Do you give gifts twice if you are invited to a both ceremony & reception?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
602 posts
Busy bee

That’s weird. I don’t think you’re under any obligation to gift twice, though I’d feel weird about showing up to one of the events empty handed so I’d probably gift something small for both. 

Post # 3
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would do a congratulatory card and check for the ceremonu, and a bottle of wine for the party.

Post # 4
5883 posts
Bee Keeper

I think one gift covers both. A year apart? Nope. One gift would be given from me, and probably after the ceremony.

Post # 5
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

They only got married once, regardless of how many weddings they throw themselves. They get one gift.  The timing of it, I think, is entirely up to you.

Post # 6
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

ariaK:  You’re giving a gift to congratulate them on their wedding. They’re only having one wedding, no need for 2 gifts. 

Post # 7
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Definitely not. They get 1 gift, just like any other couple getting married. Think of it this way, if they would have had the events on the same day (like most do) they would only get one gift. 

Post # 8
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

one gift- i would do a card and check at the ceremony. i wouldnt give a gift a year later for the “reception” thats odd they are waiting one whole year between the two events.

Post # 9
1644 posts
Bumble bee

ariaK:  You are making the mistake, of associating your gift-giving with your invitation to an event. That has the unpleasant effect of making it seem that you are paying off the hostess for her hospitality — turning her gracious welcome into a vulgar commercial transaction.

Invitations and gift-giving are indeed related, but not in that way.

When you hear that someone you love is getting married, you naturally want to contribute in some way to their future life together. You do that by *sending* them a gift. You send the gift to the bride’s home: you do not properly ever bring a parcel to a formal event — not the ceremony certainly, but not the reception either.

When you are getting married, you naturally want to invite the people whom you love. It’s the love, or at least friendship, and the fact that you both want to recognize that love, that creates the indirect link between hospitality and gift-giving. So the bottom line is: no, you do not give two gifts just because the same wedding is celebrated on different days; and yes it is weird to bring a parcel to the legal ceremony. Give one gift, and have it sent to their home.

Post # 10
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You send only one gift, with a card.

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors