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Disappointing wedding pictures are hard 
I have worked with a few brides that were in this boat after the fact.
Here's an idea: Have you consider a trash the dress shot? Some brides that are unhapppy with their pictures will book another post wedding session (you don't have to trash the dress if you don't want), get all dolled up and capture additional pictures in your dress with your groom. This is a good solution when there is bad weather, timelines get messed up or in your situation, you're not happy with the result.
Good Luck!
Awww, sorry to hear this. You are having another party though, right? Are you wearing your dress again and getting all dolled up?
@PurpleUnicorn: oh noooooo I was totally looking forward to seeing your pro pics! I really feel bad that you feel this way :-( poop. I know I will prob feel the same way that you do.. great on the day but nit pick everything when I see the pics. I asked FI if we could renew our vows in a different place and different way every 5 years and he agrees. I am really happy because that gives me something to look forward to/improve upon. But I feel like what you are feeling if just natural.
Btw, I remember your wedding photos and you looked STUNNING. And the trash the dress was magazine worthy, you are gorgeous my dear!
@Pink Lady Krista: actually we did a TTD session and i LOVE those pictures!! in fact, i love most of my wedding pics, just not the ceremony one and the ones i have with my BMs. those were 2 of the most important things to me, thats why its so hard. even on my wedding day, i have a TON of amazing shots of just me and my hubby. we went all over the resort and got awesome pics, we just ran out of time to do the same thing with the BMs. and the ceremony location was not my fave area of the beach. but the wedding coordinator really recommended it because it was quiet and private, so i felt obliged to go along. now i regret that decision.
@RR: yes for my at home party, i was planning to wear the dress i wore for my TTD. but since i was not so happy with my BM pics, i have decided we will do a little photo shoot somewhere near the water in montreal in the afternoon before our BBQ reception. and i will wear my real wedding dress for these pics. so i am excited about that, but it still does not replace the caribbean ocean pics i dont have with them.
@PurpleUnicorn: That stinks! :-( I haven't gotten married yet, but I think I know what you're talking about to a point because I am worried that this will happen to me....
@RR has a good suggestion about getting all dressed up and doing an after-shoot with your husband and perhaps a different photographer!
@MrsNeutrino: i have thought about doing a vow renewal for our 10 year anniversary. it will be a good time since that is when we are set to open our wine box and read the letters we wrote each other. i just really wanted my actual wedding to be perfect. i know i just have to accept that nothing is perfect and as my hubby tells me - if we had done the wedding somewhere else, there would have been something different that was not as perfect as i wanted.
@RR: thanks for your complements :)
@MrsNeutrino: i do have some hope that when i actually see my pro pics on DVD they will look better. right now i have only seen the sneak peek (which i love, because they are the best ones), and then i have seen all my 1000 plus pro pics in thumbnail size on my photographers website. i have hope that once i get the real images on DVD and make an album of the best ones, then i can focus on and look at only those. i hope.
I love blogs, but lately, when I look at the weddings on wedding blogs, I feel ugly. Maybe it's akin to teenagers feeling inferior to models in fashion mags, something. Left behind long ago.
I hired a photographer who I love, but I'm so afraid that no matter how pretty the flowers and decor are, I'll ruin the pictures.
BTW, I remember your purple arch and chair bows...I don't remember any sad trees at all from your wedding pics!
I had the same problem with my engagement pictures. I actually cried when I saw them.
But now I love them - I think it was just expectations from seeing all those beautiful models but once I realized that those shoots weren't even 'us', I was able to get over it.
Hope you can overcome these feelings! They suck :(
@Jeannine @ Small Chic: thanks! your comment helps. i know i am focusing on the negative and once i get past it, i will be happy again. i like that u only remember the purple stuff, but i sure did LOVE my arch and chair ties!
You shouldn't be sad at all. I went back through your posts to see you photos and saw this:
That is surely something that doesn't happen to everyone. Absolutley gorgeous! You were featured GIRL! This is something to be so proud of! Your wedding was amazing! Whenever you are feeling sad, I would go back to think link and remind myself what an awesome job I did! :)
PS. The sand does not look yellow. At all. ;)
@Jeannine I feel the same way too! I think that I am on wedding overload, and I have planned several weddings before, but I had emotional distance....it wasn't my wedding then. I keep seeing all of these perfect brides, and I am just afraid that my photographer doesn't have enough photo shop to make me look that way. I think I may just be crazy.
OP you pics are probably far better to everyone else. Its likely that you can't see past the flaws. I think we may all have a little wedding dysmorphic disorder :/
@Heart-Shaped-Heather: wedding dysmorphic disorder - there is a term i have not heard before! lol. maybe thats what it is.
@Miss Seersucker: lol, thanks!
you all are really making me feel better. my hubby makes me feel better a lot of the time too, but it never lasts. thats why i decided to post about it here. another strategy that will hopefully stick,
Like when I looked at your pictures and got depressed? Yes, I know what you mean! All the pictures I saw were beautiful. Your cake and placecards were perfect!
Before wedding, when I saw posts like these, I thought those girls were seriously crazy. Now I am a little less judgemental. OK, a lot less judgemental. I suppose it is something like Post Partum Depression, without the hormones.
I know I had a beautiful and very fun wedding. I watch the video and can SEE that people are having a great time, everyone is genuinely happy. Many people would kill for a wedding like that, but I still keep coming back to what wasn't perfect. Unfortunately one of the big problems was the photographer and that's all I have left.
What I have learned is that I have to stay away from SMP and other sites that feature unbelievable weddings. Totally depressing! Also, it does get better with time. If I could just find another hobby that is more interesting...
@Heart-Shaped-Heather: Love that term. I think it will be a new WeddingBee classic like "Nacho Bustle":)
I purposely don't look at other bride's recap posts because I know I will get upset. I am so mad about how our wedding photos came out. Our photogs put absolutely no effort into our event and the photos show.
Didn't you have an amazing high-end photographer and didn't your wedding end up on Style Me Pretty? (could be confusing you with another bee!)
If so, I think you are definitely getting caught up in unimportant details and not seeing the forest for the trees. Not one of us that looked at your photos thought your wedding was anything short of gorgeous. Does the geologic makeup of the sand that determines the color of it matter so much that you continue to obsess over it? Because there are so many amazing (and important) things to remember about your day.
Your wedding was amazing! I just looked at the blogged pics and featured blog on weddingstar.
@PurpleUnicorn: We are emotional twins, lol :) I can only focus on the negative things and i know i will never get over some certain issues.
Our wedding ( in Florida) was wonderful but there are some things i wish i could change. I am not happy with our beach, it wasn't as beautiful as i wanted it to be and it just doesn't look like all those beautiful beaches i have seen in other people's wedding photos, but it was our only option. We didn't have any decoration like an arch or similar because of our small budget and now i totally regret that we didn't save more money.
The low budget was the reason why i did my own hair and that was the biggest mistake ever and that is what hurts the most. I HATE the way it looks! I have waist-long hair and my plan was to wear it open or half up/half down or a ( pretty!) very loose low bun with lots of curls hanging down and around my face. My home trials went well, but i had to buy a new curler because my european one doesn't work in the US. The new one totally sucked, it didn't curl! After almost two hours i gave up and somehow tied my hair in the neck. It looks ok from the side, but i hate the way it looks from the front, it is sooo unflattering and makes my face look like a pancake.
And then there is "the tooth problem", lol. I don't know why but there are so many pictures where my upper front tooth sticks between my lips and it looks so stupid. I guess it's probably because i didn't drink much and my lips and mouth were so dry. It looks so awkward and i have never had that before. DH says it's not that bad but i know it is. It ruins some photos that otherwise would have been very very pretty. Definately not my photographers fault. She did an amazing job and i love her style and the photos in general, we got tons of wonderful pictures. But ugly hair and tooth is ugly hair and tooth, and even the best camera and photographer can't change that ;)
I always had the vision of me looking absolutely perfect and stunning on my wedding day. I'm not an ugly person but i wanted to look as amazing and gorgeous as never before and i just didn't. I have tons of photos of myself where i look so much better than on my wedding day.
So when i look at the recaps and wedding blogs now i think every bride is so, so gorgeous and it feels like a stab in the heart.
Then there is our stupid officiant, my terrible bouquet and the groom not having a boutonniere because of the damn officiant. But i don't want to write a novel.
I see what you mean with the sand not being white and no palm trees, but your wedding does look wonderful! Otherwise it wouldn't be featured on Weddingstar, right? Won't happen with my wedding...
I don't have any good advice but what helps me is that i created a folder on my computer with my favorite photos and and everytime i start feeling sad i look at the pictures there and it makes me feel much better. And i tell myself that in the end all that matters is that i'm married to the man i love and that we did what we always wanted: getting married at the beach.
It rained all day, so we couldn't get the outside pics that I wanted. So yes, when I see awesome pics that remind me of what could have been, I get a little upset. But, we are going to get my SIL (who is a photographer) to do a TTD with me and the hubs this fall at the place I wanted outdoor pics. Even though we won't be able to have our whole bridal party, I think that will help make up for it
I say this in the most gentle way possible.
You need to stop fixating on your wedding. It's over now, it was beautiful and a wonderful day I'm sure, but you seem to be obsessing. Move on to something else for awhile, find a project, plan a trip, anything.
I got married in a courthouse. It wasn't my dream wedding, but that's what was available to me at the time. I'm sure someday I'll have a wonderful wedding, but if I don't that's ok too because I have a good marriage. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but sometimes not every minute detail is perfect. You got married on a beautiful beach with dresses and flowers, and bridesmaids and a great photographer. Not everyone is even nearly as fortunate.
Girl you are silly! I remember seeing your post about your wedding being featured in weddingstar and you looked so beautiful! I am also getting married on the beach and got more excited after seeing your pic recaps.
@JoJo Bananas: thats what i need to do, stay away from recaps! but i cant help myself! and most recaps are not beach weddings, so i really do like looking at those....its just the ones with big white beautiful beaches that get me down. by the way, i looked back at your posts and thought your pics were gorgeous!!!! i LOVED the church where you got married, so beautiful!
@crayfish: i did have an awesome photographer. my wedding was featured in Weddingstar, not Style Me Pretty. They featured it because of our TTD shoot. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE our TTD pics, like LOVE them! the only thing that upsets me are my ceremony pics....and its not at all because of my photographer. its because of the lack of palm trees with ugly trees in its place (I would have preferred no trees!), and the small, non-white beach. but i have my ups and downs, today i am feeling better after reading all your comments, so thanks!
@Usuki: ok, so i saved writing back to you in a separate post, because i have just as much to write to you as you did to me! here goes:
I mean this in the best way possible - i think you are NUTS for not being happy with your beach!!!! And because i think you are nuts, your reply made me feel more better than all the others, LOL! I just looked back at your pics on your photog's blog and i remember it. i remember YOUR beach pics were one of the top recaps that got me more depressed about my beach!! what i see when i look at your pics is the beach i WISH i got married on!!!!! i would give up my beautiful purple and white arch for it!! so now you made me think that if YOU are not happy, then maybe, just maybe, i am being too negative and things are better than i am seeing!! so thank you for that. I hope my reply to you has an effect on you as well.... Oh, and i think your bouquet is to do DIE for, but maybe that is personal preference. i always dreamed of a big bouquet of roses. but i didn;t care about it enough to spend more money on it, so i took the bouquet that was given to me in my wedding package, i didnt pay extra for it. and i was content with it. Flowers were not a priority for me, so i am really not upset or anything, but i do remember seeing that pic of your bouquet and having a moment of "oh i would have loved to have had that!".
as for your "tooth problem", um well, let's just say that if i was not actively looking for it after you pointed it out, i would NEVER have noticed it. even now, i am not sure if there is a "tooth" pic in your blog like you were referring to, i saw one pic where i could kinda see your tooth, but you looked gorgeous. the way you described it here i was looking for beaver-like pics! And I truly LOVE your hair, it looks like the perfect beach hairstyle. if you said you paid to get it done, i would believe it!!
last, i think what you did with your wedding photos in a folder of the best is a good idea. that is what i am planning to do as soon as i get my DVD of pro pics. And i want to print them and make an album. then i plan to forget about everyhting and go back to be happy. I keep thinking back to how i felt ON my wedding day and for days after. i remember telling everyone so sincerely that everything was PERFECT! And now i know that i thought everything was perfect because i was so sublimely happy and it was feeling of being so happy to be getting married to the love of my love that just made everythng seem perfect. since coming down from that "high", i have been feeling like i am seeing things in "reality" now. but i know at the end of the day all that matters is that i am married, and i had an AWESOME wedding, it was beautiful, and even if every little detail is not perfect, then that's okay, because nothing in life ever is.
I think it makes it hard when you have a destination wedding in some exotica beautiful place you put alot of pressure on the photos being AMAZING! So when they're not what you have built it up to or expected it is easy to feel disappointed. I haven't seen any of you pics though, so I can't really comment but I am sure everything looked beautiful. Try not to be sad little bee :(
@Miss Pinup: its not so much my pics that i dont like, i actually love them, but its when i see them and see others, i see what i sacrificed (ie., nicer beach).
@PurpleUnicorn: I think the problem is that we spend so much time looking at other people's wedding photos and we only get see the perfect pictures, always. Nice blogs like SMP or similar mainly feature weddings where the couple had a generous budget and ( often) high-end photographers. Of course they only show the best-looking photos and not the ones where something went wrong or the bride has a stupid facial expression or whatsoever. In the recaps here we also mainy see the best photos, no bride wants to show unflattering pictures of herself or of things she was really unhappy with. This is only natural. We only see what seems to be perfect and never the negative things. All in all this creates a "perfection overload" which makes us think that this is our once-in-a-lifetime chance to do something amazing so it HAS to be flawless, because we will never have that opportunity again. We feel like we have to keep up with all those other couples: Their wedding was perfect and ours at least has to be the same, but preferably even better. If they could, we also HAVE to.
Of course this is ridiculous because like you already said nothing in life is ever perfect and we will always find something that we could have done better. But being so critical with ourselves is not necessarily bad. In real life ( not wedding related) it helps us to admit and learn from our mistakes and make it better next time. So from that point of view it is a good thing to realize the negative aspects- we simply must not allow ourselves to torture us by fading out the positive ones. Instead let's try to turn the bad things into something good, like:
"The beach wasn't perfect " turns into "Hey, we got married at the beach! A lot of people would like to do that but for several reason they can't. We could and we did and it was wonderful!"
"I didn't like my flowers" turns into "Flowers are such a wonderful thing given to us by nature and they looked so beautiful, fresh and in full bloom"
"My tooth is visible in the pictures" turns into "Thank god i still have my teeth and can afford going to the dentist" ;)
Speaking about it, here's an example ( thank god for giving me a good sense of humor) 
I'm not married yet so I spend all my time looking at other ppl's pics. I can honestly say your pics are absolutely gorgeous, and different, and unique! I'm going to be depressed if mine don't look as good as yours 
I struggled for a long time with how the wedding turned out. Some aspects (like flowers and my dress) just didn't match what I wanted. Not to mention the fact that I was really, really disappointed in my lack of weight loss before. I hate how I look in some shots, and it's not like they can be recreated. It was really hard to swallow and process at first.
Now that I am writng re-caps and re-living the day through writing about it, it's gotten much, much easier. I've been able to look past the flaws and feel the emotions of the day again. There are things I would change if I could go back, but in the end I am happy with how the whole thing turned out (and the end result of being MARRIED of course!)
When I saw this post, I had to check to make sure you were the same person I thought you were lol. Because your pics were AMAZING! I'll be married here on the beach in FL (native) & I can only hope the ocean looks that beautiful my in pics- I love everything about your wedding. Maybe do as a PP suggested & get your favorites sorted somewhere, then take a break from all things wedding for awhile, especially other's recaps. Take up a new project or something & later come back to look only at the ones you love. We are so desensitized by all the wedding porn, some of us really can't see the beauty in our own (real!) weddings... which is sad. Good luck, hope this passes 
My advice to you - stop looking at other people's wedding photos! Try to see the positive in your own photos. Use them as a reminder of the amazing day that you had. Focus on the great wedding you did have and the great marriage you do have!
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Beekeeper
i have been lately and it sux. my wedding is over and as if that is not depressing enough, all of a sudden i can only focus on the negative aspects. like the beach i got married on was not a big white beautiful beach that i always dreamed. the sand was more yellow and there were some ugly trees that got in a lot of my ceremony pics. no palm trees. so now whenever i see people post destination wedding photos, i get so depressed and i hate that i feel this way. i was soooo incredibly happy on my wedding day and i remember thinking and feeling that everything was PERFECT! and the little things that were not perfect did not matter at all. but now, i just want to cry when i think about it and wish i could go back and pick a different location and i get so upset.
i don;t know what is wrong with me. i want to feel positive and happy, but lately i just don't :(
and i think this started happening since i saw all my pro pics, they were just not as beautiful as i dreamed they would be.
does this happen to anyone else? how can i make myself feel better and love my wedding like i did when it actually happened?