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It really depends what you mean by "the pants"...I would say that I handle the scheduling of our activities and our household (cooking, cleaning, etc). He makes more money and is the breadwinner. As for big decisions, we make all of those together, so I guess we share the pants? We each get a leg :)
We don't really have a head of household. We make decisions together. I am sort of the CFO of the relationship though, I deal with the financial stuff.
I guess I'm the "head of household" by that definition- big decisions (planning, financial, etc) generally go through me. He's happy to let someone else take the lead on that kind of stuff. I ask him what he thinks we should do and sometimes he has ideas, but it's not like he's going to proactively start researching the best mortgage or auto loan or whatever.
But we both earn the same amount.
I don't really think of myself as "head of household."
I'm a housewife and my husband works two jobs. I handle the cooking and cleaning, grocery shopping, etc... He decides what bills to pay and when. He's way better at handling money so I leave that part to him:) We have very traditional views on how how the household should be run.
DH & I make decisions together, especially big ones. As far as chores, I take care of the cooking and cleaning because DH works and I don't. When I was working we both would do our share of chores.
I guess I wasn't really brought up w/ "traditional" roles. I always saw that decisions and the such were made together, and whatever needed to be done around the house got done, it didn't matter by whom.
We make decisions together, but even more so with the big decisions. I'm still finishing up school, but I will make significantly more when I graduate. We've talked about it, and we don't expect that will affect our day-to-day relationship though.
DH makes more money than I do, but I'm the "long range planner" and CFO of the relationship. We discuss things, but I tend to be more analytical, and DH is happy to coast.
I currently earn more, so I take on more of the financial responsibilities, but everything else is split equally and we make decisions together.
It definitely does depend what you mean by pants. I am sort of the "manager," because DH works all the time- so I manage other things like bills and cleaning, budgets, goals, life plans, ideas for improving our lives, things like that. I am the brains, he is the brawn. We make decisions together. He also cooks a lot, when is has the time, and will help with cleaning if he is available and I ask him to. We both have equal but different roles.
For the most part we share the responsibilities but I guess if we had to pick a "head of household", FI would be it. He makes more than double what I make but we make all of our financial decisions together, as a team.
I'm on the same page with hilsy85 (each getting a leg - very cute!) While I am very traditional and old-fashioned, I don't believe in the man having all the say or the "barefoot & pregnant" thing. We both have our roles, if you will, as he is the breadwinner and I'm a housewife (I take care of the cooking/cleaning - but he'll help if I ask). The big decisions, however, we make together, although he handles the money because that's his forte. I do believe the man should be a man (be the breadwinner and be strong for his family) and the woman, while I'm all for women having careers if that's what they want, should also take care of the household (just my opinion!) But we are equals. I think it's very unusual for a woman to be a breadwinner and the man to stay at home, but everyone has to find what works best for them. As long as one doesn't control the other! I love how they say in My Big Fat Greek Wedding- the man is the head but the woman is the neck, and the neck controls any which way she wants the head to go :)
Hmmm...well DH is an accountant so he handles all of our finances, however we both make financial decisions as a team. He tends to cook more (I prefer to bake) and we both clean up whenever it's neaded.
I voted neither because we both share the responsibilites. We run major decisions through each other before we decide anything. We both look at the relationship as 50/50 and us both being equals. Although my SO always says he wears the pants in the relationship and I just laugh at him. I think that's his way of stroking his ego because we both know that's not true.
We're a team. Financially we make roughly the same salary, so neither is a traditional breadwinner, but I would say that I'm more of the CFO of the relationship. I'm better at researching big buys (like cars), where my husband is more of an impulse "I like it" buyer.
Housework-wise, he does clean a lot more than I do, and we share cooking because we both love to cook.
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So, I'm curious, do you or your SO have a certain "position" in your relationship? I.e. does one of you wear the pant, the other one wear the skirt or do both of you share your responsibilities? I'm just curious how many people still follow the old common rule of the man being the "head of the household". Although my parents continuously preached that my dad was the one who made the big decisions and my mom made the little ones, my dad worked two jobs my whole life so generally speaking she made a large amount of the decisions herself due to his "absence" In our relationship I told my man from the beginning that I wanted him to keep me in line if I started going crazy and I didn't want him to be abusive obviously I just wanted him to be domineering in the relationship.
In my eyes "head of household" is just someone who ensures that things are running smoothly, the big decisions are passing through them, etc. We don't really have this idea going on. My FI works with me on every decision we make, and we both try our hardest to spilt up the chores for both of us. There are a lot of times where I just end up doing a lot of the chores myself though because he doesn't know how but it's ok I'm used to it.
ETA: my dad always had the final say on something, it didn't mean that they didn't talk about the decisions, but what my dad said would be what happened.