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Hello Bees,
Recently I have been hearing from a lot of people who dont necessarily have Mediterranean or Asian roots they have never heard of gifting money at a wedding. I guess it's an eastern tradition?
Do any of you bee’s gift money for weddings?
I'm as non-Asian/Mediterranean as they come (well, a splash of Italian) and I give money at about half the weddings I go to.
I always give money, and I'm half Canadian/half Polish, so no Asian or Mediteranean in me!
I usually give $100 as a gift... less than I want but I'm usually flying to the wedding, getting a room, rental car, etc so something has to give.
Ohh, so I guess it's becoming the norm to consider giving money no matter what your ethnic roots are.
I heard once from someone whos parents were from Bangladesh that it was not normal to gift the bride or groom anything.. i thought that was very odd. I waited until the week after to gift them. I just felt weird about it.
We do usually gift money instead of getting a gift. The amount we give depends on who's wedding it is, but it's always more than $100. We're Canadian, our families are Czech.
I'm a European mutt and I give cash. It's easier for me and usually what the couple would prefer.
I'm irish and I usually give 50-100 depending on if i have a date or who the person getting married is. I'm usually running around last minute to get to the ATM never mind hit the mall for a present.
I always give out money. I only do money + gift for family member. The amount will depend on if I need to fly out, hotel, car rental and all traveling cost. If I am flying out, then they will get less as I probably shell out hundreds of dollars more for the trip to attend the wedding. My presence should be enough, right? :)
All the weddings I have been to were paid by the couple. So I want to help out my friends as much as I can. Plus so many people own a house prior to wedding already. They don't need any more house gifts. So for me it make sense to just give out money.
I haven't in the past, but I will from now on - 50-100, maybe a bit more for family or if I land a much more comfortable job.
I was give money as a gift. I prefer to let the couple decide to use the money for what they really need. I prefer to not to go to the store or order online a gift when I can write a check or give a gift card.
Gifts at a shower and money at the wedding! I normally gift $150-$200 depending on the person/wedding.
100% European here. I ALWAYS gift money at weddings $150-$200 from DH and me
I'm a European mutt (as Aure so elegently put it) and I never give money at weddings.
I always purcahse I gift off of the couple's wedding registry. Cash is just too impersonal, IMO.
I gift money. How much depends on how well I know the couple, usually I give around $100. For my closest friend it will be a bit more and for distant relatives I give more around $50. When it is one of my sisters it will probably be around the $300 mark.
I usually choose stuff off of the bride & groom's registry and have it shipped to them.
i'm half Italian. I always give money, usually $150-$200 (double that if I brought a date). yes, that is expensive, but that is our family's norm/custom.
@Miss Beacon: Funny you say that -- that's the norm in my family too. I'm starting to realize that's not the norm everywhere!
yeah. i agree! when my brothers got married last year, there was a big difference in the gifts between my mom's(italian) and dad's (canadian) sides of the families. 10 person table of their coworkers gifted 200 total. we were shocked.
Always give money at weddings (usually $100/guest). That's what my Italian family does. DH's family does gifts.
@Miss Beacon: Wow, that's crazy! I always thought $200 was the norm... The Bee has been eye-opening to me in that regard!
@80sbee: I'd choose a gift on my own based on my knowledge of the couple and their interests / likes / dislikes / etc. But I've never been invited to a wedding without multiple registries.
at a min i gift $100 per person invited so generally its $200 but hubby likes to buy from a registry, usually something ugly like a vase so i try to stop him
if its a family greek wedding i go up to $500 for us because i dont want to embarrass the family by being cheap
I prefer to gift money. It saves me from having to shop for the couple. I just pick up a card from anywhere and write a check. And I know it is something they can and will use.
I always give money at weddings. I give about $100 per guest, depending on a few factors. I'm Irish, Welsh, and French.
ETA: I always buy a gift off the couple's registry for the shower, if that matters.
@Miss Beacon: thats shocking. if you care enough about the couple to come to their wedding that means you care enough to gift them something decent. 200$ for 10 people? yikes
I always give a gift from the registry (except for my best friend, for whom I bought Tiffany cryastal candlesticks). I want to give something that the couple will have forever, or as close to it as possible. I want them to think of me when they use it, and I want them to treasure it.
My roots are in northern Spain and England (mostly).
Typically if I don't see something that I want to buy from the registry then I'll do money gifts.
@Miss Beacon: Wow! Did they give a present AND give money? If not, that's pretty low for 10 people.
I always gift money. The amount differs. I always try to cover the cost of my dinner and then add 50$. I usually end up giving 250, or more if it is a close family member or friend.
I'm Asian... I gift a actual gift at the showers but its usually money for the wedding unless I know the couple is absolutely dying for a certain item on their registry. I usually do 100-150 when I was single and now DH and I gift at least 200.
I like to give gifts. My favorite gift ever was the shower gift from my best friend's grandmother, who I call Oma. It was a wafflemaker valued at about $40 but it had special meaning for me. When we were little girls, every time I spent the night she would make waffles for us in the morning. She attached the recipe and everything and it meant so much to me.
Italian/Norwegian/Dutch descent for me, but all of my gift-giving skills come from the Italian side. Most of my family gives money, but I like the personal touch and figure other people will give money.
I only gift money, but then I am Asian. Even if I wasn't, I'd gift money bc its easier for everyone involved. The amount to gift depends on a couple of factors: how close FI and I are to the couple, how much the couple gifted us at our wedding (future reference), and if we attend the wedding. If the couple was guests of our wedding, it's custom to give them at least the same amount they gave us. For acquantices or coworkers, if we don't attend the wedding, my FI and I gift $100 total. If we do attend, we gift $100 for each of us. The amount goes up the closer we are to the person. When gifting family, the amount gets a bit crazy, and depends if the sibling is younger or older than FI and I. Younger siblings get more more than older siblings.
Im Canadian, European background and I ALWAYS give money...the amt depends on where it is (cover plate cost), what i can afford and relationship w person. usually minimum $220 for me and FH to $700.
The way I grew up and in my opinion, GIFTS are for showers not weddings. And if you cant afford to cover your plate (unless your young or close family), then you shouldnt go). Couples do have weddings to celebrate but its also to help start their new lives. It shouldnt be an expense to them. They should at least break even.
I like to gift off of the registry, but I'm a student, so I couldn't even vote in the poll, b/c I have never given $50 for a wedding :-/ I like to buy gifts because they're tangible, I love to wrap pretty presents, and I like to see the couple enjoying the gift. Also, I couldn't afford to give a gift over $30ish dollars, so an actual item seems more substantial than just $30 in a card.
I may be totally off-base (I'll find out in 5 weeks) but I honestly think it's the norm around here to gift off to the registry or to give about $40-50 per couple, maaaaybe $100 but that's super generous. I'd say about half of guests bring gifts, half bring money.
@NDBee: I think guests are more willing to gift more money in bigger cities where they know that weddings will generally cost more for the bride and groom. Throwing a recption for your guests in NYC or Montreal will cost way more than in a small town in Iowa.
I do however see your point, and you being a student doesnt help either. It can be tough.
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