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That's our dynamic as well. I'm much more detail-oriented and a planner, his philosophy is "we'll deal with it when it comes up." Kind of irritating, but it makes us a good match. He calms me down, I help him not to forget important things, etc.
Yes, ABSOLUTELY! I stress way more than the hubs. He is definitely more laid back and usually always says, "we will work it out". Of course, sometimes that is not enough for me. I want a plan and some structure but that is not how he sees things. I have to say that it really does help us compromise and work things out. He helps me calm down a bit :)
Oh yes. I am definitely the Type A stressaholic, worrywart, MUST DO IT RIGHT NOW THIS VERY SECOND. He's very more laid back than me. Sometimes i don't get it but 99% of the time it keeps me from getting compulsive freako on stuff
I know it makes for a good match but right now I'm started to get a little pissed off. I am sick to my stomach and haven't been sleeping and he thinks everything is great.
haha that could have been ME writing that post, I swear, Roxy! I've had many meltdowns in the past few months, and one of the things that makes it even worse is when he doesn't seem to be worried one bit! haha, i feel like I need to freak out enough for both of us!
That was so us!! I say WAS bc that was us months ago. I was constantly tearing myself up over the money, and where it would come from!My FI had lost his job right after Christmas and money was tight! meanwhile my FI was "don't worry... we'll figure it out" drove me batty!!! Now that it's closer to the wedding things have fallen into place and the stress level was taken way down!! LOTS of praying!!! Don't worry, you're not alone in this :) and like the other ladies- we work well together, I'm more structed and he helps me not to stress over every little thing! Hang in there :)
On a daily basis I stress more, but surprisingly in times of crisis: he's the stressball & I'm calm!
I was wondering if this was a trick question.
I stress alot but FH is very good at calming me or irritating me with the 'we will be right' but I have learnt that no one is going to care more about this wedding than I will, so of course Im going to be stressed. But it is how I choose to manage it is the make or break factor, days off from wedding stuff.. date nights, social life. Buying a stressball.. making checklists is how I deal with it.
Sometimes it gets to much, and its just solved with a hug from FH and those annoying and iritating words 'we will be right' but they say if you can survive wedding planning you can survive anything.. Im starting to think thats right!
We are in a similar position, and I think we switch off about being stressed about life at different times. I also think we have different ways of expressing our stress, so perhaps that is what is going on with him. I'll not sleep sometimes thinking about everything and not know how he can be sleeping so peacefully, and then I'll find a spreadsheet with all of our upcoming spending and how to manage costs on building a house, and know he's been thinking about it too. Most of the time he's of the "it will all work out, don't worry about it" if I ask though. Maybe your FI is thinking about it and trying not to add to your stress by being visibly stressed in front of you. Or maybe he's just not the stressed out type of person in general. Find a way to get away from the money and costs for a few days to allow yourself to destress. Or sit down with what money you have, what you've spent, what you have to pay,etc. Once you know where you really are, it might help make some decisions as you go forward.
that's pretty much how things worked with us too. it's definitely calmed down for me now... and i'm trying to take FI's approach... 'it'll all work out, we'll make it work" attitude...
the only thing i'm stressing now about is my dad's growing list of guests! :(
we take our turns. usually it's me stressing out and going crazy, and crying over irrational things (thinking we're going broke, going crazy over the wedding budget, etc.) but as we got closer to the wedding, my husband was the one stressing out and going nuts, and i was fine. i think because he was stressing out i knew he was getting things done, so i was like whatever, i know it will get done. and i could see what it was doing to him, and it was stupid, so i didn't do it to myself.
Yes! This is so us! We're like so many other bee couples out there. I'm a major worry-wart, and he's my rock who calms me down. I couldn't have made it through the wedding planning process without him b/c he was my rational voice when I was completely flipping out. And I love him for it.
I do tend to worry when he gets stressed. We were having issues with our tenants recently, and he's at the tail end of finishing school, and he was ridiculously stressed out dealing with everything. When he's stressed, I'm the voice of reason which is such a role reversal! But we compliment each other well with that.
ugh, most definitely!! i'm the worry-wort / anxiety- ridden / nail bitter..... hes the "things-will-work-out-on-their-own-why-are-you-worried-about-anything-and-everything" type. It definitely can be annoying but, like other posters, we balance each other out. He calms my nerves and gives me perspective, i remind him that sometimes things just don't "fall into place".
I 'm freaking out right now because we are moving in 5 months... we both don't have jobs lined up, don't know where we will live, and wedding planning on top of all that. I lose sleep and worry constantly, he says "we'll figure it out 2 weeks before we move"!! what!??
I'm a ball of stress and anxiety 24/7. FI is the calm, collected one.
Our yin/yang in this regard is a huge part of why we work together! I'm a ball of emotion and super high-strung (there's not an anti-anxiety drug I haven't tried at least once) whereas my fiance works on a trading floor with hundreds of screaming alpha-males throwing things all day. I would politely hang myself in the corner in his situation, but he zens out, does 18 things at once and still managed to design our monogram (yes on company time). NOTHING bothers him.
Of course, his easygoing attitude isn't always great. He lacks the ability to ever "hurry". I'm contantly dragging him down the street and he's usually late. So while he helps calm me down and keep things in perspective, I make sure he gets places on time=)
Totally! When I stress out, FI says, "it will work out." Then I have to convince him that it won't just work out on it's own...I have to MAKE it work out, haha. He is constantly trying to calm me down. I don't know how he just doesn't get stressed!
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FI and I are under a lot of stress right now trying to come up with money for the wedding, house, furniture, etc.
I am so stressed. I feel like I can cry at any moment, I don't sleep well, and can't bring myself to relax. FI on the other hand could care less, he just says "we will figure it out". It drives me crazy. I am staring at the numbers trying to make them work and no matter what I do I just can't figure it out and he is so relaxed about it or at least appears to be.
Anyone else's FI/DH seem to be so relaxed when you are beyond stressed out?