live in the moment but it’s hard!
Post # 10
Same here! Lots of waiting for the proposal, now I’m counting down to the wedding, graduation, the bar exam, getting a job, finding our own place, eventually babies….oy! I need to just remember that I only get the one life, so I better ENJOY all of the moments I’m in rather than planning out all of the times that aren’t guaranteed to me.
Not sure if you’re a country fan, but Trace Atkins has a song called ‘You’re Gonna Miss This.’ It could be the background music for this post 🙂
Post # 11
Yeah, I’m a list maker. We don’t want kids for a few years, and have a house already, and I’m not really into decorating it etc, so I have no idea what I’ll do post wedding!
It’s partly being gen y, partly just my personality. I don’t know what to do abt it either.
Post # 12
This is something I’ve never really had a hard time with. My sister is very much like you and from an early age I can remember thinking, “why is she in such a hurry to do everythig?” lol
I never even considered marriage until I met my Darling Husband. That worked out well 🙂 but I’m sure I would have happily died an old maid if I’d never met him.
I chose my college major based on what I thought was the most interesting and fun.I did great but there’s not much you can do with it without grad school so now I’m doing nothing related to my major.
I’m terrible at making plans and terrible at remembering things that aren’t right in front of me–which makes me a pretty bad friend since I’m always so in the moment that remembering to email someone or set up times to meet is a colossal struggle.
Also, I can get so engaged in something that I zone out and am thus super jumpy 🙂 Darling Husband laughs at me but I jump almost every time he walks down the stairs because I’m so focused on what I’m doing at my computer that I don’t notice him till he’s right there! Which can make me seem guilty or unsocialable.
Just wanted to give you the other side of the coin. Being in the moment is a great habit to build, but the other side can also be a strength.
Post # 13
You are not alone. I can totally relate. And it drives me bananas! I try so hard to just live in the moment. I am always looking forward to something, never really live in the moment when that something comes. Like you, I am so very blessed with my current life and should be so happy to live in the moment. I have no idea how to do better at this. One thing that does work is sometimes something hits me and I just stop and relize how great the current moment is. So, if I am out with friends, at dinner with Darling Husband or hanging with family…there is a point that I realize how special and great things are I allow myself to live in the moment. Its funny, my orientation to my job is what made me realize this. They kept brining up being there when you are talking with someone. e.g. when someone calls you, dont be multitasking, checking email, etc. you should put everything down and concentrate on that conversation. That stuck with me and I try to do it. I am sure that 75% of my day I do not but I usually realize it and than try to focus on NOW. 😀
Post # 14
@bookworm88: I bet the LDR just makes it harder!
@indibee: AWW, totally teared up at the song. Bawww. *sniffles*
@winerygirl: I wonder if it is a generational thing in a way. I’ll ask my mom if she was like this. 🙂
@kala_way: It’s funny, because your last 4 paragraphs sound just like me, too! I guess I’m more of a “future plan” list maker than an actual organized person, hahaha. I zone out so often I worry that my friends think I’m socially inept sometimes. :S
@bestbuddies: I have those “stop and be there” moments, too. I guess with the right thinking, we can both have more of those. 🙂 I liked your idea from work about focussing your attention onto one thing, I bet that strategy can help in any situation (like when I’m out with friends and feeling distracted instead of being a good listener)!
Post # 15
@Juliepants: yeah, that strategy helps a lot. And also, I notice other people not doing it. Like, when I am talking to someone and I can totally tell that I dont have their attention.
Post # 16
Yeah, but with daily life, not really milestones for me. I was just talking to a friend about how time just flies. And I was like of course its flying, we spend 4 or 5 days of the week just wishing the days away faster so that it would be the weekend agai!