Sorry in advance if this sounds like a rant. I guess it kind of is. I don’t get it. It seems that some people just want to keep an argument going no matter what. Just like the expression of beating a dead horse.
My ex was like that, but for some reason it seems to be stereotypically females and not males. Some people just really need attitude adjustments or need to stop and think “Why does this matter and why can’t I just let it go?” It just seems like such a petty attitude to have.
Anger issues? An argumentative personality? Gets their blood pumping? What!?!?
Anyone know people like this? and I’m not just talking in person but also online. FB, twitter, message boards have their share too. How do you deal with it? Or do you just avoid them altogether?
@HappySky7: mature response.
OP to answer your question, I don’t think people like to argue persey, I think they like to be right. I think everyone in life wants to be right to some extent, but some place more importance on it than others, so some can’t let go as easy as others.
I’m a let it go person, so I don’t really have any issues with this in my life. I know some stubborn people who always need to be right or to have the last word. I just let them because those people cannot be reasoned with when they’re in the midst of an argument.
Everyone’s wired differently, that’s what keeps things interesting in life!
@Stargaze31: I just let them think they’re winning. Most of the time, if you give those people enough rope, they’ll end up hanging themselves.
Most women have strong beliefs. I think it depends what the topic of discussion is. I try to avoid arguments but will stand up for myself when necessary. I tend to have a “why can’t we all just be friends?” outlook:)
@Stargaze31: Unfortunately, I can be one of those people sometimes! When I feel really stressed out or overwhelmed, sometimes I just need a good argument to let all my emotions out lol pathetic I know!
I notice A LOT of (stupid) arguments online. Something about anonymity gives people the courage to say things and argue over things they wouldn’t otherwise argue about in person.
I’m in between, so I can see your point about people liking to argue. I like a good debate (I think I get this from my grandfather), but I don’t get into online arguments – just in real life.
It depends on the situation, too. I’ll argue a point with my family or DH, but if it’s an acquaintance or friend who I know will either be offended or refuse to hear another point of view, I just let it go.
@Birdi: Most women people have strong beliefs. (Fixed for you)
That being said, like stated above, there are some subjects that people feel very strongly about. I have a few “hot button” topics that make me foam at the mouth, but thankfully they come up very rarely.
It is admirable that someone has a strong, stern opinion, and I myself quite enjoy debating and peaceful arguments. You can learn a lot about a subject and a person if you’re in a polite debate with them.
Some things I agree are petty and need to be let go, but what is petty? Petty to one person may be a mountain to another.
@Stargaze31: I’m trying to be less like that. I used to be a lot like that but I just ended up feeling like crap after.
It’s so easy to get roped into arguments… especially online. I generally try to stay away from contentious posts on here, for example, but I am not always able to.
I like to feel like I got the last word in… but I am slowly learning that I won’t convince someone who doesn’t want to be convinced.
Avoiding the argument in the first place is the best thing for me!
@MrsTillerResq: I notice A LOT of (stupid) arguments online. Something about anonymity gives people the courage to say things and argue over things they wouldn’t otherwise argue about in person.
This is exactly what I was going to say. People think their ballsy & tough shit when they get online. It’s ridiculous. & the name calling & putting others down has gotten beyond out of control. I can’t even fathom what it’ll be like ten years from now when it’s this bad already.
@Hyperventilate: Agree, Men do as well, I had Op’s comment about females being stereotypically more argumentative in mind when I commented
Yes! My ex loved to argue… it could be snowing outside and he would argue that it’s not just for arguments sake.
There’s a couple people on here who definitely have that trait! I would never name names though!
Yep. Have you read some of the more controversial threads on here? You will usually see one or two bees get ganged up on for saying something the wrong way or because they were brave enough to disagree. I will usually see their comment and think, “Oh boy..here it goes…”
I have learned to keep my opinion short so as not to give any ammunition and not argue with negative responses (although against my better judgement I will give in sometimes), it tends to get out of control and ends up going on for 10 pages… sometimes I will intervene if I think someone is being treated poorly, other times I just stay out of it. I just don’t think its really fair to jump all over someone’s s**** (Sorry!) for having a different opinion, especially on the internet when you don’t know them or things can be misinterpreted. If anything though, this board has taught me to respect other’s when I disagree with their view and keep the conversation civil. I am actually starting to respect a few Bees that are bold enough to express their views and not care what others think of them. I will go ahead and name one as being PinkMermaid (I think that is her username), I might not always agree with her view and she usually has the minority opinion but she isn’t afraid to state it. I have been pretty impressed by her.
@givemecouture: I know what you’re saying ! There was one person I’ve come across on this site that must have been miserable 24/7 ! I think she was recently bounced from the Bee though.
@soontobemrsm11: Yeah, that’s the trouble with the internet..
Guidelines for expressing opinions (from The Taming of the Shrewd Tongue
by Sarah Elizabeth Forbes)
- Just because you have an opinion does not mean you have to voice it.
- Not voicing your opinion doesn’t mean you don’t have one.
- Voicing your opinion doesn’t make it true. Truth is absolute; opinions are not.
- Not voicing your opinion doesn’t make you wrong.
- Just because you have an opinion doesn’t make you right.
- Not voicing your opinion is not admitting you are wrong.
- Not voicing your opinion does not mean another’s opinions are correct.
- Just because your opinion is true doesn’t make it appropriate.
- Voicing an opinion about a topic which you know little or nothing about makes you look very foolish.
- Just because you think you are right doesn’t make you right.
- Just because you are sincere doesn’t make you right. You could be sincerely wrong.
- Do not express your opinions when you are angry. Anger intensifies emotions causing your opinions to seem more extreme.