Post # 1
A thread on the waiting board brought this to mind. If your SO’s/FI’s brother is already married, would you expect your FSIL to be one of your bridesmaids?
I’ve never thought about this before. My SO has a married brother, whose wife I don’t especially like or talk to much, although she is often around (they live separately during the week, but I see her on weekends often). I don’t think I would really want her in my bridal party. . . there is no particular ill-will, she’s just a lot older than me and culturally very, very different, so we have next to nothing in common.
What would or did you do about this one? 🙂
Post # 3
My FI has two brothers who are both married. I love both of their wives, but neither of them are in my wedding. of course, I’m having a very small wedding, only my SIL (my brothers wife) and FI’s daughter are in the wedding. I’m having the two wives read…honestly I don’t think they care that they aren’t in the wedding, they are both older and I think they are beyond the whole wedding thing. They are probably glad they aren’t bridesmaids, honestly!
Post # 4
I am very close to one of his sisters and I get along with his other sister. Both will be BMs. I’m not sure what we would have done if we weren’t close.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Traditional Chinese culture would not allow me to have matrons/married women in my bridal party. My mom would be mad at me. So, in that regard, no. I have a cultural reason not to.
Post # 6
Yes, if and only if our relationship was already close. I’m in the situation now, where my FH twin brother’s wife may believe she may be in our wedding. I currently already have 3 MOH AND 8 BM, we don’t talk much anymore, more a a hi and bye basis so there’s no need to be fake with her, she’ll know where she stands!
Post # 7
@Creiddylad: I wouldn’t expect a sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid; however, I would expect his sister to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 8
I would expect that if my partner wanted his relatives to be included in the wedding party then he would have them on his side and vice versa.
The only exception would be if the sister and I had a relationship outside of being SIL’s.
Post # 9
No, I’m not having FI’s sister or his SIL in my bridal party. We are only having a maid of honor and a best man (our best friends) because we just want to keep things small and drama free. His family also lives 9 hours away from us, if they lived closer I think I would consider having his sister, but I still don’t think I’d consider his SIL.
Post # 10
I didn’t have my SIL in my wedding. A couple of people told me I should beacause my sisters where my bridesmaids and it also would have evened out the wedding party. But I had only met her once before she lives in another state. Also DH didnt want her haveing to do anything with the wedding.
Post # 11
I am not having FI’s sister in my BP and he isn’t having her on his side either. She actually greeted the news of our engagement with disgust because she wanted FI to marry someone she could be BFFs with despite the fact that FI hates all of her friends and she lives 1,000 miles away. I think it’s waaaay more important that FI and I are BFFs than FSIL and I. We’re cordial and I think that’s as good as it’s going to get.
Post # 12
I gave in to having my FSIL as a bridemaid because of family pressures. I really wish I had stuck up for myself, we don’t get along.
Post # 13
I will be asking FIs sister to be a bridesmaid and he will be asking my brother.
I’ve only met his sister once .. I hope it will be a chance to get to know each other better.
Post # 14
I didn’t have DH’s only sister in my wedding party – and it was DH’s choice! He absolutely did not want her there, which was fine with me because I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of her being there either (we’re not close at all, I would have only chosen her if it was important to DH). It did end up causing an insane amount of drama though, to the point we no longer speak to his family.
Post # 15
I will ask my brother’s girlfriend, because I love her and she is such a sweet girl and we get on really well.
On the other hand, my relationship with SO’s brother’s future wife is not that close, she is MUCH older than me and we only have a cordial relationship, but I don’t consider her a friend and thus I won’t ask her.
Post # 16
@Creiddylad: Yes for two of them and no for the last one because she is a right cunt. I don’t care if we are family – if I don’t like you then I am not having you in my wedding!