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Yep ! It took me 5 days to agree to date J because we had to work out the details and make sure our relationship was realistic :)
Plan is: this semester distance + winter break together + one more semester of distance + summer together in our hometown + short-ish distance (2 hour flight) until the winter wedding! Yay!
Then we'll live in his place for year and a half, and then move back here together. Yippee!
@daydreamwanderer - glad to hear the distance is almost over!
Our plan isn't completely solid yet but he's graduating in May and we'll be LDR until then. If he has a job lined up when he graduates then I'll be moving to be with him, if he doesn't he's going to move in with me when his lease ends in June. Either way this is the last year of distance. :)
We had to. But, it was tough. We were very up in the air until I took the MCAT, bombed it, and HATED my pre-med classes. Once I decided not to go to medical school, we were able to hash out a "plan" and it was contingent on me graduating, getting a job in St. Louis, then waiting a year and a half for him to get out of the Army and come home (which we both knew would happen--he never wanted to be a lifer. He wanted to do his 4 and get out". But, if I couldn't get a job in StL, I'd go to Savannah with him and get a Masters from Georgia Tech's satellite spot. It all worked out pretty good--we just kept counting down the 4 years. It's much easier when you're in college--you're so busy you don't even miss Friday date nights too much.
Having a plan kept me looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel. It wasn't just a year or two we were looking at, but 4 years.
YES!!! That is really what keeps us going (that there is an end in sight)! I am in grad school in PA and when I finish, I will move to Chicago to be with him. So for now, I just focus on school and finishing so it keeps me motivated. I may or may not be able to be with him after our wedding in May depending on what classes my program is offering next semester. We just keep telling each other that we have the rest of our lives to be together and that this is just temporary!
@ejs- Are we BOTH seriously in STL with men away in the military? lol
Our plan:
-over the next few months, nail down date, location, and celebrant for wedding, book these (must have this to apply for visa)
-I apply for Prospective Spouse Visa by February 2010
-Prospective Spouse Visa granted, hopefully by mid-2010
-late 2010/very early 2011, I travel to Oz and we get married
-I apply for spouse visa
Now, somewhere in there we'll have to figure out where we'll be living, get a place, and move at least some of my stuff. I hate to move it all to a place we'll only be in temporarily, but the possibility of him getting a job transfer to Brisbane is completely up in the air.
Yes we have a plan! He will be moving to be with me in October 2010.
I've mentioned in several places on the board that work commitments mean it isn't possible until before then. We did university then we do a compulsary training period in order to qualify. We studied optometry so we practiced as optometrists under supervision for a year and did exams to pass. Once those are out of the way the company that was supervising you can tie you in to working for them for x yrs after qualifying. most say one, his said two. In that October we will have been qualified for 2 yrs.
Until then we alternate where we see each other, this weekend he was at mine, next weekend I'm at his. The reason he is moving to be with me is also part of the plan. Only his mum and dad live in wales and they are currently still working. Where I live I have a bigger family support network, I have long-term ties and friends. He has only lived where he is for 5 years, 3 of those were away at university, so his connections aren't quite as strong. All the same I LOVE where he lives and I'm not ruling it out for later on, but once babies come along, I'd rather have my family around me and go and visit his parents regularly instead. There is more to this story, but I won't bore you!
Its a pain in the bum, but the end is in sight!
We definitely had a plan from the start - marriage! I am a traditionalist and didn't want to move to live with him if we weren't married or at least engaged, and when we started dating, we knew he would be moving in 8 months, so by the 3 month mark, we already had a plan to get married after I graduated. By the time he moved, we had a date set, even though we weren't officially engaged, and that has helped SO MUCH to know the end date! I was telling my mom today that I think the wedding day will be that much more exciting knowing its also the end to our long distance relationship.
We were long distance for four years, culminating in a proposal right before I graduated from college, and now we're in the same city. :) It worked out.
I guess our plan is just to stick with it and make the best of his rotations until he graduates. :P Mr Spin was just here for a month on a rotation and headed out Sunday for another one. We won't see each other much for the next 2 months since he'll be far away and where he was placed to live isn't conducive to visitors (read, he's living with a weird little old lady). But I get him for February, so that's nice. ^_^
But after he graduates and takes his boards, he'll move in with me. My apt. lease will end a month or so after we get married (thank god--I am so sick of this crappy apt and my crappier neighbors) so then we'll move either to a new apt. in Omaha or to a small town outside Omaha, depending on where he takes a job. *sigh* Our plan is really just speculation and vague ideas at this point. We have too many variables and "wait and see" aspects. :P
We didn't have an "end game plan" for most of our LDR. It was super stressful for me. This round of long distance has been more bearable because I know that we'll be married at the end of it. Still, coming off of a year of being in the same town, it was a much harder adjustment for me that I anticipated.
Our plan... to be in the same city by the one year mark and engaged before the one year and six month mark. I'm have a funny feeling we'll be engaged by the one year mark. LOL!!!
yup! We are getting married in 110 days!!! I will see him for about a week at the beginning of December, and then the next time will be the day before the wedding... We were in a LDR for 5 months before we got engaged, and have been engaged for a month and a half. We set the date the soonest we could. :)
before we started dating I knew that my hubs was planning on moving back home, and then when he decided to attend a smeinary in SoCal (his home) I knew that he wasn't going anywhere! We started our LDR in a serious relationship with intentions that marriage was in the near future, and that I would be moving out to CA.
Once we got engaged, it was so much easier to have and LDR with an end in sight!
We had a plan...sort of. We met when I was "home" from college for the summer. FI was going to college pretty much near where he grew up. When we met, he had a semester left and then student teaching.
I was going to college in Poughkeepsie and he was living in Albany. MY plan (ha) was for him to move to New Paltz and get his masters' there while I finished up college. And then we would move to NYC together.
However...FI had different plans, which caused a major rift in our relationship. He got a teaching job (without his masters yet) at a school in a middle of nowhere place in Rockland County, NY. So instead of both of us going to school and living 10 minutes away from each other, I visited him in the middle of nowhere for a year and then moved there with him for 3 months. Then, he kept his job there and we compromised by moving to the Bronx together. I commuted to the city by train and he drove to work.
FINALLY, three years ago, the plan came together when he quit that job, got a job in the city, and we both moved to Manhattan together.
Our plan is to do long distance until the spring when he'll start his job hunt. Once he figures out where he's going to be job wise then I'll follow him wherever that is. It doesn't make sense for me to switch jobs more than absolutely necessary, especially in this economy!
yes! definitely! this was the only way i could imagine being in a successful LDR. when we met we both had 2.5 years of school left and i had 2 co-op workterms in that time. we agreed that i would do my workterms in his city, so that we were only LD off and on (the workterms were 4 months long). then, when we graduated i would move to his city since it's bigger and therefore there were more opportunities for work!
We knew there had to be an end to it but there wasn't a plan.
One of us had to move. We both tried to move to the others' city (job search) and it turned out that he moved closer (but still LDR) first and then I move to his new city. So we both moved!
I do think that if there isn't an end in sight, it's probably not going to work. Both he and I both had that happen before with other significant others.
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What saved our LDR was a long term plan... we talked early on about Bee moving from LA to NYC.
It worked out well for both of us - I had my own company so I wasn't able to move, and for various personal reasons Bee was able and willing to move to New York.
Phew... what a relief that the logistics worked out! We met in November, got engaged in May, and she moved out here in September or October... that long term plan kept us going throughout the LDR.
How about you guys: do you have a long-term plan to be together? If so, what is it?