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DH is Ethiopian and I am American. I was talking to my mom recently about how beautiful my children will probably be. She made a comment that although my children may be beautiful, society will not accept them because they are mixed and many people will treat them badly or differently. I thought that in today's world, mixed children are much more common. So ladies, do you believe mixed children are treated differently in society?
@Tswife4ever: No, I don't think they are treated differently. People ask me where I am from often. Hmmm, I am a native of TN and people ask me that in TN! I would not worry about it, they will blend fine in society. Or maybe they will stand out, thats a blessing too.
Wow - that seems sooooo old school - but I guess it's also regional.
Where I live (Los Angeles) it's rare that someone isn't mixed.
Most everyone I know has mixed kids! (White mixed with something else).
I think mixed kids are BEAUTIFUL! If anything, they'll be treated different because they are HOT! ;)
My daughter's biological father is Ethiopian! (I must say she is gorgeous haha)
My husband is white (European) and I am brown (Hispanic).
I have never received any negativity from anyone. Honestly, if I ever do... so help me god.... that person will regret ever having met me haha.
I get more positivity then anything to be honest.
Oh wow, please don't let this upset you! Unless you live in a time warp, I would not fret about this - the world has changed since your mom was young and mixed race is not even unsual anymore. Look in any kindergarten classroom and you will find kids of all backgrounds, and lots of kids with mixed backgrounds! Yes, they might encounter some jerks who will make comments, but ALL people encounter jerks who make comments about SOMETHING. Having a mixed background always made me feel special and I love being part of multiple cultures at once. Your kids will be beautiful, happy, and proud of both of their heritage!
Look at our current president. :) Nope, I'm not worried at all. We live in a somewhat diverse area (mostly Caucasian, but about 25-30% are Black, Hispanic, Asian and Indian) and we will be sure to raise them with other children of other races, especially Indian. (My DH is Indian, I am White) I'm not worried about it.
I think your kids will have an advantadge- with two loving, caring and gorgeous parents.
Maybe in some more "backwards" places, but honestly I live in a very multicultural place and I don't notice anything! I will technically have mixed children too :) I always thougth it was cool when kids in my grade were from different places and races so to speak. I was jealous!
Mixed children are beautiful and as long as they have 2 loving parents there is nothing to worry about! They will have the best of both worlds.
I doubt it, honestly, there is such a huge population of "mixed" people anymore, at least around me, and it is just growing that soon it will be odd to not be the mixed ones!
@Soladylike: Not sure what European American is but I am white-American.
@oracle: I am from LA too and see mixed children everywhere which I was I didn't understand where she was coming from.
There are so many mixed race people these days that no one bats an eyelid.
The funny thing though is that Obama is half black and hald white and yet people always call him a black man. So I guess that means he is not accepted by the white community??
all children are beautiful and children being mixed doesnt make their chances of being beautiful any higher than any whole race child. i have mixed family members young and old, and they dont speak of any discrimination or feeling disconnected from either side.
However i do know an AA/White friend who feels as though she fit in more in society than she do with her White side of her own family
well in slavery days, no matter what you were, if there was a drop of african ancestry, then you were black. no if, and, or buts about it. that way of thinking still exists.
i notice that a lot of AA/White usually mate with the AA side. dont know why
@bells: I've never understood that either. Our future children would be half-Indian, half-Caucasian and that is what we will refer to them as, not Indian. I don't get the half black/half white = black. He's just as much white as he is black.
@mrsberry2011: Well, that makes sense (slavery days). But why now? Why is Obama called Black? Is it easier for somebody who is biracial to just pick one race to call themselves?
Can anybody here who is biracial explain how you describe yourself? I'm curious for when we have children one day.
I'd say over half of the kids my daughter goes to school with are mixed race, and I actually never even thought about that fact until I read this thread! Definitely not an issue, it's more common nowadays than ever before. Older people tend to think it's more of an issue because that was how they grew up, but thankfully out society has evolved a lot since then.
@KatyElle: Wow! Over half! Do you live in a city? I agree, it is mostly a generational thing.
Only if they try to break into the industry I am working in... in the area we are currently. I know they would be treated differenly if I sent them to school where we live now.
Thankfully we are planning on moving to a bigger city in the same state anyway, hopefully by the time we have kids they will be able to grow up in an area that is not 99% white. I want them to love who they are and what makes them that way, I certainly spent way too much of my growing up years upset because my body and looks were different from all the kids I went to school with.
@Tswife4ever: Times are changing! at least i like to think so - our parents generation is so ass backwards its not even funny! haha God forbid anything happen to them but im really curious to see the changes with our generation and our childrens generation.
@mrsberry2011: I understand where you're coming from lol. I am hispanic and dated only hispanics till I met FH. Not on purpose, it just happened that way haha.
how I ended up with a red-haired, blue-eyed guy I'll never know!
The island I grew up in was mostly white, and we had a few mixed kids in my grade that assimilated right in. I can think of 3 that I spent a lot of time with (in advanced classes, we all had the same people in every class) and I can't remember anyone batting an eye. And this was in the South, so that's heartening. My best friend in HS was half black and half white, so she had gorgeous tan skin all year round and while she'd sometimes make jokes about herself being an "oreo" (black outside, white inside), I don't recall anyone else teasing or not accepting her. It was a non-issue.
I did find that most of my mixed race friends identified with the more "ethnic" (maybe that's the right word? hope so) side - like if they were white/black, they typically identified more with being black, although it seemed to be based a lot on their appearance as well (those who appeared black identified more with those who looked like them, etc).
I personally think all kids, including mixed race kids, are beautiful and would be surprised if they were widely unaccepted. If the backwards small-town South can do it, anyone can, right ;)?
My fiance is 1/2 black and 1/2 British. He grew up around his all white British family. I think it makes him more unique. He has received his share of looks when he was younger, but not so much anymore. Fast forward to his 2 beautiful boys 1/2 black and 1/4 British and 1/4 German. NO looks at all, unless they are saying how adorably handsome they are. I feel boring being "just black" around them. 
@Jenn23: Yup! Her "school" experience isn't 100% typical because she is in a special education program in Boston with supplemented therapy programs, it's very diverse.
@Jenn23: I am biracial (technically): I'm black/japanese. I say technically because I am only 1/4 japanese and the rest is black (with a drop of native american) and I "look" black - granted I have light skin and almond shaped eyes - so that's what I most identify with.
Honestly, I call myself a black woman. Unfortunately, it's been my experience that people will assume your ethnicity based on your skin tone. Obama "looks" black, so that's what people see him as. I don't want to imply that this is the norm, just my experience.
@Tswife4ever: that's bull. there are SOO many people who are mixed biracial, multiracial etc. i don't think that will have any bearing on how they will be treated. JMO.
I think I'm more saddened by the thought of having to PREPARE my kids with how to handle the way they will be judged by others than the fear of being accepted.
I'm more concerned about wanting my kids to love themselves, their mix and their background than wanting them to "fit in".
It's 2012.... is this really an issue anymore? In my area, it's not (I live in Ontario, Canada) Many of my friends are bi-racial and their kids will be as well.
My SO is Eritrean (black) and I'm Canadian-German (white), I can't wait to have mixed babies :)
Not only is it excepted, but becoming a norm. When my children are older, it will be a non-issue. Almost my entire group of friends is in a bi-racial relationship, as well as aquaintances, work colleages etc.
@Future_Ms.Bostonceltics: I'm also in Ontario, and I teach in our schools... you maybe surprised still at the amount of racism still around. It's unconscious, unintentional and subliminal... but it is still all around unfortunately.
We would all love for this not to be in an issue anymore, but even in a city as multicultural as Toronto, it is still everywhere.
There is still racism in the world no doubt about that, but I agree wtih Future_Mr.Bostonceltics. It is so hard to find anyone these days that isn't a mutt of some type. My father is a very very pale norwegian, and my mother is a rather dark hispanic, Im a mix and have never heard anything too negitive about it. My sister who is also a mix like me, married a man from Barbados (black) and has the most beautiful children in the world! They are all in school now in the midwest (the most vanilla region in the country I believe) they have plenty of friends and haven't had a problem with being a mix. I wouldn't worry about it. It isn't like we live in a vanilla country anymore, we are all a little bit of everything.
When I was in highschool, and before I met Mr. Hedgie, I was DETERMINED I was going to marry a black man because I wanted beautiful mixed babies. Instead I married my handsom white man. And Oh Lord is he white. lol. I do fear they will pick up on all his uber nerdy and geeky qualities to the extreme and become one of those kids who live in my basement and only come out at night because the light burns their insanely nerdy, socially inept skin... sad but true. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't mean to be a downer but biracial children may be treated differently. I have a few biracial friends and while they are happy, well adjusted adults we have often spoke about the identity issues that they dealt with while growing up. The reality is that every region is different, and every individual's experience is different. Even within the same family, siblings have different experiences related to their racial and cultural identities. I don't think you should worry about it but be prepared for the questions from the children. Also, you may experience more strange looks than they may experience if they look very different than you do. if you love your children and raised them in a loving home, their is no amount of ignorance that will damage them permanently.
I dont think our children will be treated differently in the states. If anything, I think they will probably be treated a little better. But in Korea (where FI is from), I'm concerned that people might look at them differently. Korea is very homogenous. Anyways, I hope thats not the case as I want them to be able to spend lots of time in Korea with their í• ë¨¸ë‹ˆ - halmeoni (grandmother).
I think it mainly depends on what city or town you live in. In NYC, where I live, there are many biracial children. No one treats them differently. Being biracial is seen as a norm here.
I never really thought about that part. But since you bring it up, no, I'm not worried that they will have any disadvantages due to being mixed.
I'm sorry, but I think some of the problem lies with people still calling mixed-race individuals "mutts," or other derogatory terms as such. I know that it may not be intentional, because it's just thrown out as a term, but we are not dogs.
I'm black and the boy is white. I'm not at all worried about them being mixed. Racism is soooo not an issue where we live. The boy said he would nickname them the Oreos *eyeroll*. It just won't matter.
Anyone who says it will not be an issue is lying to the OP and to themselves. That's like saying your kid won't ever have it rough in school because they are overweight. I've got news for you: social prejudice STILL EXISTS and is VERY PREVALENT IN SCHOOLS. Regardless of the emphasis that school staff put on acceptance of diversity the fact remains that these behaviors are learned AT HOME and people STILL believe in INEQUALITY.
Yes, they will have challenges, but so does everyone else. It might be the "mixed race" child or the "fat" child or the "four eyes" child or the "metal mouth" child but kids STILL DO IT.
It is a totally normal fear that all parents have. No parent wants their child to go through life automatically having a purported disadvantage against them. What you should be concerned with is what your children are learning from YOU at home. You should also teach your children that the only things that they will ever be able to control are within their own skin and while they cannot control what other people say and do, they CAN be the BETTER person and control how they react.
Being pregnant is still the best part of being a parent. As soon as that baby comes out of the womb, you can't always protect them anymore. That's just a reality that everyone has to face.
Well I definitely had many issues growing up biracial. From questions if I wish I were white, to full out racial slurs being yelled at me in the hallways of my highschool. I know where I grew up, it wasn't widely accepted. However, I now have a son, who of course is bi racial, or triracial, or quadracial, haha. And I don't really have that fear for him. I think if my mother would have left me in one school or even just two and allowed me to transition into the schools and integrate properly instead of moving every single year, I would have had a much easier time. And I for sure will be having stability for my son once he reaches school age.
Also, call me an optimist but I think my sons generation will be more accepting than mine was.
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