Post # 1
Well, can’t make a poll for this because well…new Weddingbee is kind of sucking on that front. I am kind of bored on this Sunday night and can’t fall asleep (thanks daylight savings!!).
It’s really a shame, but I have decided to stop asking my good friend (was my MOH) to hang out in the past few months because she doesn’t like spending money (it’s not an affordability thing, she admits to being cheap). I don’t want to spend lots of money, but going to the second run theater ($1.50) or getting frozen yogurt ($3) would be fun every now and then. She has also recently got on a “if her husband has to work on the weekend, then she needs to stay home and clean/wait for him.” Ok, that’s fine I guess, but she even admits to being bored.
Ugh, I have just decided to stop texting and asking her to hang out. It’s a bummer because two of my other good friends recently moved out of town, but I am tired of asking her to hang out and her not wanting to do anything. Fortunately she still likes working out, so we exercise together 3 days a week.
I wish making new friends as an adult (outside of college/school) were easier. I don’t know if it is because the workplace is so different or there are just less interactions/opportunities to meet people naturally, but since graduating college 4 years ago, I have found it hard to make new friends.
So bees, do you have any friends in recent years that you just stopped asking to hang out for one reason or another? Have you had trouble making new friends as an adult?
Post # 2
Honestly I think your friend just wants her space. If I hung out with someone three times a week I’d difinitely would like a little space during the rest of my downtime.
However I know how hard it is the form close connections outside of school/college. Have you tried meetup? It’s a great place to find others with like interest or in current situations similar to yours. Also you could always try a class to learn a new skill or hobby so you can meet people that way too.
Post # 3
bmo88: I know exactly what you mean! I moved 3 hours away 2 years ago, so meeting my friends in hometown was a weekend every 6months or so(when friends were actually available). Now that I’ve moved back to home town(3weeks ago) every single person in my phone contact is either too tired, busy working(apparently 20hr a day, 7 days) or just not in the mood. Mind you, the whole time I was away eveyone wants to hang out and wishes I was back home.
So frustrating! But Im joining a zumba fitness class on Thursday and also going to craft classes, so I hope to meet some new friends that actually want to meet up!
Good luck on your friend search!
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
Yep. I’m having the same problem. I moved a few hours away from all my friends and it’s been really hard to make new ones here.
It sounds like your friend is definitely pushing you away. I don’t remember reading why she isn’t your MOH and I know that’s not the point of the post, but do you think she could be upset about that?
Post # 5
I met a lot of friends by joining a ski and social club when I moved back to the city after university. I actually met FI there as well. We ski together all winter, there’s a social every Thursday and there’s events periodically in the summer. We also will just hang out in small groups (the club has over 1000 members, so obviously I have a small group of like 20 friends, and from there 4 – 5 of us will go to the bar to watch the hockey game, grab a beer, go to the movies, etc.)
I’ve founds sports clubs the best way to make friends, but I’m sure joining a group that interests you would work just as well, a choir, a craft club, volunteering, you’ll meet people that you already have an interest in common.
Post # 6
bmo88: I totally feel ya! I got ditched by a friend who is tight on cash when I planned for us to get together for free yogurt on National Yogurt day!
My best friend and former roommate moved across country, one of the downfalls of living in a city where no one things real people live lol.
I wish there was a magical answer 🙁 but it’s definitely hard as an adult to make friends.
Post # 7
Personally, seeing a friend 3 times a week is already waaaayyy too frequent for me. Between work, time with SO, time for chores and errands, and much needed alone time, there isn’t much time left over. I usually meet up with friends about once a week. It sounds like your friend truly enjoys your company and wants to be a good friend, she just needs some alone time and makes up flimsy excuses to spare your feelings.
Have you looked up Meetup.com or checked your local library/community centers? There are lots of special interest groups, women’s groups, book clubs, where people are looking to make friends.
Post # 8
Definitely. I have friends who I hang out with less and some I dont’ see anymore for various reasons, we live farther apart, they have kids, our schedules don’t match up… It’s tough but it does make the times we are able to get together more special.
When I first moved to DC a few years ago, I went to a couple of meetup groups to try to meet people. I made good friends at one of the groups.
Now, DH and I are having trouble meeting couple friends. We don’t have many!
Post # 9
bmo88: I’m with you!
I’m from a very small town where most people grow up, stay friends and see each other ALL THE TIME… married or not. I don’t live there anymore and have been in my current city for about 4 years now. Hanging out with someone once a month or every 6 weeks doesn’t give me a chance to get to know them on a real personal level. I have a lot of awesome pseudo-friends [ they’re really cool girls, but we are just friendly– not extremely close], but no really GOOD friends in my new home state. Ugh, it sucks. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to meet new people ( yoga, a young professionals group, through girls nights with some people I have met)… but I just have not found a group yet to allow me in their circle lol.
It’s frustrating, but that’s life and growing up I guess. Sometimes I think I am the only one experiencing this, but I see posts like this from time to time here and it reminds me that there ARE people out there looking for friends, and I have just not met them yet lol.
Post # 10
bmo88: Ugh, I totally understand. I’ve even tried sites for making new friends, and I just meet weird people! Like, this one girl cussed me out, and called me a fat ugly b*tch, because I didn’t text her back soon enough!! WTH???
Post # 11
I saw join meetup.com and find people in your area that likes to do the same things you do! I recently moved to a new city for work… the only people I knew were the people I worked with… and who wants to see the same ppl at work and at play with the exception of a few! So i found 2 groups that I like to hangout with, a group for women who do everything from brunch, drink, trips, moives etc, things that just aren’t enjoyable by myself and another group that does a lot of happy hour events but that is more targeted toward networking, which is big in my field. I say join, try it out and forget your “friend” Im sure when you tell her how much fun you’ve been having with new ppl she may want to hang out again!
Post # 12
NovaRising: We actually just do an exercise class two days a week and then a regular class one day a week. So we don’t talk or hang out during the class, it’s just the 30 min workout. I thought it might be a space thing too, so I asked her. She said that wasn’t it. She is ok with hanging out at her place or watching movies (basically not spending money), but that gets old after a while.
Post # 13
bmo88: Oh OK so she’s really just a cheap ass! LOL, sorry well I still stand by my suggestions.