Post # 1
Do you get offended when people ask when you will have a baby? So we’ve been married like 6 months, and people think first come love, then comes marriage, and then comes one in a baby carriage.
Do you find this rude? And if you do, what do you guys say to deflect such a question?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
It doesn’t bother me, we want kids in 5-7 years so that’s what I tell them. I guess I would probably be put off if we weren’t planning on having kids…But since we plan to eventually TTC, it doesn’t offend me. I usually elaborate a little and explain how we want to grow together and do some more experiences like international travel before we have kids, and everyone has been understanding…
Post # 4
@carbear02: Well, I’m older (getting married in 3 months) so when people ask those questions I just lie and say “we’re trying” but don’t have enough money for fertillity treatments. It usually gets people to leave us alone, I have yet to convince someone to give me money…..working on that lol.
Post # 5
I don’thave a problem with it, but I’m TERRIFIED that we’re going to have fertility problems and everyone will know!
Post # 6
Have a couple of neutral responses like, “All in due time…” or “We’re just enjoying being married!”.
I find that people are just trying to make small talk, unless it’s family or close friends, and they’re really wondering.
Post # 7
The best response to any question you don’t want to answer is “why do you ask?”. Make them feel uncomfortable for asking!
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
I don’t really care. I understand where it’s coming from– we’re married, been together a long time, have good jobs, in our mid to late 20s… yeah, it’s pretty much time.
In response, I just chuckle and say the first will be here by the time I’m 30. I’m 26, we intend to start trying next year, so by the time I’m 30 should be true (i’m hoping for 28). My sister-in-law actually said this, so when her 30th birthday was rounding the corner, we were all waiting for the announcement– which came just right around it.
“Sometime in the next five years” is what I tell folks who aren’t close enough to know my age and really shouldn’t be asking anyway.
Post # 9
It’s not offensive, but it kind of makes the people people asking sound a bit naive and perhaps narrowminded (not to mention nosy) for assuming that every couple either wants to have children or is able to have children.
Post # 10
@carbear02: I think it’s rude, because it’s not really anyone’s business. For all they know, you might be pregnant already and not ready to announce; you could be dealing with infertility; you could not want children; or any other possibility.
I know people don’t intend it to be rude, but to me, it crosses a line. I would never ask anyone this question, not even my sister.
Post # 11
Yes. And then I scream “YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU TALK TO ME!”
But for real, it makes my skin crawl. It’s none of your business what I’m doing with my vajay unless I initiate the conversation thankyouverymuch.
Post # 12
I do get offended, though my situation is a bit different than yours. In my family, children are more likely than marriage so I’ve been getting the “when are you gonna have a baby” question since I turned 20.
I tend to default to the “ask me after I find a suitable mate” answer which isn’t an option for you.
Usually the way to get people to stop bugging you with uncomfortable questions is to let them know that they’re upsetting you and that what you’re planning on doing with your womb in the immediate or not so immediate future is not a topic for casual conversation.
Post # 13
I do. DH and I are a ok with no kids and we dont know if that will change down the line, but regardless, people need to hop off it.
I usually tell my child-less questioners “right after you”
Post # 14
I don’t get offended by it because I know they are not trying to be rude. It gets really annoying but I appreciate people being interested in my life. I always answer with ‘When God blesses us with one’. There usually isn’t a response to that.
Post # 15
@MrsLongcoatPeacoat: Yeah I was thinking that, and then an abrupt change in topic. Any abrupt change in topics you like to bring up after awkward comments besides the weather?
Post # 16
@oneofthesethings: sometimes I’d like to say “Why do people ask obnoxious questions that are none of their business”?