@YUNO1: mature response.
OP to answer your question, I don't think people like to argue persey, I think they like to be right. I think everyone in life wants to be right to some extent, but some place more importance on it than others, so some can't let go as easy as others.
I'm a let it go person, so I don't really have any issues with this in my life. I know some stubborn people who always need to be right or to have the last word. I just let them because those people cannot be reasoned with when they're in the midst of an argument.
Everyone's wired differently, that's what keeps things interesting in life!
@Stargaze31: I just let them think they're winning. Most of the time, if you give those people enough rope, they'll end up hanging themselves.
Most women have strong beliefs. I think it depends what the topic of discussion is. I try to avoid arguments but will stand up for myself when necessary. I tend to have a "why can't we all just be friends?" outlook:)
@Stargaze31: Unfortunately, I can be one of those people sometimes! When I feel really stressed out or overwhelmed, sometimes I just need a good argument to let all my emotions out lol pathetic I know!
I notice A LOT of (stupid) arguments online. Something about anonymity gives people the courage to say things and argue over things they wouldn't otherwise argue about in person.
I'm in between, so I can see your point about people liking to argue. I like a good debate (I think I get this from my grandfather), but I don't get into online arguments - just in real life.
It depends on the situation, too. I'll argue a point with my family or DH, but if it's an acquaintance or friend who I know will either be offended or refuse to hear another point of view, I just let it go.
@Birdi: Most women people have strong beliefs. (Fixed for you)
--
That being said, like stated above, there are some subjects that people feel very strongly about. I have a few "hot button" topics that make me foam at the mouth, but thankfully they come up very rarely.
It is admirable that someone has a strong, stern opinion, and I myself quite enjoy debating and peaceful arguments. You can learn a lot about a subject and a person if you're in a polite debate with them.
Some things I agree are petty and need to be let go, but what is petty? Petty to one person may be a mountain to another.
@Stargaze31: I'm trying to be less like that. I used to be a lot like that but I just ended up feeling like crap after.
It's so easy to get roped into arguments... especially online. I generally try to stay away from contentious posts on here, for example, but I am not always able to.
I like to feel like I got the last word in... but I am slowly learning that I won't convince someone who doesn't want to be convinced.
Avoiding the argument in the first place is the best thing for me!
@MrsTillerResq: I notice A LOT of (stupid) arguments online. Something about anonymity gives people the courage to say things and argue over things they wouldn't otherwise argue about in person.
This is exactly what I was going to say. People think their ballsy & tough shit when they get online. It's ridiculous. & the name calling & putting others down has gotten beyond out of control. I can't even fathom what it'll be like ten years from now when it's this bad already.
@Hyperventilate: Agree, Men do as well, I had Op's comment about females being stereotypically more argumentative in mind when I commented :)
@throughthebarricades: Agree!
Yes! My ex loved to argue... it could be snowing outside and he would argue that it's not just for arguments sake.
There's a couple people on here who definitely have that trait! I would never name names though!
Yep. Have you read some of the more controversial threads on here? You will usually see one or two bees get ganged up on for saying something the wrong way or because they were brave enough to disagree. I will usually see their comment and think, "Oh boy..here it goes..."
I have learned to keep my opinion short so as not to give any ammunition and not argue with negative responses (although against my better judgement I will give in sometimes), it tends to get out of control and ends up going on for 10 pages... sometimes I will intervene if I think someone is being treated poorly, other times I just stay out of it. I just don't think its really fair to jump all over someone's s**** (Sorry!) for having a different opinion, especially on the internet when you don't know them or things can be misinterpreted. If anything though, this board has taught me to respect other's when I disagree with their view and keep the conversation civil. I am actually starting to respect a few Bees that are bold enough to express their views and not care what others think of them. I will go ahead and name one as being PinkMermaid (I think that is her username), I might not always agree with her view and she usually has the minority opinion but she isn't afraid to state it. I have been pretty impressed by her.
@givemecouture: I know what you're saying ! There was one person I've come across on this site that must have been miserable 24/7 ! I think she was recently bounced from the Bee though.
@soontobemrsm11: Yeah, that's the trouble with the internet..
Guidelines for expressing opinions (from The Taming of the Shrewd Tongue
by Sarah Elizabeth Forbes)
My FIL loves to argue. The more upset you are the happier he is. He will disagree just to start an arguement, and it probably is just for the sake of being right. He likes to hold power above everyone else, and he feels he earns respect by making others agree with him.He isn't happy unless he's mad.
Misery loves company :-)
I like to argue about some things. Not argue in a hateful way or just to make people upset or just to be right, if that makes sense. But discussion, debate, arguments, discourse...I think all of that is good and fun if everyone is respectful. Always depends on what the topic is of course. Because of my background I've gotten into a lot discussions/debates on religion. I enjoy it (moreso in real life, but sometimes online too).
@MrsWBS: Spot on with the "people like to be right" point. Although that is not always true, some people do really just like to argue....but more often than not, it is the need to be right.
@Stargaze31: I totally hear you. Rant or not, your post is a reality and I too see it all the time. Someimes I see it in myself. For me, I will only really argue about topics that affect me, my lifestyle or my loved ones. You know what I mean? So in that sense, I only really argue with people I care about. Co-workers, acquaintances, neighbors...I honestly coulnd't care less what they say/think. If my co-worker starts going off about how horrible it is that her Gucci bag broke and she can only use her LV or Dior until she buys another Gucci, is really one of those things you just say "Wow, that is horrible! How can you go on living?" and Let it go....because in reality I want to call her a brand name wh0re and to stfu because that is not a problem to whine about. Not sure if I explained myself correctly.
Some people at some point in their day do just like to get a rise out of you though.
But yeah, just take a deeeeeep breath and as they say in my country (and this is a bad translation) "Let ignorant people have their way".
PS. Not saying that those who argue are ignorant, but getting mad and continuing a conversation that won't affect anyone or that is simply going on because someone wants to change the other person's beliefs...is ignorant behavior. Justletitgo.
This describes my FIL pretty well. He loves to argue, or as he calls it "debate." However, he only likes to argue about topics that interest him, which mostly all relate to religion. I try not to engage him in these types of conversations, since they tend to last forever without having any sort of resolution, but I still get sucked in from time to time.
I think it has a lot to do with pride. Some people let that take them over. They always want the last word, they always want to win the arguement. You can never win by tearing your relationship down with petty arguements. Weather it be a relationship with an SO, family member or friend.
@Bichon Frise: Just had to say that that sounds exactly like my FFIL! He loves to argue about religion, and knowing that I am not religious in any sense. It's so hard for me to keep my cool when he talks about putting my future children through the same catholic rituals that his sons went through. Ohhhh no you don't.
You want to see it happen first-hand?
Just do a post about moissanite or diamond here on the BEE and see people go absolutely nuts. There's nothing more to say on the matter yet people will keep it going until the end of our time.
@Mimoza: Are you sure we don't have the same FIL? Lol. Mine also loves to talk about the benefits of raising kids Catholic, and I want no part of it!
@Bichon Frise: Ugh. That makes us SILs!! :D Does he also raise his voice when you try and utter anything to say "but I feel..."...All I get back is "YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN SOMETHING!!!". Smh. Seriously? You raised your kids your (catholic) way, they turned out great and never go to church except for weddings. My parents raised me their (non religious) way, I turned out great, I never go to church except for weddings.
It's just tough when people argue about things that will affect my life and the people I love...and I feel like my kids are definitely included in that category. That's really the hardest to resist and just walk away saying "ok, whatever you say" which is what I resort to...
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Sorry in advance if this sounds like a rant. I guess it kind of is. I don't get it. It seems that some people just want to keep an argument going no matter what. Just like the expression of beating a dead horse.
My ex was like that, but for some reason it seems to be stereotypically females and not males. Some people just really need attitude adjustments or need to stop and think "Why does this matter and why can't I just let it go?" It just seems like such a petty attitude to have.
Anger issues? An argumentative personality? Gets their blood pumping? What!?!?
Anyone know people like this? and I'm not just talking in person but also online. FB, twitter, message boards have their share too. How do you deal with it? Or do you just avoid them altogether?