Do you get offended when people ask when you will have a baby?

posted 1 year ago in Married Life
  • poll: Do you get offended when people ask when you will have a baby?
    yes : (89 votes)
    28 %
    no : (146 votes)
    46 %
    depends : (82 votes)
    26 %
  • Member
    2002 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It doesn’t bother me, we want kids in 5-7 years so that’s what I tell them. I guess I would probably be put off if we weren’t planning on having kids…But since we plan to eventually TTC, it doesn’t offend me. I usually elaborate a little and explain how we want to grow together and do some more experiences like international travel before we have kids, and everyone has been understanding…

    Member
    6949 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @carbear02:  Well, I’m older (getting married in 3 months) so when people ask those questions I just lie and say “we’re trying” but don’t have enough money for fertillity treatments.  It usually gets people to leave us alone, I have yet to convince someone to give me money…..working on that lol.

    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I don’thave a problem with it, but I’m TERRIFIED that we’re going to have fertility problems and everyone will know!

    Member
    3528 posts
    Sugar bee

    Have a couple of neutral responses like, “All in due time…” or “We’re just enjoying being married!”.

     

    I find that people are just trying to make small talk, unless it’s family or close friends, and they’re really wondering.

    Member
    2005 posts
    Buzzing bee

    The best response to any question you don’t want to answer is “why do you ask?”. Make them feel uncomfortable for asking!

    Member
    2156 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I don’t really care. I understand where it’s coming from– we’re married, been together a long time, have good jobs, in our mid to late 20s… yeah, it’s pretty much time.

    In response, I just chuckle and say the first will be here by the time I’m 30. I’m 26, we intend to start trying next year, so by the time I’m 30 should be true (i’m hoping for 28). My sister-in-law actually said this, so when her 30th birthday was rounding the corner, we were all waiting for the announcement– which came just right around it.

    “Sometime in the next five years” is what I tell folks who aren’t close enough to know my age and really shouldn’t be asking anyway.

    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee

    It’s not offensive, but it kind of makes the people people asking sound a bit naive and perhaps narrowminded (not to mention nosy) for assuming that every couple either wants to have children or is able to have children. 

    Member
    3051 posts
    Sugar bee

    @carbear02:  I think it’s rude, because it’s not really anyone’s business. For all they know, you might be pregnant already and not ready to announce; you could be dealing with infertility; you could not want children; or any other possibility. 

    I know people don’t intend it to be rude, but to me, it crosses a line. I would never ask anyone this question, not even my sister.

    Member
    4347 posts
    Honey bee

    Yes.  And then I scream “YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU TALK TO ME!”

    But for real, it makes my skin crawl.  It’s none of your business what I’m doing with my vajay unless I initiate the conversation thankyouverymuch.

    Member
    193 posts
    Blushing bee

    I do get offended, though my situation is a bit different than yours. In my family, children are more likely than marriage so I’ve been getting the “when are you gonna have a baby” question since I turned 20.

    I tend to default to the “ask me after I find a suitable mate” answer which isn’t an option for you.

    Usually the way to get people to stop bugging you with uncomfortable questions is to let them know that they’re upsetting you and that what you’re planning on doing with your womb in the immediate or not so immediate future is not a topic for casual conversation.

    Member
    5518 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I do.  DH and I are a ok with no kids and we dont know if that will change down the line, but regardless, people need to hop off it.

    I usually tell my child-less questioners “right after you”

    Member
    3237 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t get offended by it because I know they are not trying to be rude. It gets really annoying but I appreciate people being interested in my life. I always answer with ‘When God blesses us with one’. There usually isn’t a response to that.

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