Post # 1
I just wanted to know if anyone ever had/has doubts about getting married to their boyfriend/fiances/husbands?
Tonight I started feeling a little overwhelmed about things and I’m not sure why. I’m not yet engaged, but I know it’s coming. But my boyfriend started talking about things like decorating our future house together and I got a little panicked.
Has this happened to anyone else?
I love him so much, and I do see myself marrying him and being totally happy.
I think it’s just the fact that we’ve gone from joking around about our “future” life to actually now planning one, and it’s kind of a lot to take in. but I could use some advice!
Post # 3
@alwaysamaid: well I’ve had my share of doubts, recently I had a freak out because a few friends have said that they don’t understand why SO and I are together since we’re such opposites… made me think about whether or not I could see a future with him. But it was just a freak out lol.
I also have had moments where it seems almost surreal, the idea of me becoming engaged and married to SO and living together with him. But I think it’s just one of those must be too good to be true moments lol.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
At times, yes, but mostly it’s when we talk about having kids and buying a bigger house for a family. Then I get a little nervous. Nothing to do with him though, it’s the responsibility.
Post # 5
For me, I think Fear of unknown is there. I’m not sure if you’d call it doubts though.
Post # 6
I had my first freak out after we went ring shopping. All was fine until we got home that night and I had a chance to think about what was going on and yes, it really was a lot to take in! It was like suddenly all the talking we had done up until that point had gotten real and serious and yes, that scared the crap out of me.
I didn’t doubt that the mister is in fact, the one for me, but that the whole marriage proposition was now an actuality and not just talk. That’s a big deal. But once you get used to the talk and the idea of marriage and the latent effects, you’ll feel better about it.
Post # 7
The whole falling in love, waiting, and the prospect of engagement/marriage is, to me, a bit like riding a roller coaster. . .it’s a bit nerve-racking yet largely exciting. There is definitely a fear of the unknown, but somehow, deep down, there’s something that greatly overpowers that fear.
Post # 8
@tea: EXACTLY. I freaked out for quite some time, because the whole concept became real! But never about him exactly. Although I did find myself getting nitpicky, thinking “Can I really deal with _________ for the rest of my life?!” Well, turns out I can and will. 🙂
Post # 9
I think it’s totally normal to have doubts and fears about stuff like engagements and marriages, those are big life-changing events! In some of the other posts I’ve read on this topic- some bees have pointed out stuff like: the thought of changing your name, your identity as a single person, moving in together, etc etc, as valid reasons for being a little scared! It’s all part of that new phase of your life (which involves leaving some things behind) that is sometimes hard to accept. I’m right there with you, but luckily we’ve found a support system in WB!
Post # 10
totally normal, don’t worry!! freakouts happen, mine came when I sold my first home in order to put the money towards buying a home with Fiance. even though we were already engaged, it was the first tangible, huge financial commitment and i totally freaked out for two days! they will happen, it’s ok. i was really honest with him about my feelings and it was totally fine. 🙂
Post # 11
I had doubts before the proposal because I didnt’ want to be dissapointed if he didn’t propose. Then after waiting for a while, I started to think that we were not meant to be. We had a really rough patch for the few months before he proposed. Since being engaged, we have been pretty happy, and my doubts are gone. In fact, we were talking this past weekend about marriage and how we knew each other was “The One”, and we both came to the conclusion that although we know we are to marry each other and that there is not anyone else out there for us, we have doubts about marriage and if it is possible to stay with one person forever. I think to a point, both the males and females in a relationship always have a little doubt about something. We will probably have a wonderful marriage, but I think entering into engagement and then marriage is a time that doubts come up. Thinking of a lifetime with someone is a little daunting, especially when we celebrated 2.5 years yesterday, HAHA.
Post # 12
I have doubts/freak out whenever I feel like my needs aren’t being met, emotionally or otherwise. Took me almost a year to figure it out. But I noticed if we haven’t seen eachother for a while (we have opposite work schedules) and we haven’t had any “bonding” days in a while I noticed I start to question his every word and action and question whether or not we’re meant to be together. Gets even worse right before my period.
But a wise man once told me never make a big decision while you’re in a bad mood, cause you might regret it once the mood passes. And whenever I feel good, and we’ve had some great one-on-one time I can’t imagine being with anyone else.
But it’s not unusual to be a little freaked out by life changes. It is unusual, however, to be really freaked out.