(Closed) Do you have one of these types in your family?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@Eva Peron: I went to see my uncles recently and they were saying how they hardly ever read and write. WTF?! I thought everyone did basic things like that everyday. They work with their hands/ physical labor and said all they usually write is their name on the back of a check. Obviously, I’m out of touch because I thought people read for fun! My uncles always say crazy crap I don’t understand. I love them so much but we live very different lives. 

Once for a laugh my cousin and I called my uncle to ask him if I sent him something and asked him to RSVP what would he do? His answer was something about how he does not eat raw fish and we should not either! He’s talking about sushi. I told him he would get an invitation in the mail and he said he does not want me to mail him anything because he will throw it away. If I want him to be there call him and tell him.

Post # 4
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Embarrassing relatives?  Honey, I wrote the book!  Let’s see:

One of my aunts is mentally “slow”.  As in, very low IQ.  I think it’s from all the pot smoking, or something.  She is very loud, and obnoxious.  Her daughter is the same.  When they go in public, they share their life stories with anyone who will listen.  Including discussing childhood molestations that they allegedly endured.  My aunt cannot remember how to pronounce things.  She thinks our President is called, “Morocco Bama”.  If I’m lying, I’m dying!  She often claims that her boyfriend looks like, “Leonardio Decap”.  Her boyfriend, who does not remotely resemble Leonardo Decaprio, was beaten as a child, so he has mental problems.  He sounds like Boomhauer from King of the Hill, if you know what I’m talking about.  At family functions, he piles sky-high plates of food and eats about three or four plates like that.

My other aunt is addicted to Xanax.  If she gets her hands on them before a huge family function, and she always seems to, she takes way too many and acts crazy.  She curses people out, shits herself, etc. 

My dad’s girlfriend is a professional criminal.  She is an expert thief.  She will talk about sex at the most inappropriate times and places to the most inappropriate people.

The list goes on and on.  I am really, really dreading the big meet at my wedding with my family and the in-laws.

Post # 5
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Pinksapphire: My aunt is addicted to Xanax and other pills as well.  She’s so absolutely rude and embarrassing.  I know exactly that you mean.

Post # 6
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@Pinksapphire: This is so funny, I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Morocco Bama and Leonardio Decap? OMG, I can’t stop laughing. I am about to pee my pants!!!

Post # 7
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Pinksapphire: Oh my goodness….your wedding sounds like it will be QUITE a party lol!!

Post # 8
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My FI cousin gets in a fight whereever she goes. including chuck e cheese with another gril for calling her daughter “dusty” and then she got the whole family kicked out of applebees ( including his g ma) for trying to fight the manager because she asked for different crispier fries 🙂 I love those stories! she’s hilarious. I actually totally embrace his family. it doeant bother me a lick! cause EVERYBODY has one of those 🙂

Post # 9
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I have a relative who is obsessed with money and how much things cost. You can’t say anything to her without her bringing up money. If I ask “So what are you making for dinner?” she’ll say “Oh I’m making chicken with a garden salad. I got the chicken on sale for 99 cents a pound and the salad mix was on sale for $1.50. The other grocery store was charging $3.89 a bag bla bla bla”

I mean she does this with everything. It’s like a weird tic or something, I really don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it anymore.

Post # 11
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

@KatyElle:  My FCIL is like this about calories.  She recently lost a dramatic amount of weight.  I understand why she is obsessed with her calorie intake.  However, I am not sure why she feels the need to police everyone else’s eating habits.  If she finds out that FMIL and I went and ate somewhere, she asks FMIL what we had to eat and she looks it up on her calorie counter app.  Then she says, “You’ve already had 3973095740932 calories today!”  Then does this disapproving look.  Ugh!

 

@Rouquine:  It is really embarrassing.  One time my aunt cussed out the preacher’s wife at a wedding because she was trying to steal things.  She always tries to steal when she’s messed up on Xanax.  If she’s home, she gets my uncle’s credit card and orders stuff off infomercials.  Then, days later, when the UPS truck comes, she doesn’t know where the stuff came from and my uncle will be PISSED!

 

@Soladylike:  I wish I was kidding.  One day I remember her being like, “I can’t stand that damn Morocco!  He does nothing but lie!” Then, she was describing her 300 pound boyfriend to my mom and she said, “Everybody always tells me that he looks just like that Leonardio Decap.”  My mom and I died laughing!

 

@Juliepants:  I think I’m gonna start selling tickets!

Post # 12
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Pinksapphire: Oh my god, can I invite myself to your wedding just so I can watch?

I’m so sorry you have that can of nuts to deal with!!

“Morocco Bama” has me laughing so hard, and I really needed that giggle today…

Post # 13
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have plenty of crazy relatives myself…

The kicker of all of them though would have to be my great uncle, who is a royal trip. His newfound “profession” involves working as a volunteer chaplain at a Veteran’s hospital.

Now he insists upon wearing one of those little white collars so he can “easily be identified as a clergyman”. The thing is, all he did was get an online certificate, which anybody with an e-mail address can do in about five minutes on the internet. He signed his Christmas cards as “Reverend” until the pastor at his old church told him he had to stop, since he didn’t attend a proper seminary.

His compromise to not being able to go by Reverend is to have people call him “Chap” (short for chaplain).

I am terrified he’s going to offer to officiate my wedding…especially since I’m not intending on inviting him. He is sooooo weird.

Post # 14
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

LOL oh you girls.  This is a great thread for those needing a giggle!  LOL @ the calorie count and the “Reverend”!!

Post # 15
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My grandpa in law (grandmas hubs) is a creep! He wears suspenders and insists on kissing EVERYONE. Like, slimy gross inappropriate kisses. And anytime someone wears a pony tail he says “you know what’s under a pony tail? the pony’s ASS”. 

Umm….embarassing. <


Understatement.

Post # 16
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@miz fizzix: He signed as Reveren.. OMG I’m laughing so bad.

My family’s crazy but in a good way. There’s a lot of dark humor and we’re used to make fun of each other. I bet if an outsider looks at us would think we hate each other.

My aunt is really embarassing her voice volume is always at the max, she wants to hug and kiss every person she knows, she has no notion of personal boundaries and makes the most innapropiate questions. She’s unaware there’s a doorbell in my house, as she always screams asking for us to open the door instead of knocking, she’ll yell at you miles away in order for you to wave at her and she makes everyone know she knows you in case they didn’t see her hugging and kissing you.

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