(Closed) Do you ever feel there is more to your life…

posted 7 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yup.  I totally undertand.

I feel like I’m in a dead end job.. there is a chance for more pay, but not upward movement.  I had big dreams too, but was too scared to go after them.

I remind myself that I don’t know what would have happened if I had taken that jump… maybe my life would have been more stressful, less comfortable.  I wouldn’t have met my husband, who I love more than life.

I like to think that there are a lot of good things to come in this life & it’s just about making the best out of the situation that you are in.  There are no guarantees that the “other life” would have turned out to be so perfect.

The thing about facebook profiles, it’s easy to make yourself look like you have the perfect life.  No one really knows what’s going on behind closed doors.

I wish I had better advice, but I just try to think of how lucky I am now.  We are both healthy, happy & living okay thru the recession.  Sure I get a down day every once in a while, but to be totally cliche “the sun will come out tomorrow!”

Post # 5
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was seriously having this same panic attack yesterday!! I think it’s because my birthday (27) is next week, and I’m so far from being where I wanted to be in my life now.

I haven’t traveled anywhere I wanted to, I loathe my job, I hate where I live. The only success I feel like I have is the fact that I have an outstanding relationship and am married to my best friend.

I was on the verge of deleting my Facebook account yesterday for this very reason. I get down when I see people from high school living their dreams, although I always feel proud of them. Hell, I went to high school with America’s youngest billionaire; way to make myself feel like crap!

I think the thing that’s most frustrating is that I just don’t know how to begin getting things right. I don’t know how to find a job I love when I have no idea what I want to do. I have no say where we live because my husband has always made it clear he never wants to leave where we are. I can’t find anyone to travel with me (mostly because of $) and I really don’t want to go by myself. It’s just a difficult situation to be in.

It’s comforting to know there are others out there in my same boat, though! 

Post # 7
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@stephinPA: Awww. You’re sweet.

Strangely, I still feel like there’s no time. I mean, rationally, I know I can start over and do what I love, but there is this horrible nagging feeling in my head that says “you’ve missed the boat.” I guess it’s also a struggle thinking about starting a family and the fact that we’ll have to push that back if I start something new, and then I panic about getting too old to have children. Again, not really rational, but fear is a powerful thing. 

I currently live in Central Florida, which is seriously like the armpit of America. I always said I would get out of here as soon as I could, but then I started dating my husband who’s family is an original settler of this city (they actually have their own cemetery). This means his entire family lives here, no one leaves, and he will be a 3rd generation owner of a large company that he loves and has serious pride in. I knew he would never leave, so I made my choice, but it still sucks some days.

I also work for his company, because about 5 years ago, they fired a couple of people and they asked me to step in temporarily. So yeah, you know how that goes. I’m still here. And I freaking hate accounting. 

Gah. I’m depressing myself. 

But I’ve always planned on doing something artistic, where I get to meet and work with great, talented, intelligent people. What this is, I still have no idea. 

Man, sorry I’m writing so much!! It was really weighing on my mind yesterday. 

 

Post # 9
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@stephinPA: I’ve gotten that way sometimes too, and it makes it harder when you see someone you know suceeding at something you wanted to do yourself.

I used to sing, a lot, and pretty darn well (if I do say so myself).  But because of issues stemming from my childhood, I never thought I would be good enough, pretty enough, or have enough of a presence to make it.

Now I’m 31, and way to old for it.. so I think a LOT about how I wish I would have gone for it when I was younger.. but then I look at celebrities like Brittnay, Mariah, etc and see how it’s really affected their life, psyche, etc.  And I’m not sure I would have handled the pressure well either.  But alas, there is still a huge part of me that loves that, and wishes I could have had the guts to at least try.

So I understand.  It can be depressing…  Now I don’t sing at all, ever, and I feel like I wasted my gift… that’s painful to think about.

Post # 10
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@stephinPA: I’ve done this multiple times. It keeps me sane. But, the classes are almost always taught by people in their 70’s to people in their 80’s. Seriously. I am ALWAYS the youngest person by decades in the classes. So I kind of feel left out. 

 

@Ella1978: I just want to say I’m sorry. Wasting your gift is painful. I read this blog post yesterday, too, which spoke to me and was part of my breakdown yesterday. Not the acting per se, but the whole “lying to myself and trying to make myself believe it” bit. Maybe you’ll find something in it to inspire you:

http://pacingthepanicroom.blogspot.com/2010/09/sometimes-you-have-to-stop-believing.html

Post # 11
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@pinky44: I understand where the guy in the blog is coming from. I went to school as a back-up.  Got an education so that if I didn’t make it, I had a degree to fall back on.  But when it came time to pull the string & make the move, I couldn’t do it.  I had all those years of insecurities telling me not to go.  I didn’t know anyone there, it was incredibly expensive, I didn’t have any contacts, I didn’t have the first clue what I was doing.

I put it off, I put it off, and put it off again.  Here I am 13 years after I decided school was a back up plan & I’m working in the professional world.. MILES from what I really loved and wanted to do.  I’m too old, I still don’t have any contacts & now I’m married, I have aging parents & I own a house.. I’m more rooted that some trees!

I guess my solution has always been to just push it back down whenever it comes up.. but that leads to a bad day, as Steph pointed out.  It doesn’t help that I’m wirting from my “job”… just solidifies it a bit.

Post # 13
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@stephinPA: Aww, you are too sweet.  I was in church choir, high school choir, musicals.. I got to college and my friends used to get me tipsy and take me to karaoke! Ha.  But that was probably the last time I performed for anyone 🙂

I LOVE tap dancing.. probably my favorite form of dance to watch.  Totally in awe of people that can do that!

Post # 14
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m so glad that you posted this because I am feeling the exact. same. way. I just turned 27 a couple of months ago, we’re practically married and buying a house, I’m working a job that I “don’t mind” for not a lot of money, everyone on facebook is actually doing something with their lives, and I currently live 20 miles away from where I was born. What the hell am I doing? And how do I start doing something better?

I know that I want to go to grad school and do something different, but I have no idea what that is AND I feel like it’s impossible for me to actually get in. I’ve tried, though it was for something that I didn’t completely have my heart in. I keep waiting for something to happen to tell me what to do next, I keep looking, but so far nada. When I step back and look at my life as a timeline, I can’t help but feel that so much of it has been empty space. I don’t LIVE. I exist.

Post # 16
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@stephinPA: Very cool site. 

The topic ‘Do you ever feel there is more to your life…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors