Post # 1
Hi bees. I need some direction
A family friend is hosting my shower this weekend At her home. It’s an evening shower so I’m wearing a black cocktail dress. I’m not sure what to do about shoes however. Normally I would wear a pair of heels, but I remove my shoes when I’m in other people’s homes. I would feel strange with my feet all over an aquantainces carpet, but I would also feel rude if I was the only one to wear my heels throughout her house. FH suggested i take a pair of flip flops with me, but I don’t think it would look right to wear flip flops with a cocktail dress.
What would you do?
Post # 3
I’d wear flats and avoid the whole ordeal all together.
Yes, I go barefoot in people’s homes if I consider them a friend. If I barely know them, shoes stay on. My husband and I are huge on creature comforts — We invite our friends and family to kick off their shoes whenever they want, even if they’re just over for dinner. We want people to be comfortable. If an aquaintance were to take off their shoes at our house, we probably wouldn’t bat an eye.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
Flats. I go barefoot with friends/family, but otherwise I’d feel weird just making myself comfortable like that.
Post # 5
I’d probably take my shoes off, but that’s how I was raised. We were literally not allowed to walk in the house with them on. When I go to other people’s homes it’s a habit to take them off and I wouldn’t think twice. Personally, I think wearing flip flops would be just as rude as wearing heels both (in my mind) are shoes.
Post # 6
@krex: I voted ‘other’; I don’t think it’s necessary to insist on taking your shoes off, and I think it’s fine to just ask if the host would like you to remove your shoes. Speaking as someone who has hosted a LOT of parties at home, from smaller dinner parties up to parties for 60+ guests, I can say that I have NEVER asked anyone I am hosting to remove their shoes; I find the idea quite rude in all honesty, and for me, it’s not being a good host (as your guests should feel comfortable and welcome in your home). So, really, they shouldn’t ask you to remove your shoes IMPO.
If they do ask you to, then I’d bring either socks or slippers as I too would feel odd going barefoot; the only time I’ll go barefoot in someone’s home is if it’s a REALLY close friend and there’s only like 2 or 3 of us there.
Post # 7
I never got barefoot and I certainly wouldn’t at someone else’s home, where you never know about their cleaning practices.
Post # 8
This thing always gets pretty messy… haha
Before seeing threads like these, I never realized that it was ok for people to wear shoes in somone’s house.
Here, you take off your shoes in somones house, period. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, the shoes come off. It’s considered rude, dirty, and inappropriate to wear your shoes inside.
That being said, I don’t know what is acceptable in NY in terms of shoe ettiquite.
Post # 9
@krex: I wouldn’t alllow someone to wear heels in my house. I wouldn’t allow my expensive hardwood to get damaged or any of my beautiful carpets to get mucked up. I guess I would have to vote for clean flip flips that haven’t been worn outside (I also don’t allow dirt to be tracked through my home) and not to worry about how it looks – you’re inside! I honestly wouldn’t wear a cocktail dress to a casual home shower, but maybe I’m wrong.
To disclose: I hate feet. I find them nauseating and disgusting. I’d be horrified to have a random person’s gross feet all over my house. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I’m slightly insane though. Don’t worry, I’m in therapy 😛
Post # 10
@urchin: +1. No one would be wearing shoes in my house. If I don’t, you sure as hell don’t.
Post # 11
@MissMay3003: Ditto. I always take my shoes off in someone’s (usually whom I know) home because I don’t want to track dirt/germs in.
As a social worker going into strange people’s homes, I leave my shoes on, lol
Post # 12
If someone is hosting an event at their house that involves me wearing cocktail attire I expect to keep my shoes on. For casual visits I would take my shoes off but going barefoot in cocktail attire feels strange to me.
Post # 13
Here you never wear shoes into someone’s house… I think I would bring a pair of “fast flats” to pop on. They’re clean so it prevents the isse of bringing dirt in and keep your footsies covered.
Post # 14
I was always taught to take my shoes off when I go to inside of a house. If it’s someone I don’t know well I usually follow their cues and watch to see if they take their shoes off.
However, I have such an issue with my feet being cold that I always bring a pair of socks along with me 🙂
Post # 15
I hate people who ask me to take off my shoes inside. I never experienced this until I moved to Canada. Honestly it felt like I moved to Japan. I get it’s because of all the dirt and snow in winter but I still hate being forced to take off my shoes!
Post # 16
@urchin: this is how I was raised too. Always remove shoes. But, I just feel weird going barefoot in someone’s house. On the other hand, wearing socks with my cocktail dress would be strange…