Get tired of asking friends to hang out? Is it hard to make friends as an adult?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3200 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Honestly I think your friend just wants her space.  If I hung out with someone three times a week I’d difinitely would like a little space during the rest of my downtime.  

However I know how hard it is the form close connections outside of school/college.  Have you tried meetup?  It’s a great place to find others with like interest or in current situations similar to yours.  Also you could always try a class to learn a new skill or hobby so you can meet people that way too.

Post # 3
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

bmo88:  I know exactly what you mean! I moved 3 hours away 2 years ago, so meeting my friends in hometown was a weekend every 6months or so(when friends were actually available). Now that I’ve moved back to home town(3weeks ago) every single person in my phone contact is either too tired, busy working(apparently 20hr a day, 7 days) or just not in the mood. Mind you, the whole time I was away eveyone wants to hang out and wishes I was back home.

So frustrating! But Im joining a zumba fitness class on Thursday and also going to craft classes, so I hope to meet some new friends that actually want to meet up!

Good luck on your friend search!

Post # 4
Member
6865 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

Yep. I’m having the same problem. I moved a few hours away from all my friends and it’s been really hard to make new ones here. 

It sounds like your friend is definitely pushing you away. I don’t remember reading why she isn’t your MOH and I know that’s not the point of the post, but do you think she could be upset about that?

Post # 5
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I met a lot of friends by joining a ski and social club when I moved back to the city after university.  I actually met FI there as well.  We ski together all winter, there’s a social every Thursday and there’s events periodically in the summer.  We also will just hang out in small groups (the club has over 1000 members, so obviously I have a small group of like 20 friends, and from there 4 – 5 of us will go to the bar to watch the hockey game, grab a beer, go to the movies, etc.) 

I’ve founds sports clubs the best way to make friends, but I’m sure joining a group that interests you would work just as well, a choir, a craft club, volunteering, you’ll meet people that you already have an interest in common.  

Post # 6
Member
992 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

bmo88:  I totally feel ya! I got ditched by a friend who is tight on cash when I planned for us to get together for free yogurt on National Yogurt day!

My best friend and former roommate moved across country, one of the downfalls of living in a city where no one things real people live lol.

I wish there was a magical answer 🙁 but it’s definitely hard as an adult to make friends. 

Post # 7
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Personally, seeing a friend 3 times a week is already waaaayyy too frequent for me.  Between work, time with SO, time for chores and errands, and much needed alone time, there isn’t much time left over.   I usually meet up with friends about once a week.  It sounds like your friend truly enjoys your company and wants to be a good friend, she just needs some alone time and makes up flimsy excuses to spare your feelings.          

Have you looked up Meetup.com or checked your local library/community centers? There are lots of special interest groups, women’s groups, book clubs, where people are looking to make friends.

Post # 8
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Definitely. I have friends who I hang out with less and some I dont’ see anymore for various reasons, we live farther apart, they have kids, our schedules don’t match up…  It’s tough but it does make the times we are able to get together more special.

When I first moved to DC a few years ago, I went to a couple of meetup groups to try to meet people.  I made good friends at one of the groups. 

Now, DH and I are having trouble meeting couple friends.  We don’t have many!

Post # 9
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

bmo88:  I’m with you!

I’m from a very small town where most people grow up, stay friends and see each other ALL THE TIME… married or not. I don’t live there anymore and have been in my current city for about 4 years now. Hanging out with someone once a month or every 6 weeks doesn’t give me a chance to get to know them on a real personal level. I have a lot of awesome pseudo-friends [ they’re really cool girls, but we are just friendly– not extremely close], but no really GOOD friends in my new home state. Ugh, it sucks. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to meet new people ( yoga, a young professionals group, through girls nights with some people I have met)… but I just have not found a group yet to allow me in their circle lol.

It’s frustrating, but that’s life and growing up I guess. Sometimes I think I am the only one experiencing this, but I see posts like this from time to time here and it reminds me that there ARE people out there looking for friends, and I have just not met them yet lol.

Post # 10
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

bmo88:  Ugh, I totally understand.  I’ve even tried sites for making new friends, and I just meet weird people!  Like, this one girl cussed me out, and called me a fat ugly b*tch, because I didn’t text her back soon enough!!  WTH???

Post # 11
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

I saw join meetup.com and find people in your area that likes to do the same things you do! I recently moved to a new city for work… the only people I knew were the people I worked with… and who wants to see the same ppl at work and at play with the exception of a few! So i found 2 groups that I like to hangout with, a group for women who do everything from brunch, drink, trips, moives etc, things that just aren’t enjoyable by myself and another group that does a lot of happy hour events but that is more targeted toward networking, which is big in my field. I say join, try it out and forget your “friend” Im sure when you tell her how much fun you’ve been having with new ppl she may want to hang out again!

Post # 13
Member
3200 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

bmo88:  Oh OK so she’s really just a cheap ass!  LOL, sorry well I still stand by my suggestions.  

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