Do you have a "one that got away"?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Do you have a "one that got away?"
    Yes, I still pine for him, and I am single : (2 votes)
    2 %
    Yes, I still pine for him, even though I am in a relationship : (10 votes)
    8 %
    Sort of. I don't really want him back, but I bet I could have made it work with one of my exes : (40 votes)
    31 %
    No. They are exes for a reason. : (79 votes)
    60 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @SarahCF:  I don’t either. I’m very happy with my husband so maybe that has some impact.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Nope. I’ve been with my DH since we were 15 so there really wasn’t anyone before each other. GFs and BFs when you’re 12-yrs-old don’t really count 😛

    Post # 5
    Member
    179 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Kind of…but I married him 10 years later. We dated in 2003, broke up for 9 years but remained semi-friends. He’s the one who got away…but I got him back. 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @adoc86:  +1

    OP, Me and DH met in high school so there really was no one else. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    744 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @SarahCF:  Nope it literally makes me sick to my stomach to imagine what my life would be with any of my exes.

    Post # 8
    Member
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @SarahCF:  I only have one “ex” in which I never got proper closure. It was in high school, and he was a douche. For some reason he completely ignored me all weekend. I obviously assumed the worst because he had left town (about 3 hours north) to go party all weekend..Normally he would have texted/called me though. We weren’t officially dating, however we did talk about how we would both be upset if the other did something with someone else. In my mind, that was a monogomous relationship. So I basically texted him after that weekend and told him we were done with whatever we were doing. He never texted back and I never saw him again. I started dating now-FI 6 months later and I am so happy I got rid of the other guy.

    Post # 9
    Member
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Not at all. Sure, I got my heart broken, but the thing is, when I think about the guys I realize that’s all it was – a broken heart. Any residual feelings are from the heartbreak, not the romance or any kind of longing for that relationship again. 

    I live on the same street as a church that hosts a very popular fair each year. This year, when driving by the fair to get to my house, I saw an ex. We made eye contact (there was a lot of traffic from people trying to park to attend the fair) so there was a good 30-40 seconds where we both realized who the other was and locked eyes. Then I saw his wife and two children behind him and felt nothing but happiness for him and his family. Good for him! 

    Of course I was freaked out for a moment – the last time I saw this person he was breaking up with me for “no reason” and pulled the “it’s not you its me” line on me. I was instantly crushed. So sure, I was certainly taken aback. But no, there was no one that got away feeling, once the shock of seeing him wore off, it was simply a “good for you” moment. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1625 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @SarahCF:  I started dating my boyfriend when we were super young, 15 and 16. But if we hadn’t gotten back together, he would definitely be my one that got away. We had periods of not being together where we dated other people, or when either or both of us was still single, and I always missed him and found others lacking in comparison. I’m really glad we worked it out and are together now, because I think I would have regretted it my entire life otherwise.

    Post # 11
    Member
    6200 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    No, the other guys I dated were all in high school and I would never wish to be in relationships with them now. I barely wanted to be in relationships with them back then! I only dated one guy who would have been a good choice (really smart, funny, social, considerate, polite, driven, etc.) but we only dated for 2 weeks and are still friends now. I’m super happy that happened, because I like my DH so much better.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2125 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Definitely not. My SO is the one for me. My exes are exes for good reason. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    8418 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I had a guy that I was infatuated with, but once I realized that my idea of him and the reality of him didn’t quite match up I lost interest.  However, he did make me re-evaluate what I found attractive in a guy, so I’m pretty grateful for that.  If it weren’t for meeting him, I’m not sure I’d be as attracted as I am to my husband, so I guess everything happens for a reason (I voted for No, they’re exes for a reason).

    Post # 14
    Member
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I don’t, mostly because I believe FI and I are meant to be together, but I definitely have people from my past that I internet stalk from time to time.  I’m just a seriously nosey person.  It doesn’t mean anything to me emotionally.  To me, it’s the same as how I like to read about people’s lives here on the bee or watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  I just like tracking other people’s lives!

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    3415 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

    I used to think I had a “one that got away” it took forever for me to get over him.  But I met my true soul mate and every feeling for my ex disappeared.  I will talk to him when I see him (maybe once every 4 years) and I think of him as a friend now and look back on our time as being young and wild.

    I think you need another option for “I used to think so but I’ve met my true soul mate”.

    Post # 16
    Member
    306 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @SarahCF:  I’m not sure I believe in “the one that got away”. I dunno, maybe that’s just a cop out for me to say it like that, but I do feel like things happen for a reason. I don’t believe in destiny (conundrum, right?), but I feel like things always work out the way that they should. Here’s a perfect example:

    The guy I dated in college was my first REAL relationship. We were together all the time and practically lived together. He was the first and only guy that seriously broke my heart. We kind of kept seeing each other while broken up over the course of a year and a half, and it started to look like we were about to get back together. We even spent Christmas together with my family, but still hadn’t established whether we were “officially” getting back together or not. Then I met my husband and everything changed. I suddenly stopped answering my ex’s calls and texts and had no desire to even retain a friendship with him. I knew that meant something, I could feel it. 

    My husband and I were together for about 3 years when I got a weird message from my best friend of over 20 years. She and my ex, who had always been very friendly, ran into each other one night and exchanged numbers to hang out as friends. One thing led to another, and it was obvious there was an attraction. She messaged me saying that they were dating and that it was very clear that it would be a long term relationship, and she needed to know that it was okay with me. Hearing this and having absolutely zero hard feelings about it made me realize everything that had happened over the prior few years was how it was meant to be.

    They got engaged, as did we, and she and I were recently in each others’ wedding parties. They would never have met if he and I didn’t date in college. That whole experience solidified my feelings that we both ended up with who we should have. It’s crazy how the world works out sometimes!  🙂

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