- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
It comes and goes for me, but I think it's just me. KWIM? I truly believe that he thinks I'm sexy still, but I am harder on myself lately then I need to be. So, even if he was done on his knees begging and telling me I was hot everyday, I would still feel ugly sometimes.
Sorry you're feeling that way, btw. It stinks when you know you shouldn't be, but you can't help it! :)
I'm recently married but my husband still tells me when I'm cute/pretty/sexy. In fact, I think it's moreso than before the wedding. It definitely gives me a boost in my day! I'm sorry it's not the same for you. :(
ive been married almost a month and the joke from other wives in the office is "i can let myself go now as ive got the ring"
when we first got together i found contentment had me putting loads of pounds on so im determined not to let marriage do that to me (hence why we both have personal trainers)
lack of attention from FI (now hubby) is a bit of an issue with me at times (usually depending on my moods). hes use to me being very independant and not a girly girl so when i whine "i want you to pay attention to me and make me feel special" he usually steps up because ive specifically told him exactly what i need from him. poor man, he def is not a mind reader so needs to be told how im feeling to respond
Oh I tell Mr.Flamingo. "You never say Im pretty, sexy or beautiful" and his response is "well of course you are, I married you didn't I?"
I need more than that... am I being too girly girl?
I totally get what you mean. I get the "I love you's" and all that but the "you look beautiful" tends to come less often. It probably doesn't help that we see each other less because pretty much every waking moment he has that he's not at work he is working on our new house. 
I think this happens all the time in relationships, sometimes even before marriage. Guys feel like they don't have to "work" for you anymore. This may sound old fashioned, but I really make an effort to look nice for him. It makes me feel good, too. I try to ask him to do the same, which works sometimes. Honestly, I'd say something to him. Men cannot read minds so he probably doesn't even realize you feel this way. We all know that communication is key in relationships, so a good talk (and maybe a good cry) might help.
Things haven't changed much for us, but we lived together before we were married. He's always been the "hands on" type, if you know what I mean, so while he doesn't say things to compliment how I look anymore, I know he's still attracted to me. Funny story though, that kind of relates. Mr. Joe leaves for work before before I have to get up so I'm usually half asleep when he kisses me good bye in the morning. One morning we did the usual routine, and as he was about to walk out of the bedroom, I noticed his clothes didn't match AT ALL. So, I told him and he kind of thought it over for a second and said "well, I'm married so I don't have to match anymore" and he walked out the door and didn't change lol silly man. I do still try to look nice when we go out together and stuff, and I'm hoping to try to start exercising a little so I don't get chubby (I was a bit skinnier when he first met me) so that I will hopefully stay attractive! (I definitely worry about it!)
heheheheh - btw, i went thru one of these moods on friday night when i got home from work, told him flat out you dont make me feel special and then all weekend he was over attentive to me... to the point that i was so over it come sunday. poor guy, cant win
Ya, I get all dolled up for him. but nothing seems to catch his attention anymore.
geez... do I need to walk around the house NAKED???
ya... well, to be honest. Ive tried and no reaction.
I seriously feel hes the woman in the relationship...lol
Mr. Quiche tells me all the time - & I think Mr. F should be doing the same for you! & if that means walking around naked to get his attention & make your point, then by all means - strip down!! heehee 
Wow, maybe he is...I'm JOKING! Really, though, it's interesting because it seems like we hardly ever hear about guys who don't want to have sex.
My fiance has one line he always says, "You are so incredibly sexy." Which is nice. But tonight I said, "Say something new!" I feel like it has just become his canned answer. He can never win. :)
Miss Flamingo, we were just talking in pre-martial counseling about how it's ok to have needs (I have a tendancy to feel guilty about need anything!) It's totally legit to sit him down and say, "Listen, this is important to me and it's going to hurt our relationship eventually!" Hopefully that will get his attention (men can be a little....thick sometimes ;)) Sorry you're having a tough time :(
Ya... well, I jumped on him tonight and forced him... LOL
I think he got the point.
But I know he works alot and is extremely tired.
I have the opposite issue - he tells me all the time that he thinks I'm hot. But, if he thinks I'm hot in my pajamas with my glasses on and hair crazy, and then tells me when I'm all dressed up to go out, it loses its affect to me. It sucks for him, because he means it both times but sometimes I feel like saying "yea, right!"
I think it's all self esteem issues morphed into different ways. Mr. Flamingo is right in a way, maybe it would help if you told him "I know you think I'm beautiful, I just need you to say it more" would help? Just spell it out for him really clearly.
@ES123- DIITO! lol.
@Flamingo- My DH said before we were marrried that the only requirment for after we were married that i was naked at all times. . .LOL. . . . and he still brings that up
@SaraBMarried... haha, at least he told you.
I tell Mr.Flamingo all the time, that he doesnt make me feel beautiful...
but then I feel like such a girly girl. Maybe its just hormonal... geez
It's ok, women need to hear that they're beautiful! Men just think we "KNOW" it so they stop telling us.
ES123-I'm with ya! I'm hot when i'm in no makeup and PJ's, but I "look nice" when i'm all dolled up. Hm. Not sure how that works.
That being said, I have to remind myself to compliment my SO more often...gotta keep the shoe on the other foot!
I absolutely understand where you are coming from... my husband always used to comment when I looked nice, would ask if I was wearing something new, etc. Now, if he does mention that I look nice, it's an automatic response without him even looking up (as in, I could be wearing a potato sack and he wouldn't notice), I'll get 5" cut off my hair and he won't say a thing (whereas before he'd notice if I just got a trim), etc. And now that we live in different states and don't see each other much, I'd think he'd make MORE of an effort when we are together... but no dice.
Flamingo, I know exactly how you feel. I am having the exact same problems with my husband. He NEVER comments on my appearance anymore. I have to ask him "how do I look?" And he'll give me a brief glance and say "good". That does not do it for me. It has made me feel insecure about my appearance. I know I gained some weight after the wedding, and recently I've been able to work all of it off - and even get down below my wedding weight. So I should be feeling good about myself, but the fact that he still never says anything about how I look makes me feel worse. It feels like he doesn't see me.
I've tried talking to him about it but he says he doesn't get it, that I should know that he thinks I'm attractive and he doesn't see a point in telling me over and over. I've tried explaining that I know my appearance changes and I want to know that he still finds me attractive. Honestly we've had multiple fights about it. He travels for work so I don't see him a lot of the week anyway - would it kill him to say hi honey you look so nice when he finally gets back? But he doesn't, and I've become overly aware of it now, to the point that when another day goes by without anything I can't help but notice.
I make an effort to look nice and he doesn't notice.. I've also done the naked thing a bit - if that doesn't get a positive reaction, I don't know what will. :( I feel like I'm not exciting to him anymore, and it makes me sad. I hate fighting about it - I absolutely can't stand to feel like I have to beg him to say nice things. Having to resort to asking him for compliments makes me feel really needy and insecure. So I don't know how to resolve this. If you find a way to make it better please let me know!
IMG_4710.JPG (3271.5 KB, 40 downloads) 1 year old IMG_4713.JPG (3709.1 KB, 32 downloads) 1 year old 
Is there some need of his he needs met? Maybe you can work on that first, and see if that ups the compliments...or see if you can use it "to your advantage"...for example...if he wants to have sex more often...tell him the physical compliments make you turned on our more confident in the bedroom?
I think I hear a little more now than I did when we were dating/engaged because it was long distance and he never saw me.
I like that fi doesn't tell me veery moment of every day because every few days when he sayd "You look cute", or "you look great", than I know it really means something. But it's also adorable when we get up in the morning and he says "you're so pretty".
I love being married!
Mr. Powder Puff tells me all the time how beautiful I am. That's one of the reasons I fell for him! And it definitely hasn't decreased now that we're married.
Mr. Flamingo doesn't need to go that far, but you should hear it every once in awhile! Sometimes guys think things and don't verbalize them- so tell him you need to hear it!
I think this comment is telling -- "well of course you are, I married you didn't I?" My husband thinks along those lines too... his approval of me is very often unspoken, because he's a dude and he says things once and he'll let you know if it changes. Very practical and not at all romantic. :) It's taken a long while and a lot of prodding and "leading by example" (ie, giving HIM lots of compliments) to get his compliments more often. I'd say just be patient, pick the times that you bring it up carefully, and try to reassure yourself when it's not a good time to bring it up with something else positive that shows his love, like "I can tell he loves me because he works so hard to support us" or "I can tell he loves me because he took out the trash for me."
Oh, and sometimes the whole naked thing can be overkill... try sexy underwear and an apron while you cook. I did that last week for "Husband Appreciation Day" and he LOVED it. 
We've been married 5 months my husband still tells me beautiful things, I am still shocked.
I can be in his sweater with cloth curlers in my hair he will tell you , my wife is very beautiful. I ask what does he likea bout me the most, he says your booty, hahaha I laugh because he knows how to make me feel hot.
He is still all over me and still very affectionate
What I get from my husband is that he feels I don't try as hard to be cute. We had a funny argument last night about what items of clothing he'd let Stacy and Clinton throw out if I ever got to the "what not to wear" point. Apparently my favorite fuzzy sweater is first on the list!
My husband still compliments me on my looks pretty often, but I TOTALLY get what you mean because it's not the same. Just last night I was watching a movie and the guy was giving the girl *that look* where he wants her so badly, and then they started kissing with so much passion and I was like, AHH! I miss that! I mean, sure, we have passion, and he makes me feel good about myself, but it is Not The Same as it is when we first started dating. It's still attraction but it's not the kind that makes you feel like a serious hottie. I wish I had some words of wisdom but I'd suggest talking to him abotu the importance of him complimenting you more often. Say something now before it becomes even more of a pattern!
You're not alone...I can't remember when the last time was that my husband said I was beautiful. And honestly, there are days when that's really hard for me (I'm definitely a words of affirmation and physical touch sort of person, for those of you who are familiar with "the Five Love Languages"). I've talked to my husband about needing words of affirmation, but it feels awkward to tell him that I really need him to compliment my physical looks, because that seems kind of vain, you know? And I know that giving words of affirmation is really hard for him because he's a quiet (and logical/practical) sort of person, so he doesn't really think about it. I think it's just one of those things that you have to remind him of periodically (lovingly, of course, more as a "just so you know..." statement rather than a "You never...." statement) and then give him some time to learn.
I honestly think it is all me. I have never had a high self esteem about my appearance and it hasn't gotten any better since I have been preggie.
If for any reason I put myself down or say something about my looks, he immediately interrupts me and says, "Stop making fun of my wife!" and he isn't joking when he says it.
I do know that on some occasions I remind him that sometimes women need not only words but actions to show us that a man cares about us. This stemmed from when he was suffering from his herniated disc, he was completely miserable. At that point he couldn't think about anything but his pain, so I felt a little shut out. Since he has been getting better, he has been getting back to his old self which I missed very much.
I think it has picked up since we got married, I have to dress nice for work, but I definitely bum out when I'm at home. I get random compliments throughout the week so he's good at changing it up. I think you need to have a serous talk with him - tell him you don't want to feel needy, but you can't help but notice that things aren't the same and you just need some reassurance every now and then.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Brielle | 44 |
| ndreighton | 32 |
 vorpalette |
29 |
| caseyleigh10 | 26 |
| les105 | 24 |
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| fishbone | 23 |
| lionskitty | 22 |
| SouthernGirl | 21 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Miss Apricot | 1 |
| indyJEEP | 1 |
| BRbee | 1 |
| Hobokenbride2012 | 1 |
| msmolar | 1 |
| Fall_In_Love22 | 1 |
| MarryMeTiffany | 1 |
| miss snickerdoodle | 1 |
| takemyhand | 1 |
| Dizbee | 1 |
So my question is this:
Since you've been married... has your relationship changed? Does your husband still look at you the same way when you started dating, or before you were married?
It may be a stupid question, but I find that because its official, that I'm married... he doesnt need to make me feel beautiful, attractive or sexy... cuz its a "done deal"
I know this is wrong... and can cause eventual issues
just wondering if its only me... maybe Im just insecure... who knows!