Post # 1
We do. We have about 20 of my fiancé’s parents’ friends. (And we had to cut them off at that due to space!) They’re Chinese, so it’s cultural to invite people to your kids’ weddings if you went to theirs. So this results in 20 people that I’ve certainly never met and my fiancé has maybe met 3 times in his entire life. His parents are contributing, as are mine, so of course they get some input on the guest list. It’s just kind of too bad that now we have to spend time out of the night awkwardly greeting these strangers and thanking them for coming. Time we’d obviously rather be spending with guests we care about and enjoying ourselves. So… we joke about how we hope they bring good gifts haha!
Anyone else have “strangers” attending – that neither of you know well/not at all? If you’re already married, how did it go? Was it awkward?
Post # 3
@Pinkmoon: MIL gave us a list of about 20 people as well. It was not becuase of a cultural thing–it’s just an annoying MIL thing, lol. She actually invited the people that USED to rent farm land from DH’s grandma 10 years ago. Yes, and guess what? They ACTUALLY flipping showed up. It wasn’t too awkward as they still had plently of people to talk to.
She also invited great newphews and nieces of DH’s grandpa that had no idea who we were. I was a little embarrassed thinking of how they might look when they get an invite from us, but no one said anything.
The ones that did come that we didn’t know we just said, ‘Oh! Fantastic to meet you. We’ve heard a lot” and got on with our night. Luckily many didn’t show up, maybe about 5-10.
Post # 4
I was a stranger at a wedding! DH’s ultra-good friend from high school got married last year after a three-year engagement. We met and got engaged during their engagement, so the first time they met me was at their wedding!
I also had strangers at our 42 person wedding! I hadn’t met some of DH’s friends that lived cross-country until the wedding day!
Post # 5
@Pinkmoon: There were tons of people there who we didn’t know – friends of my parents and my dad’s colleagues. Most people who I hadn’t met or hadn’t seen for a while, just introduced themeslves to me and I just said it was great to see them and thanks for coming. The “strangers” definitely didn’t expect me to know who they were and they made me very comfortable.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
We had a few neither of us had never met before – his aunt’s (who married into the family) parents, my coworker’s girlfriend, friends’ kid’s boyfriend, etc. It was fine. I probably spent about 5 minutes total talking to all of them, and they were all just thrilled to be included even though they didn’t know us.
Everyone knows the bride and groom are crazy busy that day, so don’t worry about talking to them more than “Hi, nice to meet you, yes thank you I know I look beautiful, have a great time!”
Post # 7
@Pinkmoon: Yeah, my Chinese mom wants to invite everyone she knows to my wedding. Thankfully (I guess) she’s not contributing so she doesn’t really have a say! 😛
At two of my aunts’ weddings, there were strangers invited by my grandparents and I think they handled it well. It was a little awkward but all you really need to do is smile, shake hands/hug/whatever, and thank them for coming. You can even throw in a “It’s good to see you!” if they seem nice, and then I think you can move on – I don’t think you’ll be expected to entertain them for long!
Post # 8
Most of DH’s extended family. I had never met any of them, and he barely knows them.
Post # 9
Yeah.. NO. I think that’s incredibly awkward and don’t care to have people my SO and I do not know and would be meeting for the first time at our wedding.
Post # 10
P.S. Chinese guests usually give good-sized cash gifts. Have your FI ask his parents if their guests’ gifts are going to them or to you – if they’re super traditional, the gifts go to whoever invites them but if you’re lucky, that’s more $$$ in your pocket!
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
We invited everyone in our church and some people came who had only visited the church a couple of times. We had no idea who they were but it was important to us to invite everyone.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Yup, there were actually quite a few of my parents friends that neither of us knew… and to be honest, we (accidentally and horribly!!) didn’t talk to them at all the night of the wedding! As far as I know, no one complained though…
@ChicFoodist: +1 to this, my parents’ (Chinese) friends whom we’ve never met gave us the most money out of everyone we knew; we were really floored by how generous they were.
Post # 13
Dad’s cousin. My parents insisted we invite those folks. Then they replied back for them plus their son. I ended up contacting them to politely suggest they leave their son at home because we also hadn’t invited kids as a rule. When I drew up the seating chart it had my sister with them and my parents suggested I move to their table, bc my sister didn’t know them. Well, THEN WHY DID WE INVITE THEM?
They were very nice though to talk to at the wedding, wife helped decorated our suite (I hadn’t even thought about whether they’d be doing that – and unwittingly gave my sister the key to keep track of for me), gave a more generous present than many, etc.
Post # 14
Thanks ladies. I know I’m probably overthinking it, and we’ll be busy so we just won’t be spending a lot of time talking to tables regardless. I’m sure FMIL/FFIL will entertain/host their friends anyway.
Post # 15
Not really. Either DH or I knew all our guests – there were a few parents’ friends that we didn’t know well, but at least one of us recognized them.
Post # 16
Yup. My in-laws invited a lot of their friends & my MIL’s step-parents (long story)
Neither my husband had ever heard of them or ever talked to them before. Lovely people, we just didn’t know them at all.
ETA: No idea why I put “adoptive parents”… they’re her step-parents. I’m having an off day.