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Funny, I do wish this sometimes as well.
My FI is Christian. His family is too (even more than he is. They use words like god bless, facebook statusses etc.) but I am just not. Sometimes, FI tells me he fears that I will go to hell and that he is sad and worried about me because of this;)
A few years ago, I really tried to believe. Read the bible, did some self searching etc. but I just.. do not. I cannot. I still don't believe any of it.
I do know how it feels to almost wish I wasn't an athiest, trying to exist while in a community where everything was about God, but really.... trying to believe something I really really didn't just hurt me.
I sometimes wish I was, not to "fit in" per se, but because I miss going to church on Sundays! I was raised Catholic and every Sunday my grandma and I would go to church, and as much as I found it boring as a little girl, my whole week felt "off" if I didn't go. I miss having that safe, familiar place and having a "church family", if that makes sense. It's been something that's been missing in my life since my grandma moved to another state and I stopped going to church. Even though I haven't believed in a higher power since I was probably 12 years old and spent many years as an atheist going to church with her every Sunday, I still miss it. And I force FI (also an atheist) to go to church with me on Christmas every year because THAT is one mass I refuse to miss, even though I don't believe in a word of it haha. Call me crazy.
No I don't, but I can definitely see how being one would make things easier. I also feel like people just assume that other people are christian. And I feel like when people find out, they want an explanation. And then I feel like they look down on me and it's kind of hurtful.
I do, because I have an intense fear of death. Obviously no one wants to die, but if I think about death - really think about it, and what that would mean, and how I would just fade to nothingness, and how no one can avoid it (sorry to get so depressing) - I start to have a panic attack.
I'm agnostic, not athiest, but I really struggle with the idea that there is something after this life. I would like there to be something else, but it doesn't really make any sense.
So if I were a Christian, I wouldn't have to fear death like I do because I would feel confident in an afterlife. I envy them for being able to believe in an afterlife with 100% certainty.
I do sometimes but not to fit in. I just think it would be nice to believe in heaven or that I'd see my deceased relatives again.
I don't want to be Christian, but I do wish there was a community of morally motivated people who were warm and charitable that I could be a part of without the focus being on any kind of deity. I love doing volunteer work but there have been so many times I've joined different groups where everything becomes about being Christian servants and as much as I fake it for the sake of the project, I always ended up quitting because it's too much for me. (on a side note, I ironically love Christian music) but I definitely don't want my life to be lead by a sexist, antiquated book that has been taken out of context and too literally for thousands of years... No thanks!
Fembride: Have you checked out Universalist Unitarian? It's pretty much what you just described.
Kinda like the question do you want the blue pill or red pill?
Of course some part of me wants the blue, afterlife and all, but in the end it's going to be red, for me.
I grew up saying grace, praying every night, I went to a Christian school and went to church... Not once did I ever believe. I wanted to so badly, I tried, I really did, but my brain just won't accept it! The more I read the bible the less I believed (have you read that thing from cover to cover? It's insane! Seriously). Nothing pushed me away from Christianity, I just never was a Christian.
I want to believe for the more 'romantic' reasons. Its easy to gain comfort from the belief that you will 'go to a better place' and that you will see everyone you love after you die. Its comforting to believe that you can pray away your sins and that there is a god who takes a particular interest in your life and helps you through tough times... But I just can't bring myself to believe it!
Now I just accept when I die I will be dead. I accept that my life is my own to live with no outside control to rescue me when things are bad. I rely on my own intelligence and tenacity to live my life. The only person who can give me the life I deserve is myself. And I gain a huge amount of comfort from that. Love is the only force governing my life. As long as I love and am loved, life will be sweet.
Yeah it goes both ways. I can remember times like when I was 12-13-ish I was with my youth group in a public park, where we were quietly minding our own business doing a small bible study. These 18-20 year old guys came and started harassing us so much that we had to leave. This kind of thing has happened more than once.
Also at the high school I went to, anyone who was openly religious was mocked continuously.
Most of the people I work with and a lot of my friends are atheist/agnostic, so I do not often talk openly about my beliefs.
Also, my entire family is very, very atheist and often bashes christianity right infront of me lol. I just avoid talking to them about it, I don't want to fight with my own family.
I don't wish I was atheist though lol, but I do occasionally wish I fit in better. Life would be easier if I was atheist for sure.
I think which is more prominent depends a lot on where you live.
Also, I do find that online, at least in the areas of the internet I hang around in lol, people generally are more likely to be atheist.
Not at all. There are times that I do feel awkward, like you say. Doing pre-marital counseling with the pastor has been one of the most uncomfortable experiences because I am LYING about my beliefs (which I never do). My fiance is Christian.
But I am living my life with the ultimate freedom. I am my own judge.
But to clarify my first post, I don't wish I were Christian, per se. I am perfectly happy being atheist, I would never want a religion. I guess I just meant that I wish I still had that familiar, safe place to go on a weekly basis, to see all the same people, sing all the same songs, and so on. There's something about that that I miss. Just not the religion part of it, lol.
I miss the tight knit Catholic community I had when I was growing up... but aside from that, no. :\
@atalante: Haha okay, that's a more concise way of saying what I was trying to say! Clearly I am not doing well with words today :P
I'm a bad/lapsed Catholic and I'm not sure what I believe. Every now and then, I get the urge to become Mormon and I have no idea why lol.
i went through a period shortly after DH1 passed where i desperately wished i had some kind of belief so that i could KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that he still IS, somewhere. but, like most of you have realized, you can want it and wish for it till the cows come home, but if you don't have it, you just don't have it. i've kind of made peace with it. i think a part of me does believe there's something after this life and he's found it, even if he's no longer cohesively HIM. i suppose, if nothing else, i've learned not to fear death any more.
i never wished for it to fit in though. that was never an issue...as a kid, the area i grew up in was a fair mix of christian and agnostic (unfortunately there wasn't really any diversity beyond that). later i lived in a predominantly apostolic lutheran area and NO WAY am i down for that. no offense to anyone of that faith, but it's definitely not for me, to fit in or otherwise.
actually, i should say that the agnostics in the area i grew up in were more "christian-lite" or "religious agnostic"...like i'm sure if they stopped and looked at it critically, they'd know they didn't really believe the stuff, but they went through the motions anyway and generally didn't judge those who didn't.
Nope, never. I don’t believe in god, nor do I want to because I do not believe that he/she/it exists in any way, shape or form. I guess I’m lucky in that I’ve never really been made to feel like an outcast because of my beliefs, atleast by those who matter anyway. Thankfully both of our families are not religious in the slightest (well, except for our grandmothers who we see every few years) and while some of our friends are, they respect our (lack of) beliefs as long as we respect theirs.
ETA: By "we" I mean DH and I since we're both non-believers.
I'm not ashamed that I'm an atheist but it does make me different and it's hard to know what to say when colleagues email me and say things like "I know I can make it in the industry because God has sent me so many weddings this year, God is SO good". Like I don't even know how to react to that other than to ignore it. I guess I just think life might be simpler if I was a Christian too.
No, not to fit in anyway. I have always admired people's (not just Christians) religious certainty, how they don't doubt it. I'm agnostic and though I've researched a lot about many different religions, I wouldn't ever be able to accept one set of beliefs outright. A bit jealous of people that are sure of what they believe, I guess. Even out and out athiests. They have that certainty that I lack.
Things would be easier, esp. with FI's family, but I guess I've never wished I was a Christian. I really enjoyed the youth group I participated in and I appreciate that the religion I grew up in (UCC) was very open to personal interpretation of the Bible, but I really value the path that led me to believing/not believing what I do now.
While it can be awkward when people find out I'm an atheist (I don't hide it, but I also don't broadcast it) I think it is important because it helps people become more accepting of things different than themselves.
@kate169: I can't imagine working in your environment. It would bother me and I think I would have the same feelings as you.
I also agree that life might be simpler as a Christian.
Sure... but I'd also love to ride a unicorn to my job making pixie dust in a marshmallow cloud castle... but that ain't gonna happen.
I'm seconding @missrobots plug for the Unitarian Universalist Church. I don't go on a regular basis, but if you want a non-judgemental community of people who are more bound by their commitment to do good in this world than by doctrinal points of the world after this one...you want the UUs. Totes OK to be agnostic or atheist there.
@Crabbabs: It's not really at my full time job thank god...that is bad enough on its own. I am a part time wedding photographer right now too and I hear the god thing a lot from fellow wedding photographers. Like one emailed me today and was like "god has been so good providing me clients" blah blah.
I am sorry so many of you express the loss of "community" that going to a church can provide. However, I do believe that if you look around that you can find that "community" feeling it just may take some time.
I know some people would consider the Secular Humanism or Utilitarianism beliefs to be acceptable. I personally think that it is not religion that is important, but respect for people that is important.
I would strongly suggest that anyone that feels they are harassed by the "Christian" concepts. To tell the people that are trying to force it on you that you are fine without their religion and that it is inappropriate at the work place to be discussing or send "GODLY" comments to others. You want to respect them but it is hard when they do not respect your rights to a nonreligious work place.
I've thought about it once or twice, hell when I was younger I even TRIED to believe, but couldn't. It's not who I am, and I'd rather be true to myself than fit in :)
Like deathbydesign said, I think it really depends on where you live and can go both ways. In the NW where I live, I think it's more accepted to be a non-believer, so it's harder sometimes to speak up and say that I am a Christian. When I do, I often get judged and have even been mocked, or treated like I'm an idiot. It's interesting for me to read a lot of these perspectives and how many of you tried to believe and couldn't. For me, it's the opposite--even though in my life I have questioned a lot when it comes to religion, I've never been able to believe that there isn't a God.
No, although I do sometimes find it awkward when people talk to me about god. Inevitably if I can't ditch the conversation it comes around to "I'm an atheist" and then I feel like I'm just basically saying "I think you're stupid."
I'm generally just super uncomfortable around mentions of god/god paraphenalia. Like my bosses' office is just covered in crosses and poems about Jesus and I hate being in there. I don't know why that is - maybe I'm subconsciously afraid to have The Atheist Conversation with people and when I know someone is "churchy" I'm nervous they'll bring that up.
I sometimes think it would be easier to "cope" with things if I were Christian. It ocassionally makes me wish I could believe it.
uhhh, no! Hell to the No actually.
I am proud of who I am. And I have morals, ethics, I volunteer and give a lot to my community. I do not do that for some idol. I do it for me, and for those around me in my community.
I am not christian. But I am deeply spiritual. Spirituality does not rely on an idol.
I am comfortable with my beliefs, I know I am a good person, I know I teach my kids manners and ethics. I do not need a god to teach those lessons for me.
Oh gosh no! I chose to leave the church when I was a teenager. My mother was so disappointed in me and tried all sorts of ways to bring me back (ie guilt trips, threats, bribery, attempts at humiliating me, you name it, she tried it). I will admit she did it out of supposedly "good" intentions (doesn't want me going to hell).
I made that decision because I simply could not stand the hypocrisy and the conservative views of most Christians.
On a side note concerning this "hell" my mother believes in, if it is real, it sounds like it's where all the fun people go, so I'm not so worried about it.
I second the people on here (such as deathbydesign) who say that it works both ways. Whenever I say I'm a Christian, I get loads of stick for it. Here are some of the comments I've had:
"But... you're intelligent"
"Really? An educated girl like you? How can you betray your education like that?"
"How ridiculous. How can anyone believe in a God because [insert reason here]!"
I also remember my cousin saying that most of his friends were married. I said that this was unusual surely, as he was younger than me (in his early 20s at the time). No, he said. They're mostly Christians. But so am I, I said. He replied "yeah, but you're not a real Christian, are you?", presumably meaning non-dogmatic, non-creationist, non-preachy. I gave him a wry smile and tried not to be hurt by this.
I think I should also say to the people here who are afraid of death that people who follow Christianity for the religious brownie points (cushy spot in heaven after death etc) are doing it entirely for the wrong reasons. I don't know what will happen after I die, and quite frankly I don't care. I have faith for two reasons. Firstly, because I believe in my heart that there is a God. You either believe this or you don't, and nobody can teach you to believe or disbelieve. It's just something you have/ someone you are. You shouldn't be ashamed of that.
Secondly, I am religious because I feel that there was a guy long ago who went around basically preaching a message of social justice, being a great example to everyone, and fighting for the rights of the dispossessed. He was a nice guy, and a smart guy, and despite the fact he was killed horribly for basically protesting the status quo, I think he's a great example to follow. I never think about the afterlife... Jesus was all about this life. If you concentrate your energies on living well, the rest will take care of itself.
So: don't be afraid of death! No matter what you believe, the key is to focus on living! I also think you shouldn't be afraid to follow your personal convictions, whatever they are (religious or non-religious).
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Lately I have been wishing I wasn't an Atheist just so i could fit in better! It seems like everyone around me is a super Christian and I not only am not a Christian, but I don't believe in God at all. And it's not for a lack of trying either. I wish I could believe, I just don't.
Anyway, it seems like most of the people in my field are not just Christians, but Super Christians. Like they praise god a lot on their blogs and to each other and all. I just feel like I'm out of place. And its awkward because I think people just assume other people are Christians too. Like one of these cohorts was like "You don't know this song??" when we a Christian rock song came on.
So...anyone else ever wished they were so they could fit in? (I am well aware this post sounds ridiculous and shallow, but I struggle to fit in as it is, so this has been weighing on my mind).