Post # 1
I’m really not a fan of a unity candle or sand or anything really of that nature. Are these necessary? Our ceremony site can only put down so many chairs but there will be plenty of standing room, so we are trying to keep the ceremony short.
Post # 3
Definitely not necessary – I have never actually seen a unity symbol at a wedding in real life!
Post # 4
The only thing you “have” to do in a wedding ceremony is the legal wording agreeing you are married. That’s it! The rest you get to make up yourself, unless you’re getting married in a church that dictates something.
We completely customized our ceremony, and did not include a unity candle or equivalent. We thought it was a little awkward, and yet another thing to have to buy and set up. The ceremony is already so emotional and meaningful without it!
Post # 5
We’re not doing it. I know some people like them, but they just aren’t for us. If you guys don’t like them, you definitely don’t need to!
Post # 7
We’re not having one either… Seems so overdone to me now.
Post # 8
We’re not doing anything of the sort either. Ceremony will be short and sweet.
Post # 9
You definitely do not need to have one. I was not necessarily excited about having a unity candle, but I always assumed I’d have one, because I had seen them at every wedding I had ever attended. However, Darling Husband is a pastor, and he really liked the idea of the unity sand, and I found it to be very meaningful — and still do, especially when I look at the vase that holds the now-combined sand with the three colors (one for each of us, and one for God, who is the foundation and covering for our marriage) — and it serves as a very clear, very visual reminder that there is now no way for Darling Husband or me to ever “get our own sand back” out of the vase. To even try would result in disturbing every single thing in our lives. I really like having that visual reminder of the oneness that marriage creates.
Post # 10
You absolutely don’t need one but I will be having the unity sand since we are having a Destination Wedding. We will be having 3 different sand colors. One to represent me, another to represent my fiancé, and the last one to represent our daughter. We will be able to take it home and have as a keep sake for the rest of our lives to remember that special day. 🙂
Post # 11
Unity candles aren’t even allowed in my church so we aren’t having one! I don’t think they are necessary unless they mean something to you and you fiance!
Post # 13
@khf777: Ahaha, oh, how I love these. 🙂
Post # 14
@Juliepants: I know!!! I can’t help myself – and he really does give such practical advice!
Post # 15
we won’t be doing any unity traditons such as sand or a candle. But i have been considering doing the wine box ceremony, but we don’t really drink wine, so I’d substitute that with something else appropriate. I just like the idea of getting to open the box years down the road like a time capulse and recapturing a bit of that day.
Post # 16
No need! To me it’s just another break in the ceremony.