Do you ever wish you had a sexual experience with someone else?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
2062 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@AquamarineQueen:  And if you had been with someone else, you would wonder about a 3rd. or 4th or 5th.

No matter how many people you have been with, there is someone out there who could offer you a new experience. That’s all I’m saying.

Post # 4
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

My SO and I have only slept with each other, and we’ve been together for almost 5 and 1/2 years (since I was 15), so I’m about on the same page as you. I don’t really think about this often, but I do wonder how sex would be different with someone else. I mean to say that I enjoy sex with my SO, but how should I know if it’s terrible or great since I don’t have any experience elsewhere!? LOL 

I will say that I am 100% happy that we’ve only had sex with each other. No comparisons, and I am so comfortable with him, and he is with me as well. There’s also something very special about being able to say that he’s your one and only, and I think we have a special connection because of it.

Post # 5
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’ve been with 2 people, FI and an ex. If anything, I’d take the ex back rather than adding someone new. At least I know FI is good though 🙂

Post # 6
2878 posts
Sugar bee

Well, I’m biased because I do have an incredible chemistry with my FI that I didn’t have with my ex. Contrary to you (since you’re not dissatisfied), I was. I had never had an orgasm with my ex and I felt so embarrassed about it that I quickly lost focus over sex and it became a task that I never succeeded doing, instead of something fun. 

Thankfully, this has changed the second I met my fiancé. He was very patient with me and I guess it allowed me to let myself go. I wouldn’t go back. It’s not that my ex was bad or anything, but I think we were young and unexperienced and it showed ; in our case, the sexual chemistry just wasn’t as strong. I was attracted to him of course, but I didn’t think sex was satisfying so I tried to avoid it most of the times. I never thought about this while I was with my ex, but when I became single it was a concern. I didn’t know if I would like it with someone else. 

And now, I do, and I’m absolutely not curious to see with any other partner, because I doubt it could get better than that.

Post # 8
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

@AquamarineQueen:  I have a friend who has had probably close to ten sexual partners (we are 21), and she is always talking about her experiences. On the one hand I’m like, “wow, I have no experience.” On the other hand I know that she feels pretty crappy that she has given a piece of herself to someone who didn’t stick around. I’d be sad if something happened to my SO and I’s relationship where I would be left to find someone else in the future. It would feel like he always had a piece of me. I do agree, though, that I would feel strange being the only one in a relationship who has only had one partner. I’d feel like my SO was comparing me to the other person if he had slept with someone else (especially during a break).

Post # 9
37 posts

@AquamarineQueen:  I think that girls, like guys, tend to talk up their experiences. So take those with a grain of salt

Post # 10
109 posts
Blushing bee


I think it’s very normal to wonder.  I’ve been with other men but never a woman and I always wonder what that would’ve been like.  I’m the only woman my FI has been with so there’s a standing (joking) agreement that he can have an experience with another girl if I can too :p  In all seriousness, like you I would never act on it.  Having thoughts is ok as long as they’re kept in check and not indulged in.

Post # 13
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Christmas Tree Farm

Do you think maybe part of the reason you think about it so much is that he has been with someone else and you haven’t, so you feel like he’s experienced something you didn’t get to?

Post # 15
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve been with my FI for over 5 years. He was the only man I’ve ever slept with. He had slept with three other girls before me. Sometimes I do wonder if I’m good enough because I didn’t have other experiences. I guess I think sometimes along the lines of what AccioShoes was saying. 



Post # 16
502 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s normal to wonder. But you were lucky and the first person you slept with happens to be a great life partner. Yayy!

I’ve slept with 7 guys, including current SO. To me that’s a really good number. It made me stop focusing on sex so much, if that makes sense — sex to me is now such a normal part of relationships that the allure of it somewhere else no longer exists. It’s not going to be magical elsewhere…no matter who it’s with, it’s still sex. And I would take a healthy, happy relationship over more exhilerating sex any day of the week. 

What you feel you’re missing is nothing compared to what you already have! Each person does their own thing and there’s nothing better or worse about doing it a certain way, whether you’ve slept with 1 or 100 guys.

I don’t know if this is for you, but my friend and her SO have been together for 9 years. About 4 years in, they agreed to an open relationship and now they’ve each had other partners as well. Just an idea!

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