Post # 1
Some of my married friends joke about getting divorced from each other.
A random sampling:
- "If you make me go that party, I swear I will divorce you!" (said with a big smile on her face)
- "Ugh if you don’t stop chewing with your mouth open, I’m going to have to divorce you."
I know that every couple is different and I in no way am judging my friends… but it’s hard for me to joke about divorce. I’ve done it once or twice, but it usually feels more like a threat than a joke. So I’ve stopped doing it.
That said, I can totally see how a couple could see it as a sign of being so secure in their marriage… that joking about divorce is all in good fun!
Does feeling uncomfortable joking about divorce mean that I’m not secure in my marriage, or that I’m worried about getting divorced? I thought about it and I don’t think that’s it. It just feels weird to me to joke about divorce. I don’t say anything when other people joke about it in front of me though… I just feel weird and stay quiet.
How about you guys: do you ever joke about divorce?
Post # 3
We joke about it… not ALL the time, but it will come up every month or so. But, I never thought of this before, we never actually use the term "divorce" — rather it’s always "My next husband will be a Steelers fan" or "My second wife eat meat".
I think that given our occupations, the divorce rate is far higher than normal and people love to point this out to us (why? like we’re not aware? like they’re saying the expect us to get divorced??), so we’ve just learned to joke about it. My husband always says he’s going to run off with a nurse half my age, and I say I married the first time for love and the next time will be for money.
I guess when people are always bringing up divorce in front of us, it’s easier to laugh and joke about it than get pissed off at our friends/family who constantly throw it in our faces.
Post # 4
I have joked about it a few times, but never meant it or took it as a threat.
For example, I joked about it yesterday when I realized that I would be getting a MUCH smaller tax refund now that we have to file married. Grrrr….
Post # 5
I told him yesterday that I would divorce him if he EVER posted pictures (or even took them), of me right after laboring and giving birth, on the internet. A friend of ours sent out photos of his wife with their newborn and they were very cute but I would die of embarrassment. I am a very private person!
Post # 6
We don’t joke about divorce per se, but whenever he says something like "let’s move to the x town!" (which is in the middle of nowhere) I respond that he can do that with his second wife. It’s just how I was raised, my parents always kidded around like that, and they’ve been happily married for almost 40 years.
Post # 7
My parents are divorced so it is a touchy subject. Neither of us have ever joked about it. Commitment is something that is really important to us. We won’t even do a pre-nup because we think it is saying there is a possibility of divorce.
I think it depends on your situation, I’m not offended when other people joke about it, but it isn’t something we would joke about.
Post # 8
All the time. When we were planning our wedding, we’d say stuff like, "Well for my NEXT wedding, I’m going to…"
And we also use it as a joking threat-as in, "Dear, you do that (ie. tattoo your face, take photos of me without makeup) and it’s an Automatic Divorce."
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception
We joke about it frequently, just like your "sampling". We say it in good fun, and obviously don’t mean anything mean or hasty by it. Sometimes I tell him to "go home", as if he doesn’t really live with me.
Post # 10
We never ever joke about it. My parents used to say horrible, hostile things about getting divorced all the time, and it’s a very touchy subject with me! I made my husband promise not to joke about it.
Post # 11
We’re not even married and we jokingly say stuff. Nothing serious. Actually we say "go home" too MSSUSHI! We do kid around a lot but sometimes I wish we didn’t as often because I don’t want it to weaken our relationship. If that makes any sense.
Post # 12
We have joked once or twice about it in public and regretted it later. Never again. We think people don’t take marriage seriously enough as is, so we don’t want to use divorce as a joke as though to undermine and downplay the seriousness of both marriage and the break up of a marriage.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)
Ya we joke about it – even before we got married. We already know whos getting what… lol
But seriously we joke about it cuz we hope its not going to happen. If we remotely felt like it was a possibility then we wouldnt talk about it.
Post # 14
we never joke about it. FI’s parents are divorced and it really did a number on him. Totally shaped his childhood and who he is. There are pretty much no circumstances in which FI would find divorce a joking matter.
Post # 15
No, we certainly don’t. His parents are divorced. His exes cheated on him. His mother cheated on his father. Divorce, separation, or any other means of our relationship ending is really not a joking matter in our house. I must say, though, even though my parents have been happily married for 32 years, my grandparents for 70, etc., I can’t recall anyone in my own family with a stable, healthy relationship joking about it either.
Post # 16
I make jokes about it – mainly because I am a law student in a community property state. It’s kind of hard to come home from a class where your professor advises you to "keep all cards which go along with gifts" during the marriage and not crack a joke. Only he doesn’t think it’s quite as funny….