(Closed) Do you feel like you're in a "waiting" stage for children?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Actually yes. Sort of. We’re planning on expating and we’re planning to work on the baby making once we establish ourselves in that country. We know that it will happen between 2-3 years out of our wedding, so there is a timeline there if our plans of immigrating dont work out or we decide to stay. 

But I am anxious to have kids soon. Part of it is doubt. Women in my family have high rates of infertility and I also grew up in an area where there was a gas spill in our water supply, so I worry about that as well since some studies are suggesting that it may effect my ability to reproduce (in addition to other super scary health things).  I more of just want to know if it is possible. I know we are not ready and the wedding has to come first, but I’m not a patient person. 

Post # 5
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@AmeliaBedelia:  Awww girl. I know exactly what you mean. I just want a doctor to say I’m good to go. I stopped taking BC because I was paranoid that it was hurting me. And I’m not losing weight for the wedding or even my general health, but to up my chances in carrying a kid. 

If not, we have a plan of adopting if we are childless by me turning 33 (so, 7 years). We mutually decided not to do any IVF treatments (even though I was conceived through IVF).  

Post # 7
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m in that new waiting period 🙂

Part of me has the desire to do it NOW. and the other part is wait, wait , wait. It’s frusterating cause its a lot more serious than “getting a ring” and there are so many factors invovled in the process!

Post # 9
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I definitely feel like I’m in a “waiting” stage.  I’m pretty established in my career, there really isn’t anywhere to go unless I want to become an administrator and that’s not something I want to do before we have a family, too much stress and time.  But my husband has been substitute teaching for 2 years now hoping to get a contract somewhere but with all the cuts the districts are making he just isn’t finding anything. That’s the hardest part.  We’re both ready and wanting to have a kid but it is not financially possible for us to pay for daycare right now, that’s the only thing stopping us.  Once he has a contract he’ll be making 2-3 times what he does now and we’ll be able to afford it then.  It’s just frustrating to be waiting for some unknown amount of time, he could find something next week, it could be another 2 years, and I’m not getting any younger!

@ohmybears48:  That’s how I feel.  I think I’d be fine waiting if I knew that waiting wouldn’t make it harder for us to conceive but I’m already 30, almost 31, so I know waiting much longer is just going to make things harder.

Post # 11
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@AmeliaBedelia:  It’s really awkward trying to answer people when they ask when we’re going to have kids (people don’t even ask if we’re going to but rather when we’re going to, but that’s another issue entirely) and we have to reply “when he gets a contract.”  It’s kind of funny because people just kind of go “oh”.   His mom wants grandkids so badly, she started asking when we were having kids even before we were engaged, she mentioned it on our wedding video, during my husband’s thank you speech at the wedding, and to all of her friends (who apologized for all her baby talk), but she asks pretty much everytime we see her (she did say she would stop asking) and we just keep telling her the same thing.

Post # 12
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

OMGoodness yes, and I’m now in that “Know He’s Got The Ring and Not Long Now” stage, if we’re comparing it to the Waiting for Marriage girls we have on here. We’ve decided to start trying in December and there are many reasons why that’s a good idea (losing more weight, saving more money, getting anxiety under control) but I definitely have the baby fever!

I also have PCOS and that’s definitely played a part in wanting to try sooner. I don’t know how long it is going to take – I had a teen student at school consistently harass me about when I was having children, etc and I turned around the third time she asked and told her that I had no idea when I’d actually be having children as we haven’t tried to have them yet.

Cue her brain ticking over for about ten seconds… “Oh…. ewwww!” – “Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to”… she hasn’t asked again LOL.

Post # 13
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Oh yes! We have been married over 2 years and are still waiting and have no idea when we will be able to start trying. It hasn’t really bothered me until recently. We have good reasons for waiting, I’m not established in my career, I would like to have full time work, we want to pay off all our CC debt, get a more family friendly car, get our house set up. But in the last month or so I have been getting really frustrated. I work part time for a company I love and have been trying to get full time but it isn’t happening. I have been there nearly 2 years and its just so irritating. If I were to get full time we could probably manage to do all our pre-ttc stuff in about 6 months, so it’s really hard to know that’s all it would take and it’s just not happening. I think the reason it’s really starting to bother me is because I am starting to really feel ready to start trying, I’m really looking forward to expanding our family and I would really like to know when we can do that. 

Post # 14
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in the waiting stage. I’m always ready to move onto the next thing. Hubby and I have already discussed starting a family in 1 to 2 years. We want to pay off student loans, work on getting a house, and perhaps get me into a better job. I work as a Teacher Aide, which I love but the pay is not ideal, I’m starting a afterschool program that will let me use my fine arts degree more and make up the gap in pay left by the other job. We live well, but have a ways to go before bringing another life into this world. 

Post # 15
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@AmeliaBedelia:  I am sure a lot of people can relate!

I find it rude when people ask when the kids are coming. It’s just a pet peeve I guess. I am not even married yet and I get that question. At least my bf’s parents and my mom aren’t pushing for grandkids, though (bf’s parents have 3 right now, luckily!).

For me, I definitely don’t feel like I’m in a ‘waiting’ stage for kids just yet. I am so caught up in selecting the e-ring and thinking about my wedding/honeymoon (nothing too big wedding-wise but I still have been thinking about it more and more these days). My bf is a lot older than me and definitely wants kids. I am leaning towards definitely having at least one child, but it’s still something that I’m afraid of. Some days I think having a kid would be great, and other days I think OMG it sounds like work, work, work etc. We’ve set a timeline – we might start trying 3-4 years from now so I will be 30-31. Hopefully by then we’ll have been married for a couple of years and I will be less apprehensive about it all.

Post # 16
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I will turn 30 a month after we say I do plus I told my friends and family that if I ever married again it would be because we wanted kids so I figure the baby questions will be pretty quick.  We’ve already discussed it and decided that we want to be married for a year first and then we’ll seriously discuss whether we’re ready for a baby.  If not, we’ll put another timeline on it that way we’re both on the same page.

That said, we’ve been bad with the baby fever lately.  It seems like everyone we know has these adorable small children and FH is fascinated by them.  I know we both want to vacation to Europe before TTC because we figure once we have a baby it will be a few years before we’re comfortable enough traveling that far without them.

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